funny fat jokes

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Tess betrayed by her boyfriend left the city without telling a soul, with only one thing on her mind, “revenge”.

What happens when a wedding planner has to work alongside a temperamental and annoying bride's brother to plan the wedding of the year? Chaos, pure chaos. The last thing Violet needed was a man to touch her slightly not so flat stomach (or perhaps it was a little more than slightly not to flat) and press her against a wall. She wasn't a model, and she knew it. So naturally, she just sucks her stomach in. Violet prided herself on creating the best weddings society has ever seen, the last thing she needed was to go head to head with the bride's brother, when planning Melbourne's biggest wedding of the year. Alex was everything Violet could dream about, but not touch. Handsome, built straight out of a magazine with the six pack. Was his interest in Violet genuine, or just another charm for the bedrest?

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

Rasa hadir tanpa kata. Menciptakan asa dalam jiwa. Dan ketika cinta mulai bicara. Perubahan indah akan tercipta. Inilah yang dialami oleh William Nugraha, putra tunggal Adi Nugraha pemilik perusahaan yang berjalan di bidang properti. Siapa sangka jatuh cinta pada teman sekelasnya yang gendut namun cantik di matanya, membuat segala perilaku buruknya berubah. Menciptakan kebahagiaan bagi orang tuanya karena tak ada lagi Liam yang bandel dan sering mendapatkan surat cinta dari sekolah. Yang ada saat ini hanya Liam si bintang kelas peraih juara olimpiade matematika. Bahkan berhasil mendapatkan beasiswa kuliah di Harvard.

"กูไม่ชอบผู้หญิงผมหยิก" (หยิกหมอยอะไรนี่มันลอนมาม่าคะเสี่ย!) "แล้วกูก็ไม่ชอบผู้หญิงตัวเตี้ย" จึก!!! (โดนไป 1 ดอก ต้องการแพทย์ด่วนตรูอยากต่อความสูงตอนนี้! ) "ไม่ชอบผู้หญิงดัดฟัน" (ใครก็ได้ เอาช้อนมาแงะมันออกให้กูที!!!!) "ไม่ชอบผู้หญิงมีรอยสัก" (เห็นได้ไงฟะ!! เล็กกะจิดริดยังสาระแนตาดีอีกพ่อคุณ!! กลืนน้ำลายลงคอแทบไม่ทัน) "และอีกอย่าง... กูไม่ชอบผู้หญิงนมเล็ก!" กรี๊ดดดดดดด!!! นมเล็กแต่เซ็กส์จัดนะเว้ยไอ้เสี่ย! ฉันแทบกระอักออกมาเป็นเลือด อ้าปากค้างแบบกลางอากาศ นี้ตรูไม่ตรงสเปคมันเลยรึไงฟะ! แทบสะดุดล้ม เข่าทั้งสองแทบทรุดลงกับพื้น เจ็บจึกกับคำว่า ตรูนมเล็ก!!! "กูไปละ มีธุระต่อ" เค้าหันไปบอกเสี่ยภูแบบไม่แยแสฉันเลยสักนิด ไม่เลยสักนิด 😭 หึ! คิดว่าคนอย่างอีชาจะไม่มีอะไรดีเลยรึไง! "แต่หนูซิงนะคะ!!!"

I was dumped because of my weight. My stepmother tried to comfort me, saying, "It's okay, it's okay. A little extra weight is good." I watched as my graceful sister took my place and married my fiancé. Meanwhile, I was sent abroad to be "fattened up like a pig." I barely escaped with my life and endured unimaginable hardships. Now, those who hurt me should, at the very least, face justice for their actions.

Books 1 and 2 In a world where it is almost impossible to find a fated mate and hard to reject them, Tamia finds herself in a bind when her husband suddenly finds his fated mate. From the loved and wanted wife, she faded into the shadows of his heart. The heartbreak is intense, yet she can't let go because of the ties that bind them, but she knows only true freedom can bring her peace. So when an opportunity to escape her husband's pack presents itself by virtue of sacrifice, she takes it and does not look back. Fate might have decided to rob her of her joy, her home and her happy ending, but Tamia takes destiny into her hands and decides to create her own fate with the Dark Alpha.

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!

Lilah Winters has been on the run for the last seven years. Moving from pack to pack, and hotel to hotel. Lilah’s mother had been trying her hardest to keep her only child safe. Using any method she could to stay one step ahead of the man from her daughter's nightmares. Just days before her eighteenth, Lilah and her mother are in a car accident, throwing Lilah directly into the path of the very man she was trying to escape. Injured and barely conscious, Lilah has no choice but to accept his help. But that doesn’t mean that she is going to make it easy for him.