fart jokes for kids

My brother-in-law started making a fuss about wanting to spend Christmas vacation at the beaches in Hawaii, so I decided we'd make it a family trip. When my husband's adoptive sister got wind of it, she insisted on tagging along with her kid. Without a second thought, my husband went ahead and booked plane tickets for everyone—except me. He expected me to drive there with all the luggage. I thought at least someone in the family would speak up for me, but no, they all sided with him. Fine. If that's how they want it, then we'll go our separate ways—what's theirs is theirs, and what's mine is mine. But the moment I took that stance, the whole family suddenly started panicking…

I need a wife. Now. It doesn’t have to do with love and living the good life. This is all about getting the money my billionaire father left to me. And I’m running out of time. But who proposes to a stranger after the first date? Me. That’s who. As if I have another choice. Luck is on my side though, and a beautiful model shows up in my office. Single? Gorgeous? Funny? All of the above. Our first date goes so well that I feel unsure about my decision to do this thing with her—you know, fake it. I put it off and decide to do it later, to ask for her help after we get to know each other better. But I like her more and more each time we meet, and eventually, offering her a ring isn’t for my dad’s money—it’s because I want her more than anything else in the world. Besides, who’s going to know if it’s fake or real? And does it really matter? Yeah. It does. To her…

'She was young, so I let her grow. She was wild, so I let her live her life. She wanted to build a career, so I stayed away. But the time has come now. Time for her to be tamed, to learn the rules, to be where she belongs. Beside me. Now the time has come for her to be mine. Because I, Duncan De Sylvano, am ready to hunt for my queen.' *** Cassandra Brooks has spent most of her life by paying her alcoholic mother's debts, with only one dream that one day she would be away from her disarranged family and become an independent woman. And after years, she was the woman she always wanted to be. Strong, fiery, wild, and a thriving model. The beauty who never fails to get attention. Broken by her past beyond repair, love was never in her to do list. Until one night, she came face to face with a mysterious Italian. The dark aura of danger around the rugged man got her curious. And when an opportunity to enter the untouchable billionaire's life came, she didn't think twice to grab it. Her plan was simple: get the hunk and then move on. But little did she know that it was Duncan De Sylvano's empire, and no one entered his territory without his permission. So didn't she. Now that his prey was right where he wanted her, he was ready to hunt. And he wouldn't stop until she was tamed and… his. After all, he has waited for years… *** Book two of 'Obsessive Billionaires' series The books of the series can be read as standalone.

Emma is living every fangirl's dream: her new CEO is her celebrity crush, and she'll be working with her favourite K-pop idols as a designer. Her new CEO, Park Hyun Bin, is a former K-pop idol with a controversial past and now founder of an entertainment company. Emma ends up in his bed, and what was meant to be a one night stand turns into more. But as a long-term fangirl, Emma knows fooling around with a popular ex-idol could spell doom for her if the fandoms and media catch wind of what's going on. Will the unexpected feelings that bloom between them survive when scandal after scandal—and furious fans and antis alike —threaten to tear them apart?

The throne is threatened as Thalisse, a humble village on the outskirts of Apharoth is attacked. Since the king had no heirs, there was no one left to save the royal family from being overthrown. In desperation, the king declares Gairoshi, an ancient practice where the next king will be selected through a series of duels. Bold men from all around the world flock to the center city to participate and try out their luck in this tiring and grueling competition. As different characters gather for this prestigious event, from the nobles, mighty men, people from the shadows, and down to the Thalisse victims, they cross each other's paths and fate reveals that there is more blood to Gairoshi than they expected.

