example of critique story

He’s the alpha king, my crush, my guardian. And he’s 20 years older than me. ** “How old are you?” “T-Twenty,” I bit my lower lip, stuttering on the lie. “I’m an adult.” I trembled but turned my head, allowing him to drag his nose along my neck and breathe in my scent. I didn’t know what I smelled like to him. Did I smell like I was lying? I held still. He shifted just a bit, seemingly retreating, and I flung my arms around his neck, holding him down. “Please, Alpha King,” I said. My voice trembled even as I tried to sound sultry. “I’m… sure I can please you.” “Do you know what happens when you lie to the Alpha King, little girl?” He knew. I should have known that he would know I wasn’t twenty. “You seem so deliberate, but I’m not interested in your offer. How about we play a game?” “A-A game?” He narrowed his eyes and gave me a slow, cruel smile. “If you win, I’ll grant you sanctuary.” My eyes widened with a spark of hope. “But if you lose….”

"I agree to this but that's as long as you do not poke your nose in what I do." "You have the deal!" The man chuckled in his husky voice while raising his hands in a surrender gesture. "But You need to agree to my side of conditions too." He stepped forward and whispered in her ears, his hot breath tickling them, yet she did not waver one bit from where she was. "I did say I will agree, didn't I?" Sherry maintained a calm and composed look on her face as she confronted him head on. She placed her hands on his collar and pulled him forward until they were at the same eye level. "Mr. Smith!" She whispered in a low voice like how he had done before. 'Hah...This woman is really good at driving me nuts...' Levian knew this was going to be a challenge for him. ................................................................... Sherry was a bright child that everyone loved. Her foster parents her step siblings and her friends. Everyone loved her and spoilt her. But she dies on the day of her marriage just as she was about to get her makeup done. A disease?? No?? On that very day her fiance is at hospital but not for her but because he is about to be daddy...... Sherry unknown to all this except the fact she was poisoned by her bridesmaid rebirths a day before her marriage. In this life she takes different options but then ugly truth about everything starts to surface. What would she do when she realizes everything was fake?? And a mysterious man appears out of nowhere and says as long as she marries him he would even wipe out whole of the city that made a fool out of her.

I am a normal human. When I realized that my werewolf boyfriend lied to me about being my fated mate, I got drunk and had a ONS with my hot new neighbor. It was the best sex ever, but I ran away the next morning because he is also a werewolf, which means he will also meet his REAL fated mate one day. Unexpectedly, I saw my new neighbor on TV, and he was actually a famous hockey star who publicly announced that he will only admit to an official relationship with his fated mate... Host: “Many of your fans want to know if you are still single...” Him: “No, I am not.” Him: “I’m about to start a relationship with my new neighbor...”

I was the illegitimate daughter of Alpha Kris of Dark Moon. He raped a human slave 18 years ago and that was my mom. I became a disgrace and a shame to my family. They punished me and locked me up in the basement all day except to let me out to complete my daily routine as a slave. Yes. I looked like any common slave of the pack house. No one would expect me as the Alphas's daughter. As a hybrid, I hadn't been able to shift, but I could hear their thoughts. It's not a good thing though, for me, it's a nightmare. Most of what I've heard were my half-sisters' curses and insults. "CLAUDIA! Hurry up and get in here!" I knew Elly was going to scream my name long before her shrill voice echoed out of her room and into the hallway where I waited. This was the daily ritual, every afternoon. She would call for me, and while she sat at her vanity table, I brushed her long hair like a servant to her satisfaction. No one would guess she was my half-sister, nor Maria in the other bedroom...

Fiona, a perfect Luna, is left heartbroken when she discovers her fiancé has cheated on her. In an impulsive act of revenge, she orders a call boy for a night of wild passion. As the sun rises the next morning, she leaves cash behind and slips away, believing she's had her sweet revenge.Little does Fiona know, her life is about to take a jaw-dropping turn when she finds herself pregnant after the passionate night with the call boy. Amid the turmoil and crisis of her unplanned pregnancy, she accidentally crosses paths with the man from that fateful night. However, the man who stands before her isn't just any call boy, but the future Alpha King—her fiancé's boss.Her heart races as she gazes at the powerful figure towering before her. The Alpha King smirks, cornering her with an air of dominance and desire. Raising an eyebrow, he taunts Fiona with a question that sends shivers down her spine: "A call boy, huh?"

