dark funny jokes

I Drew Kizmet, Future Alpha of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by reject you Jewel Stuart as my Mate and future Luna of this pack... (He smirked and looked down and me).... I stared directly into his eyes and said.... "I Jewel Stuart of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by accept your rejection... Am I free to go now Drew? I'll be late for Chemistry".... I turn and head to class and I can feel his eyes as well as other students eyes on me as I make my way through the halls and into class... **Jade I know you took the blow of the rejection for me are you okay?...** Yes Jewel I'm fine, just need to rest for a bit..** Okay, thank you for doing that, take your time and rest, I'll check in on you later..**...okay! Later!Jewel was a warrior, the first daughter of Laura and Jaxon Stuart who where 20th generation warriors in their pack. Jewel naturally grew up tough and rough as a fighter which made her a bit of a tom boy but her family loved her and she them.Drew Kizmet the first son and next in line for the Alpha Title of Crescent Blood Peak Pack, His parents Alpha Dustin and Luna Kristen Kizmet are just, fair and strong leaders who intend to pass down their titles once their son finds his mate and go traveling, do things they where unable to do during the years.Lets find out how things play out for Jewel and for Drew.

Elena is sold by her family to a man who is after her inheritance she has no knowledge about. She knows nothing about her past and who she really is. When she gets help from a stranger to flee from her captive she has to leave everything behind and forget about her old life she had. Living on the run and trying to stay away from being found. Her world suddenly gets turned upside down when she seeks shelter in a new town and her eyes land on the dangerously good looking mafia boss with eyes that can pierce a hole right into her soul. Everything that she knew she question when he crosses her path and shakes up her world. Could he be her savior when she is haunted by the man who bought her or is he her heart's destroyer when the truth about who she really is gets revealed?

Rosaline died, and Sean personally put Jane into the women's prison for it. "Take good care of her"— his words made her three years in prison a living hell and even cost her a kidney. Before she went to prison, Jane said, "I didn't kill her," but Sean was unmoved. After her release from prison, she said, "I killed Rosaline, I'm guilty as sin!" Sean was livid as he said, "Shut up! I don't want to hear you say that!" Jane laughed. "Yes, I killed Rosaline Summers, and I did three years in prison for it." She escaped, and Sean scoured the whole world for her. Sean said, "I'll give you my kidney, Jane, if you'll give me your heart." But Jane looked up at Sean and said, "I don't love you anymore, Sean…"

Lauren's life is turned upside down when her chosen mate of ten years leaves her for his fated mate. A mate who had rejected him for a more powerful alpha With her arrival back in their lives, Everything is stripped from Lauren leaving her with nothing. Feeling broken and dejected she leaves, unable to bear the consuming pain of betrayal. Circumstances force her back and she finds an unlikely ally in Alpha Sebastian. A man who is both feared and Revered. A king without a throne, he rules both the human and wolf world. He is also her ex mate's nemesis. Theirs is an unusual union. He's too cold and she's not his type. Love is not in their agenda. So why does she get a thrill when he calls her his? and why does he look at her like she's his salvation? Turns out their enemies are the least of her worries. Not when the real danger is in the fire that ignites between them. The fire that could set them a blaze in love and passion or destroy them. Note: This book is a two in one. Book 1: The Alpha And His Contract Luna Book 2: The Alpha And His Chosen Mate

This book is authored by izabella W. "Mate!" My eyes bulged out of my head as I snapped up to regard the guy who is obviously the king. His eyes were locked on mine as he began to advance very quickly. Oh great. That's why he looked familiar, he was the same guy who I bumped into only an hour or two before hand. The one who claimed I was his mate... Oh... SHIT! *** In a dystopian future, it is the 5-year anniversary of the end of the earth as we knew it. A race of supernatural creatures calling themselves the lycanthrope has taken over and nothing has been the same. Every town is split into two districts, the human district, and the wolf district. The humans are now treated as a minority, while the Lycans are to be treated with the utmost respect, failure to submit to them results in brutal public punishments. For Dylan, a 17-year-old girl, living in this new world is tough. Being 12 when the wolves took over, she has both witnessed and experienced public punishment firsthand. Wolves have been domineering since the new world and if you're found to be the mate of one, for Dylan it is a fate worse than death. So what happens when she finds out she not only is a lycan’s mate but that lycan happens to be the most famous and the most brutal of them all? Follow Dylan on her rocky journey, combatting life, love, and loss. A new spin on the typical wolf story. I hope you enjoy it. Warning, mature content. Scenes of strong Abuse. Scenes of self-harm Scenes of Rape. Scenes of a Sexually explicit nature. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

