dad joke pick up lines

People hope not to date an abusive partner but wouldn't it be worse when you are already married? She was used, abused and stepped on. All hope was lost and she vowed to only live for the sake of her children, no more hiding in the shadows of others ...Work hard and repay. Meet Eleana Osas, a single mom of two who vowed to get her revenge on her ex husband and shun all men. What will happen when she cross path with the soon to be biggest boss, Shawn Dele, who is handsomely mysterious. Will he be able to untie the knot in her heart or would he make her hate men more? Curious? Then follow up and don't forget to add it to your library. Anticipate!!!!!......... Excerpt: "So you vow to never love, never be with another man? Is this the kind of control he has over you?", Shawn asked feeling waves of emotions; anger, disappointment..... "It's the kind of control I have over my self, I will never, ever submit myself to any man again, never", Eleana replied, gritting her teeth in anger, not directed at Shawn but herself - she only spoke those words because she need him to let her go, else she fall more than she already has..... Seeing as Shawn didn't reply, Eleana walked past him but Shawn was having none of that, he turned around and grab her arms, pulling her closer to him making sure she could feel his breathe on her neck as he whispered mischievously. "Are you so certain you will be the one submitting and not me? Hmmm?". His words rang warning bells in Eleana's head as her legs went wobbly under his teasing and nearness.... Oh god! She swore, when she felt his lips on her earlobe.

Audrey has a crush on her best friend single father, Mr. Knight from a young age. She didn’t dare to tell him because Knight had always taken her as his daughter because of the huge age gap. At her 18th birthday, she finally had the courage to confess to him but shit hits the fan as she finds him kissing her sister. Feeling betrayed she heads off to college and tries moving on until he comes finding her…and this time he isn't willing to back down.

My father's adopted daughter was only locked in the cramped storage closet for around fifteen minutes, yet he punished me by tying me up and throwing me inside. He even sealed off the ventilation with towels. "As Wendy's older sister, if you can't take care of her, then you should also experience how scared she was," he declared coldly. He knew I was claustrophobic, but my desperate pleas for mercy, my terror, were met with nothing but heartless reprimands. "Let this be a lesson on how to be a good sister." As the last sliver of light disappeared, swallowed by the oppressive darkness, I struggled helplessly. A week passed before my father finally remembered my existence and decided it was time to end my punishment. "Let's hope this week served as a good lesson for you, Jennifer. If this happens again, you will no longer be allowed in this house." He would never know that I had already taken my last breath in that suffocating room. My body had begun to rot in the darkness.

One reckless night. One unexpected baby. Two men who might be the father.Darcy never saw it coming..literally. A cryptic pregnancy leaves her blindsided when she wakes up in a hospital bed with a newborn in her arms. But the real shock? Her daughter's father could be one of two men. Cassian Dempsey; the cocky, troublemaking bad boy from the wrong side of town. Elias Mercer; the ruthless, untouchable golden boy with a fortune to his name. Both are her brother's best friends. Both were never supposed to touch her. And when they find out the truth, neither is willing to let go. But the biggest scandal of all? The DNA test comes back with an impossible result... They're both the father. Now, caught between secrets, temptation, and two men who refuse to back down, Darcy is in deeper than she ever imagined. Because some betrayals can't be undone. And some men won't take no for an answer.

The last thing Miranda thought when she responded to a prison pen pal request was to find true love. Joel, well, he was only hoping to pass time and maybe if he was lucky, he'd find someone to have a little fun with after doing ten years of hard time in the state penitentiary for a crime he committed when he had just barely turned eighteen years old. He had been hardened by the things he'd seen and the experiences of imprisonment and no longer believed in lovey dovey fairy tales or happily ever after. So hardened in fact, that he knew women only led to one thing-trouble. Not even a good girl like Miranda would break him ever again. Not with her long dark hair, those hypnotizing amber-eyes, and definitely not those full lips that would look so good…nope, nope, nope. What neither one expected was to find the perfect balance of emotional and physical attraction. Can Miranda's persistence and commitment soften and heal Joel's untrusting heart or will Joel break Miranda in ways she has never experienced before? This is the first book of three in the Locked-Up Lovers series. Enjoy!

