dirty tagalog jokes

"Don’t worry, Sister," Lorenzo says. "Our dirty little secret is safe with me. Infact, it is already forgotten. It wasn't even that memorable. Just a few lousy sex." I gape at him, not wanting to believe the words coming out of his mouth. This isn't the Lorenzo I knew. It's like he changed to this cruel bastard standing in front of me. What happens next is out of character. It's like someone takes over my body and controls me. I don't even think about it, I just act. The slap I give to him across his face lands with a crack that draws the attention of passersby who murmur and point at us as they pass away, probably wondering who the crazy bitch is. I back away from Lorenzo in horror, my now throbbing palm held in my other hand like I just touched a hot pan. Lorenzo brings a hand to his cheek which is now spotting an angry red color and stares at me in shock then he laughs, the sound bitter and cutting through the still night's air. "When did Little Miss perfect get feisty?" He drops his hands and eyes me, a leering look in his eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to dump you." He rubs his jaws, still eying me. "Who knows, you might have brought this attitude to bed. It would have definitely made things more exciting." I hate him so much.

Him. Watching someone from afar and fantacising about them is seen as something extreme right? But for me, it's not. Especially when she should have been mine in the first place. Mine to hold, mine to love, mine to cherish and mine to keep. One silly bet, one silly bet and i let her slip out of my grasp. I've been waiting ten years and just like that one bet, I'm waiting for one opportunity. Although she belongs to another but when I get that opportunity, i'm never letting her go again. Even if i have to take her by force. Her. I made a one time silly mistake with a stranger but I am in love with another. After that, eveytime he comes close, i am tempted to give him all of me without holding back. Surely one more time wouldn't hurt right? It just has to be our dirty little secret.

Some bad girls need a steady hand to keep them in line. I'm bad enough to need two. Two old men can teach me a lesson when I misbehave. Two hot bodies to keep me warm in bed at night. Two best friends can learn to share with a dirty mouth kid like me. After all... dirty girls need very dirty dads. Anna Josephine is nothing but trouble. She's wild and tough. Not worth anyone's time. Anna is a beautiful little girl. She is also a vulnerable young man on my case list. She is half my age and has absolutely no limits. I broke every rule in the book by giving her somewhere to stay when she was out on the street with nowhere to go. And I'm breaking all the rules of friendship by locking her up at my best friend Jack's house while he's away on business. I thought life was hard enough when I fell in love with the girl, but it got even harder when Holmes came home early and discovered a beautiful stranger was causing a ruckus in his house. And it's even harder when he has a crush on her too. He is the only man on this planet with whom I want to share my last supper. I'm happy to share that. I'm not sure how I feel about sharing Anna.

Bianca has finally planned everything in her life. Being an orphan from birth, she has always felt that her future is an uncertain universe. However, with Richard's help, her caregiver has managed to define the goals that will lead her to cling to the security she craves. But fate, as always, plays bad and dirty, because she is kidnapped when she accompanies some friends to the Scarlet Moon club, at the hands of a handsome and mysterious boy named Kieran, in the company of his friends who worship him as if he were a god. He takes her to a pack of werewolves and decides to claim her as his own, while being stalked by the alpha of the rival pack, Einar, who is the cause of all the suffering in his life, this being his own father. Bianca realizes that her whole life has been a big lie that has made her the fugitive of the alpha. A turn of events, a macabre plan, war threats, constant danger and a torrid romance frame Bianca's new life now and nothing will ever be the same again, having a heavy load on her hands, just like everyone's fate.

“Rule No. 1 – sex is off the table” He looked at me, a certain darkness clouding his eyes that only brewed lust and desire “Don't worry doll, I'm not going to touch you, not unless you beg me to” Five years ago, Helena De Luca is divorced by her husband, Dante D'angelo, when his high school sweetheart returned and claimed his heart. Now, Helena’s back, not for rekindled romance but for survival. Her family's empire is under siege, and the only way to protect it is to strike a dangerous deal with the man she once called her own. Dante agrees to help—but there's only one way: a fake marriage. Helena's reluctance turns to desperation when the rival gangs close in, forcing her to accept. She sets one rule—no falling in love. The stakes are high and complications arise in the form of Dante's manipulative cousin Matteo, who's determined to tear them apart to have Helena for himself no matter what it takes. To make matters worse, Dante’s first love is back, determined to destroy Helena's life and claim Dante for herself. Their worlds entangle, a dark sinful attraction festering between Dante and Helena and getting caught in a dirty game of lust, dark desires tainted with betrayal and manipulation. Would Helena be able to withstand the demands of falling for a man as dangerous or would she give in to the pressures of those who want them apart?