The protagonist of this story is a young adult fan of classic dice role-playing games; suddenly the protagonist awakens in a world of magic and fantasy in the body of the final Boss of a magical castle; Accompanied by his loyal Generals, the protagonist will experience the greatest adventure of his existence using the title of Witch-king as his middle name.

“Applologize to daddy….” Dante muttered softly into her ear and Elena quivered her pussy waiting to be filled by his cock. “I am sorry for being a bad girl Daddy... Please take me.” she cried sexually frustrated. After bumping into a stranger unapologetically and flaring up instead of apologizing, Elena meets with the consequences of her action a week after the resumption. Their physiology teacher has just been changed and Elema being the class representative was assigned to submit some paperwork to the new professor, not only did she barge in to meet him wanking off, he turned out to be the man she had unapologetically humiliated the other day at the mall he sent her out of his office promising to make her pay in all ways possible. He makes her pay for her action by offering her a C instead of the usual A and the only way to change his mind is to sleep with him, after one sexual action, both professor and student have neglected the rules by drenching themselves in the taboo act unable to resist the sexual desire that existed between them. With so many obstacles hoping to rip them apart what becomes of them when Elena finds out that there is more to Dante than being just a professor.

“You shouldn’t have disobeyed me, Hazel.” His voice came out hard and husky and she thrived at the soothing undertone that sent chills down her spine, her pussy, already gaining lots of wetness. “I am sorry Daddy, baby girl needed some alone…” she tried to explain, but his next action shut her up. He flung her over the bed like she weighed nothing, her face pressing into the pillow, while her ass positioned into the perfect doggy style he craved for. “I am going to punish you so fucking well, momma. I am going to fuck you hard till you no longer feel your legs, momma. Hazel gulps down the hitches in her throat at the thought of his 9 inches-thick, cock riding her tight cunt, to pleasure. Without any warning, Hazel felt his dick tearing throw her, as he made one rough thrust. “Oh my fucking goodness….” her words trailed into a moan, while his hands found the most adore part of her body, her waist, Pulling her backward, he began to thrust hard, and with each thrust, he got rewarded with moans that made him want to do more! Hazel had just gained admission to her favorite university in the city of Washington, she is forced to live with her father's most trusted young friend all in the name of protection. Hazel eventually finds herself in the bed of the man she claims she hates, the one who is to protect her from the outside world, after one foreplay, Hazel and Axel refuse to keep their eyes off each other. However, it didn’t end up as just a Lustful feeling. Will their love stand the test of time, in a world where fans criticize whoever goes intimate with their idol?

If you don't find your mate by the age of 18, you will be forced into slavery. Your fate is decided by The Alpha King. My name is Brinley James, I'm 18, and due to rejection: I am mate-less, or I should say... Slave No. 508. BOOK ONE AND TWO OF THE ALPHA KINGS SERIES. Book one - The Alpha King's Slave, Book two - Return of the Banished Alpha King BOTH BOOKS CAN BE READ AS STAND ALONE

Dark is the leader of the most dangerous criminal organization in the world, his scope is unmatched, if he wishes he could have control of it. But it is limited to dominate it from the shadows, in the dark. Which will be strangely illuminated with the arrival of an ordinary girl who will attract the attention of one of her enemies, who kidnaps her to make her his wife. Fate unites them once again, when their paths cross again, he decides to save her, captivated by her beauty and her beautiful green eyes, he does everything in his power to go after her, unleashing a war that will not only take him to know love but also put him in the path of an enemy who has been on his heels since he was just a child, involving them in a bloody and cruel fight to live.