Ashton Johnson is a formidable presence, a person who refuses to be controlled. With a strong will, unwavering resilience, and complete accountability, this twenty-two-year-old billionaire alpha male navigates his extraordinary life with ease. Every day brings a flurry of adoring fans, transforming a simple lunch into a chaotic spectacle. By afternoon, his face is plastered all over the internet, capturing the attention of millions. From the moment he was born, Ashton's life was destined for fame and recognition, thanks to his prominent family. He is the epitome of American royalty, carrying the weight of his lineage on his shoulders. However, his world takes an unexpected turn when he is assigned a new bodyguard, someone who will be with him around the clock. This is when Ashton comes face-to-face with his worst fear: being paired with a tattooed, MMA-trained professional who is notorious for disregarding rules within the security team. As if that weren't complicated enough, this bodyguard also happens to fulfill one-third of Ashton's deepest desires. Lennox Burke, twenty-seven years old, has a singular duty: to protect Ashton Johnson at all costs. Anything beyond the realm of strict professionalism, such as flirting, dating, or engaging in intimate encounters, is strictly forbidden and could lead to Lennox's termination. However, when unexpected emotions begin to surface, the task of safeguarding this stubbornly alluring celebrity becomes increasingly complex for Lennox. As their paths intertwine, the boundaries that separate them start to blur, and the consequences of their growing connection could be catastrophic for both of them. The risk of exposure looms large, threatening to upend their lives in unimaginable ways.

[This year I will make friends, this year I will find a boyfriend, and by the end of this year, I hope to be a virgin no longer] Bullied without friends her entire life, Alice Grey hopes her college time will be different. She wishes to start over and make friends. But her hope shatters when it appears Nathan Douglas, her bully for six years, will attend the same college. Nathan Douglas is a promising future NHL player. His fans expect him to be picked up fast, but Nathan isn't sure if a hockey player career is what he wants. He is a complete player on campus and finds pleasure in teasing Alice Grey for being a virgin. Her embarrassment is his delight. But Nathan soon runs into a slight problem—every night, Nathan experiences super realistic dreams where Alice is his future wife. Due to his dreams, Nathan begins to see Alice in a different light, but is there a happy ending when you catch feelings for the person who fears you more than death?

Timothy Yeager is the sole successor of Caelumis, the most powerful force of Efral. He has billions of dollars in inheritance and countless subordinates! On this day, he returns to civilization with the marriage contracts his mentor has set for him so he can keep his promise and protect his fiancées. However, as soon as he gets home, most of his fiancées call off their engagements to him. "Do you think you're worthy of marrying someone from the Barton family when you're so useless?" "How can the daughter of the Lynde family marry a peasant like you? It's a humiliation to her!" "Today, we're gathered here to annul the marriage contracts with a loser like you!" "You're dreaming if you think a peasant like you is worthy of marrying any of us ladies!" Amidst the insults and mockery, an icy voice rings out. "Since all five of you are annulling your marriage contracts with him, I, Mavis Jefferson, shall accept it." Timothy looks in her direction and his heart clenches. It's her!

Adina Daugherty became pregnant after being framed and gave birth to quadruplets. Her younger sister stole two of those children to tie herself to the Winters family, while Adina faced death to escape with the other two children. Five years later, Adina returned triumphantly. Since her sister loved pretending to be pure despite her rotten heart, she would torment her. As for her other two children? She would snatch them back! Duke Winters pinned her against the bed and said, “Why don’t you steal me as well?”Adina sneered. “Dream on!”But right after saying it, she puked. “So… how many children this time?” Duke asked.

Breanna Wilson is a club stripper at night and a psychology student by day, joggling both lives to get a good education and pay her bills. Maxwell Caines, an ex national boxing champion turned psychology professor, is the youngest and hottest Professor in the entire university. A huge ladies man. Appears with a constant frown and talks like he owns everybody. She thinks he's a sad, angry, meddlesome man. He thinks she's a rude and arrogant girl that makes terrible life decisions and needs therapy. Both lives entwine when Maxwell catches her, one of his most promising students working at a strip club. He helps her get a job after witnessing the brutal death of her brother and a romantic relationship brews between a student and professor. Will their relationship stand the test of time when she gets kidnapped by familiar people and his job is threatened?.