funny fantasy books

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

"Until death do us part."Those were the words that had clung in the recesses of Solene's mind as she stood at the center of the altar with her soon-to-be-husband. True that she had been favored by accidents since she was still a child and that probably, one of these accidents would end their marriage early if she weren't careful.Little did she know though, that when the vows were said, her groom meant it literally.Only this time, it had a twist.A spell-binding, delightfully-inviting twist.All Rights ReservedJMFelic Books 2020 Book Cover by Whendell Souza Lira

Christopher Hudson, eldest son and CEO of The Hudson Group, has his eye on four hundred and seventy acres of land in Bethel, Vermont. He wants to purchase the land and build a luxury resort. It is his vision that the resort will be the corner stone of The Hudson Group for years to come. The problem is the land will cost him more than he wants to pay. Selena Fitz and her friends are The Fantasy Fiction Writing Club. After a typical day at work, she relaxes with her club buddies with a glass of wine and her laptop at the ready. That’s when she discovers that she switched the club’s flash drive with the flash drive she gave her boss. The stories on the flash drive detailed all the dirty things the club members wanted to do to Christopher Hudson and his brothers. Desperate to get the drive back, the club members break into the Hudson Mansion. Instead of retrieving the flash drive, Selena is presented with an opportunity of a lifetime all because she owns a piece of land that her family has handed down from generation to generation.

His fate was decided by a lottery. It was already not easy for him to eat delicious food, what more if someone told him that he was destined to save a lot of people?"Me? A hero? Nah, no way. Thank you very much. I don't want to clean up anyone's mess and save lives like a chore." For him, heros sacrifice a lot of things and die for the greater good. It is a waste, so it would be better for him to be a bandit. Sadly, that was easier said than done...

Aaron Morris had it all. Good looks, a beautiful girlfriend, good grades in college. He only had one problem. He was being stalked by a red-haired nightmare otherwise known as Bella Davis! She was the bane of his existence, a thorn on his side who won't leave him alone no matter what. Will he ever get rid of her or will she continue to annoy him with her unrequited love?*This is the spin-off of The Ugly One but can be read as a stand alone novel. However, I recommended you read that one first :)*

Vampires, vampires, and more vampires. That was what Raelynn saw when she opened her eyes after a long sleep. Raelynn had no idea how, but she was now in a land filled with vampires and had transmigrated into the body of a weak human princess, Aurelia. Her kingdom is at war with the vampires, and it is now up to Raelynn inside Aurelia's body to protect herself as well as her people from the vampire king, Silas Aryton, who is hellbent on taking over her throne. Being a Lady Commander and warrior in her previous life, she takes it upon herself to stop the vampires and fight them. How will Raelynn protect her throne and her people from the king? In the battle for the throne, she also has to protect herself from the wicked vampire king, who has set his eyes on her since their first meet.

Riveria was on the brink of collapse when Ethan Rivers arrived and took control of it. To fulfill his teacher's dying wish, he governed Riveria for three years, turning it into the most prosperous province in the country. However, just as he was about to end the turmoil once and for all, he was framed and imprisoned, and powerful families seized his achievements. They smeared his name, turning him into a public enemy. With Ethan gone, they believed that Riveria belonged to them.  Little did they know that the border forces rejoiced. "Ethan is gone? Hahaha! No one can get in our way now. Let's get started!" Foreign enterprises also jumped for joy. "Riveria is perfect for factories. Without Ethan stopping us now, nobody can stop us!"  Chaos returned, and people began to yearn for Ethan. As they investigated his life, shocking truths emerged.  He was the author of bestselling books and had donated hundreds of millions to the impoverished. He had even provided homes to the families of national heroes. When the truth came to light, the world fell into chaos, the villains panicked, and everyone was filled with regret!

Sold like a circus animal. Collared, forced into misery and self-hatred. With a single blow, she hopes to change her life, only to find herself trapped again. Ocean has no idea what freedom means, but she desires nothing more than a taste of it. The secrets hidden from her will unfold before her eyes, no one can escape the truth. ~~~ The book excerpt: "Here, I have a key to your heart," I left the key in my palm, metal, and skin together. I stumbled upon the ancient artwork in the locker rooms. It caught my attention because it resembles a dagger, so I took it and waited for the perfect opportunity. "Silly girl, that is not the key to my heart. Pathetic attempt." Vladimir growls in disgust. If I'm lucky, I'll be free by the end of the night. Taking the first step toward my destruction, I grin and move my hips in time with the slow music in the background. Vladimir swallows, his Adam's apple bobbles in his throat. The vampire's eyes focus on the crook of my neck as I stop directly in front of him. I place my palm on his chest, guide my fingertips down to his abdominal muscles, a corner of my lip twitches in disgust. When he closes his eyes, I take the opportunity to plunge the key directly into his heart, smiling as his eyes shoot open and he looks down at me in horror. "Are you still convinced I don't have the key to your heart?" I ask, grab him by the collar, and pull him closer. My lips nearly touch his ear as I whisper, "It fits."

The Imperial Court of Tang Empire became dim and corrupt. The Emperor believed eunuchs. The officials vied with each other for authority. The Tang Empire was about to collapse. The flouring Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism eyed it covetously. The three sects wanted to contend for the domination of the whole world. Which one would win in the end? Or would they coexist peacefully at last? Armies of different nations invaded the frontier on all sides. People and the whole world were in extreme misery. Who could save them?A young man of the Imperial Clan was reborn in Chang’an. In the Last Life, he was framed and was driven out of his place. He was the king of the subjugated country. When he wandered on the streets, he wanted to be an ordinary people and live an ordinary life in Chang’an but failed.In this life, he determined to fight against the heaven and change his own fate. He would not give those people an opportunity who framed him in his Last Life. He would hold his title and his place. In order to maintain order and peace of the world, he was going to wipe out all villains of the whole world with the Imperial Sword, adhere to the emperor’s principle, and enact the new national law. He would rule over the empire to prove himself.

What if you really were transported to a fantasy world and expected to kill monsters to survive?No special abilities, no OP weapons, no status screen to boost your stats. Never mind finding the dragon's treasure or defeating the Demon Lord, you only need to worry about one thing: how to stay alive.All the people summoned form parties and set off on their adventures, leaving behind the people who nobody wants in their group.Story of my life, thinks Colin.