funny filipino jokes

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

She was a receptionist in one of her friend's luxurious hotels when he walked there to destroy the complete hotel. She remembers him as she knows him well since high school but he doesn't remember her because she is no more the fatty girl which she was back in her high school time. To save her friend's hotel she stood before him and he abduct her from the place. He manipulates her to become his girlfriend. Few months after he forced her into contract marriage. Several exposures exposed in her life and love blooms between them.

Amalthea Romano is the most organized person you'd ever meet. From her closet, down to her study table, everything must be perfectly aligned. Ganoon din sa schedules niya! She's very goal oriented. She planned to graduate college, run the family business, get married eventually or maybe spend the rest of her life with her beloved pets. But one Sunday morning ruins it all. Papaanong biglang nasingit sa schedule niya ang maging babysitter?

"How dare you keep my son away from me?!" "You rejected me and didn't want to do anything with me!" "I will reject you all over again to punish you for this!" "Jokes on you if you think I care about your rejection anymore." ___ Delilah was the contracted bride of Alpha Stephen Knight even after being his fated mate. Losing her parents at a young age was hard enough for her and getting brutally rejected by her mate was the last straw for her. She left with dignity and vowed to never turn back. But what happens when her past comes back to prove destiny once again? Stephen Knight never wanted anything to do with her but was that going to change when he sees her after years? She has changed but he hasn't. He is still the same heartless man. In the game of lies, revenge and pain, they will discover truths that's going to shatter their lives. Will Delilah find Stephen beside her or will he break her heart once again?

Book one of The Moon & Sun Series. Fate is a very funny thing. Sometimes it can bring something amazing into your life, a grand new adventure that will test and challenge you. That will help you grow and learn where you belong in this world. Other times, well... she's just a gigantic witch with a sick sense of humour. I never asked for any of this to happen, to be beat down, hurt and struggle and fight everyday to grow and get better. This was never what I imagined my life would be like. But I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. And I sure as hell won't let a man define me. I make my own path, I will do what needs to be done and if I have to do it on my own, well then so be it.I'll be stronger for it, and there's nothing a man fears more than a strong woman.

When a young girl moves to a new town with her Uncle and cousins, she has to complete her senior year at a new school. Her love for tattoos, fighting, fast cars and family is what keeps her going. She tries to ignore everyone to make it through her last year but that doesn't last when she catches the eyes of 3 brothers. The Brothers run the school and town they live in. All 3 are drop dead gorgeous and used to everyone sucking up to them. They have girls all over them every week but none have committed. Their love for all things fast, cars, women and motorcycles, are the only thing on their minds. That is until a new girl shows up and doesn't treat them like everyone else. Her smart mouth, tattoos and attitude intrigue the brothers and they can't wait to have her. Will she give into their advances? Will the brothers give up their fast ways?? Just have to wait and see...... **THIS STORY HAS A LOT OF GRAPHIC SEX SCENES AND SEXUAL SITUATIONS. DO NOT READ IF UNDER 18 OR IF YOU AREN'T INTO THIS TYPE OF BOOK**

Once bitten, twice shy. This saying motivated me to abstain from things that have hurt me in the past and one of it, is women. I'm Adam, a famous billionaire. I owned multinational companies and funny enough, I have only male employees. I don't let women get close to me. I avoid them like they were a plague but then, it came to a matter of life and death and - she's the only one that can save my son's life....

Nagkaroon ng kaguluhan sa coffee shop na pinagtratrabahuhan ni Sabina, isang guwapong customer ang tinamaan ng baril. Duguan itong gumapang sa pinagtataguan niya at hiniling na itago niya at pakaingatan ang maliit na box. Ngunit parang nanadya ang tadhana ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos ng pangyayari ay tumawag naman ang step-mother niya para sabihing naaksidente ang Papa niya. Hindi na natapos pa ang kanyang kamalasan simula ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos maratay ng Papa niya sa ospital ng ilang linggo ay binawian na rin ito ng buhay. Pagkatapos ay pinalayas siya ng kanyang madrasta sa kanilang bahay at ibenenta nito ang bahay na pag-aari ng kanyang mga magulang. Hindi pa duon natapos ang kasamaan nito. Nadiskubre niyang hindi aksidente ang nangyari sa Papa niya. Ipinapatay ito ng madrasta niya para makuha nito ang insurance ng Papa niya. Sa sobrang galit at naisipan niyang maghiganti. Aakitin niya ang bilyonaryong fiance ng step-sister niya. Laking gulat niya nang mapagtantong ang fiance nito ay ang guwapong cutomer niya sa coffee shop! At hinahanap nito sa kanya ang ipinatago nitong box. Ang problema, hindi na niya maalala kung saan niya nailagay iyon! Nanganganib ang buhay ng guwapong lalaki kapag hindi niya nahanap ang box. Ngunit mas nanganganib ang puso niya dahil napagtanto niyang umiibig na pala siya sa guwapong lalaki na nadiskubre niyang isa palang Mafia Boss.

As an avid fan of the well - known Filipino singer-songwriter, actor, and model Michael Hugh Perez, Hera Ashley couldn't resists his charm the first time she met him in person. To what extent will she express her love and adoration? What if she's just confused admiration with love? When the table turned, it was only then she realized her true love for her friend Zanjoe.. her blanket, her umbrella and savior. Before she knew it, he was already gone. Is it too late then?

Elsie Miller, just an ordinary girl that lived in ordinary life. Her life turned chaos when she accidentally bumped into a little girl that attached to her immediately after the incident.Dexter Anderson, the mafia king that lost his family and it turned him to a cold hearted, ruthless and heartless mafia-broken mafia. The only family left was his niece, Andrea Smith. He devoted all his love to his niece and willing to do anything to create a smile on her face and she was the cause he trampled into Elsie's world."You can't reject me. Once I decided what I want, no one can say no to me and you are included. I will make sure you come to me and say yes to my face. Mark my words.”"Haha. Very funny mister whatever you are. Let's see how you are going to make me say yes!”"Well, challenge accepted.” He cut off the line afterwards without giving me chance to argue back. Arrogant and rude. Now, it convinced me more that this was the right decision ever for rejected his offer.