Sneak peek: "W-what are you doing?" I asked, my breathing getting heavier as his warm fingers inched towards my bikini bottom. "You called me a coward earlier, remember?" He asked, his other hand wrapped around my throat and lips torturingly brushing over mine "So let's see how much you can handle if I break the boundaries." "I haven't said anything wrong," I breathed out, the collision of the heat of our bodies made the wetness between my thighs build more "Oh really?" He hooked my legs around his waist leaving me surprised I opened my mouth to say something but before any sentence could leave my mouth, sliding past my bikini bottom his fingers were there on my bare clit and the next second they thrust inside the very tight hole of mine leaving me to scream. But everything went silent as he pressed his hot lips upon mine just as I had been wanting since the first day I had ever seen him. **** I always knew the things I felt for Jacob Adriano were wrong in so many ways. He was my dad's best friend, totally out of bounds but I couldn't stop wanting him. And once in the event of my dad's destination wedding, I came across him after years...I lost every one of the boundaries I had and surely I planned to make him lose his ones too. After all Jacob Adriano, the sinfully attractive Italian was not unaware of my obsession with him. But little did know that forbidden relationships always bring havoc and demolition.....

“I hope you don’t loose those who truly value you because you can’t come down to hear them.” Those were the last words he told me before stomping out of the house, leaving me cold, empty and more lonely. ______ Cassandra Heathingways wasn’t your average girl. She was rude and picky, spiteful and proud. And she had every reason to be. She was the only heir to the Heathingways throne, and even though she lost a lot on the way, that was enough to keep her going. Not until her father broke the news of her marriage to the Hudson heir. Will the stuck up and proud bride be able to change her ways for the sake of the marriage?

For three years, Heidi served Lucas with all her heart, showering him with endless love and doing her best to be the perfect housewife. But on their third wedding anniversary, he slammed the divorce papers on her face. "Did you think I would never know that you married me because of money? Whatever Grandpa paid you, I will triple it. Just sign the divorce." To him, she was just a gold digger. Heidi's reality shattered, and everything made sense when she found out that his Ex had returned. For him, she endured hardships and humiliation. She not only gave him her heart, but also dropped her identity as the wealthiest heiress in Phoenix City. Realizing that all her efforts were futile… She will never be the hopelessly desperate housewife anymore. Lucas is soon to know that he "Shouldn't Mess Up with His Hidden Heiress Ex-wife." As layers upon layers of secrets get revealed, he'll be crawling on his knees, holding her leg and begging her to come back. No way! She has an empire to inherit.

"You were going to be my father-in-law." This is messed up. Gripping my chin, he kisses me. "And now, I'm your plaything, someone you call daddy and get pleasure from. No one will know. Stop thinking about others, or should I stop?" he asks. Ruby, finds her fiance cheating on her, he mocks her and tells her he used her to fool his father into giving him his inheritance early. Ruby's friends suggest she makes a s*x list, which she does, and one night, she is forced to go to her ex-fiance's fathers place to get some of her items she had left there. Only, Alaric, her ex-fiances father has no idea they have split up, and is genuinely shocked when he sees the listed that Ruby created, and one moment of madness, turns into a secret affair between them. Book Two: My four brothers raised me from a young age after my parents death. Their friend Grayson had always lived with us, and I hated him. He seemed to get pleasure from telling my brothers things about me. That all changed, though, when I watched an explicit movie with him, and later found him in the shower pleasuring himself while whispering my name. My brothers will kill him, they may even kill me, but we can't stop ourselves. Something about this been forbidden, makes it so much better.

"Im going to kiss the next person that strolls through those dorrs." ....................... It was only meant to proove a point. A tactic to show her friends that she was not so uptight. But Jacquiline should have known; she should have expected dire consequences that came with kissing the incredible hot handsome stranger that walked into the caffe that morning.   The kiss created such an uproar on the internet that she was now being paraded as the billionaire's mystery girlfriend, the first woman Enzo Harnandez had publicly shown off.  Forced into a contract marriage in a bid to silence the media, Jacquline plans flee as soon as she acquires enough money for a fresh start and her fathers mdical bills.  What Jacqueline doesn't expect however are the feelings that begin to stir up in the process of this fake marriage. What happens when she learns that the devilishly handsome Enzo Hernandez is smarter and even more shrewd than she made him out to be.  .............. "Oh princess, I'm a tad disappointed that you thought you could fool me," I heard him say coldly as he cornered me. "I've known all about your plans from the beginning. Now… strip and touch the bed frame. I'm going to fuck some sense into you."