After a one night stand, I opened my eyes and found a naked handsome man lying next to me. He was the last Lycan. According to the rumors, the last Lycan went crazy every full moon. He could only be tamed by having sex with a virgin werewolf. Every pack sent virgins to sacrifice to the last Lycan, and I was the chosen one. Before he woke up, I escaped quietly. But it's strange how my wolf became more powerful! Could sex with a Lycan make me stronger?! --- The Lycan was a wall of masculine muscle behind me. His body heat scorched me even through my wedding dress; his breath seared the shell of my ear as he leaned closer and whispered, "Mate..." If the last Lycan was the Devil, I thought I might want to go to hell. --- When I rescued the last Lycan from his cage, I never thought that one day, I would be put into a cage by him.

“เดี๋ยวๆ พี่จะตามทำไมนักหนาเนี้ย ไม่มีงาน มีการ ทำกับเขาหรือไง” “ไปเดตกับฉันก่อนซิ” “พี่จะบ้าหรือไง จะชวนสาวไปเดตแต่มาตามบังคับเนี่ยนะ!” “ก็อยากไปเดตด้วยไง” “โอ๊ย!!! จะดึงเปียหนูทำไมเนี้ย! เจ็บนะ” เมื่อหญิงสาวไม่ยอมหยุดเดินหนี หนุ่มมาดขี้เล่นแต่ออกทื่อๆไปสักหน่อยก็คว้าเปียสองข้างของเธอดึงให้หยุดเดิน “อยากไม่ยอมหยุดเดินทำไม” “เชื่อเขาเลย! ดูหน้าหนูด้วย แว่นหนาขนาดนี้มีอะไรให้มาสนใจไม่ทราบ หล่อซะเปล่า” หญิงสาวผมเปียใส่แว่นเอ่ย “เธอฮอตจะตายไป ฉันเห็นตอนเธอถอดแว่นแล้ว” “พูดอะไรของพี่” “คอสเพย์สัปดาห์ก่อน” “!!!!!!!!!”

"ฉันก็ไม่รู้ว่าทำไมยังรักเธอ ทั้งๆที่เธอก็ชอบหนีฉัน" "นิวก็ไม่รู้ว่าทำไมยังรักจักรคนเดียว ทั้งๆที่จักรก็ใจร้ายมากเหมือนกัน"

3 years ago, I faked a pregnancy to steal half a million dollars from my mate. I felt as if I didn’t have any other choice as I had to pay my brother’s ransom or let him die. Now, I would rather die than spend another day being treated with icy, bitter resentment. My name is Rachel Flores and I rejected my alpha mate because I’m ready to live, not just survive! *** "Who are you?" I came awake with a jerk, disoriented and aching all over. A heavy male body lay beside me---we were both naked except for the sheet covering our bodies. Embarrassment stained my skin bright red. I searched my memories of the night before, trying to figure out how I had gotten here while attempting to wrap the sheet around my body. I stopped when I realized I'd leave my bed partner totally nude. My skin felt too hot and too tight as I tried to work out how to get myself out of the situation. I wasn't used to being around naked men even if I was a werewolf. We cared about propriety no matter what humans thought! I remembered myself saying over and over, "I'm your mate!" I eased myself off the bed to look for clothes. I tried to be as quiet as I could so I didn't wake up the stranger. I didn't take the sheet to spare his decency, instead sacrificing my own modesty: I'd rather be caught naked than have to face a naked man I'd evidently seduced with all the subtlety of a bitch in heat! His scent was all over me, all over everything really. Rich and masculine...

“What’s wrong, Jane, can you not feel me?” Ethan demands, slɑmming his into mine so I feel sure he’ll leave a bruise. “Am I not giving you hard enough?” Still I don’t respond. All I can do is imagine him with Eve, kissing and making lóve to her, giving her all the things he used to give me. I can see their writhing bodies in my mind’s eye, tɑngling the sheets of the Alpha’s bdd. It makes me feel sick to my stomach to know my husband was with the other woman mere hours ago, how does he even have the energy to use me this way when Eve was pleasuring him all night long? *** My husband seeks nothing but to claim me as roughly and thoroughly as he possibly can - and remind me of my proper place. This is what I have to look forward to: a lifetime of pain… unless I finally do what I’ve been planning over the last few months, and ask Ethan for a divorce.I didn’t even know it was possible for an omega to leave an Alpha until recently. Legally, we have almost no rights, but I could request a divorce. Now it is the time. *** Ethan and Jane were childhood sweethearts. However, he is alpha and she is omega. It was almost impossible for them to be fated mate. Ethan did not give up but chose Jane to be his wife and luna. But Fate sure knows how to run with a bit. This young couple messes up their first marriage by lack of trust. Divorce is easy. But what about finding out you were pregnant after divorce?What if you had quadruplets?