“Do you understand that you'll ruin my mission? You claim to care about me! Well, this isn't the best way to show it!" I spit the words through gritted teeth.“First, I don't give a fuck about you. Secondly, you did the exact opposite of what I told you to do. Oh, and there is more, I can destroy your life in a split of a second, and make it a living hell. So think about your attitude before opening your dirty mouth.” His rumbling voice affecting my confidence.

"You'll fit in just right, Kelani. The kids here are as special as you are." "No, they are different." "You don't know how special you are at the moment, but you will soon enough, and thus, the school survived this long because of your birth." At only nine years old, Kelani killed her father, was cast into the dark, dirty basement by her stepmother, and was left to repent for all her transgressions by everyone in her household. Kelani endured bullying and scorn, and just when she thought it might not end, she received an invitation to Mystic Academy, known as The Academy for Freaks. Kelani believed all her problems would be solved when she arrived at the Academy, but that was just the beginning. Love came in various forms for Kelani, and there were three she desired the most. However, she couldn't possibly be mated to three powerful werewolves who also had their eyes set on her, could she?

I'm just a wolf-less omega bitch and a fuck-up Cromwell that's descended from a dirty rogue. No wonder my pack and my own mother... think I'm the one that killed my father. But, I didn't... kill my father. I wound never kill him. He was my only friend in this pack. The only one I could relate to. I had no friends... I only had my dad. And, since I only had him... when he was gone I had no one. So, I spend my lonely hours dedicating my life to studies. I graduated early from High School with an outstanding GPA. But, even that never impressed my mother enough. So, When it came down to it... My mother didn't hesitate to accuse me of my father's death. Her hatred for me was unspoken until that moment. The moment she caught me pulling a knife out of my father's chest. It was buried in deep. And, when I got it out... I heard her horrid scream. One that was dramatic. I was forced to break eye contact from my father's corpse to see her standing on the kitchen's edge. Her hands on her cheeks. A gray and sickly color caked on her face. She could have fainted any second. "What have you done?"

"Did you really kiss the Alpha?" Gary asked me and turned to the man bathing in the darkness. "Is she the one you were telling me about?” "Yes," he coldly said and turned around, walking away. "Please," I begged, crying. "Alpha Asher, please. I'm sorry for what I did. I didn't mean to, please forgive me.” I begged, crying profusely and Gary looked at me, pity flickering in his eyes. "Please, Alpha. Let's help her. She could be useful to you one day,” he suggested and Alpha Asher stopped in his tracks. I almost shot Gary a dirty glare. What did he mean by useful? I didn't leave my pack to come here and serve another fucking Alpha! The Alpha I kissed at that! I was about to ask what he meant by useful but the pain in my leg reminded me of what was at stake. To serve him for a while and then be free, or to die and not be able to do anything again. "Useful?” Alpha Asher asked, breaking my thoughts. "Yes, yes. I'll do whatever you want. Just help me, please. I don't want to die." I begged. "Anything I want?” he asked again, smirking. ”What could this man be thinking of that's making him smirk?” I mumbled to myself, trying to distract myself from his attractive lips. ”Answer me, woman. Would you do anything I want?”

Ashley is a simple Omega, who loves her family more than anything. Ashley's parents want nothing more than to get their daughters settled and mated with their business partner and childhood friend's younger son, Damon. Damon on the other hand, rejected Ashley without even looking at her and insulted her parents. Ashley becomes furious but what makes her even more shocked is that, after three weeks she received a very shocking wedding proposal by Damon Williams himself, but why did he want to marry her, after rejecting her in very first place. Damon William a successful businessman lost his mate/wife Adira years ago. After her death, Damon became like a dead person. He got himself very busy with his work. His family wants him to move on and live his life again, but Damon knows he can't love another person. He only loves his Adira. That's why he rejects he reject Ashley. But what happens when he sees a girl who looks exactly like his late wife and even her Omega scent is the same as his Adira , is destiny playing some dirty game with him? "What's your problem, you already rejected me once, now for God shake stop stalking me. I don't want any relationship with you." Ashley screams at the Alpha male who is stalking her like a crazy lunatic. "No, I can't leave you alone and you can't reject me either, I want to marry you. You are mine only MINE." Said the Alpha male scream. After knowing the truth of Adira and Ashley face, he become even more crazy. "What the hell Damon, with all these paper's?" Damon smirk as he came near his newly weeded wife. "Welcome to my Golden Cage love."