crude jokes

Leyanne Cruden is a very old yet powerful witch in present day who is dissatisfied with the world as we know it. An immortal who stopped ageing in her late twenties. She has lived through so much and lost so many that it has jaded her personality and she no longer knows if she is good or bad. A vision leads her on a purpose to find an awakening hunter who threatens the existence of all supernatural beings. Like her he's young, immortal and everything that can destroy her. His creation was purely for the purpose of wiping the earth free of supernaturals. To prevent this tragedy she must assemble a coven of mixed creatures and figure out how to avert the destruction of magic before it's too late. They do say that sometimes the one thing which is the worst for you is the one thing you want the most - Dante Torres, a hunter with the ability to end her life. She will need to let people in if she has a hope of succeeding, as even a witch as powerful as her can not do it alone. With a collection of supernatural characters, love and heartbreak.

[ DARK ROMANCE 21+ ] "W-What are y-you doing here..." Her soft voice lets out in quiet shock. He enjoys that dulcet melody of her feminine voice, as he closed the door behind him, bolting it without looking away from her. Fearfully, her gaze trails behind him at the door before connecting with his again. She grows rapidly angered. "Get out of my room!!! How dare you?! Get out!!!" He suppresses the urge to chuckle at what he perceived as her adorable fury. Instead, he manages to grasp it with a deviant smirk. “Not unless I get what I want..doll face." "I'll scream!" She bellows, her hands clutching at the duvet around her. He strides forward and grabs the smartphone sitting atop the dresser in front of her bed. He easily slips it over the top of a high shelf, far from her petite reach. Then he turns to her and replies smoothly with a hint of derisiveness. "Scream all you like, princess...I've given the entire staff a day off.." She stares at him with the briefest of puzzled looks, and he finds her incredibly adorable in her contemplation. He felt his arousal increase and the next words fell huskily out of his mouth. "It's only you and I..ALONE.." Her innocent tourmaline eyes lock with his fervent sapphire ones. "W-What d-do you want ?" Her frightened voice barely above a whisper. His eyes rove over her figure in a degradingly suggestive manner. He provides a crude answer. "Why, of course to fūck you senseless, kitten." her face drains of color as she stares at him in repleted horror. He was unfazed by her stiffened posture and frightened expression. All he could do by his eyes was drink in her natural beauty like a man who'd gone days without water.

Shane is my best kept secret. The more time that passes the tighter my hold on him gets. If my father thinks he can take my right to find my mate from me and sell me off to the highest bitter than he's got another thing coming. I'll take what I want and give the only thing he thinks I have of value to whoever I choose. And who do I choose? I choose Shane. Adea is the air I breathe. I won't let anyone come between us and I won't let the Moon Goddess try and decide who she gets to be with. Whether it be her father or destiny, no one will get in my way. Fate? Mate? These words mean nothing to me. No one wants us together, but the jokes on them, I'll decide my own destiny. Adea Biscoff is that destiny. In a new life where the curse has been broken, can everything unfold how it was supposed to? Will the star-crossed lovers finally have their chance? What happens when Shane remembers everything, but refuses to make the same mistake again? The tables have been turned and Shane realizes who the real villain has been all along. What if in this life, Shane demands she be the one to pay? ! Sexual and physical abuse may be triggering for survivors !

Missy moves to a small town in Northern California after walking in on her boyfriend in bed with someone else. The picturesque cottage she bought outright isn’t as picturesque as she was promised. She is forced to hire the only contractor in town to make it liveable, even though she can’t stand the man and his rude and crude remarks. Adrian Brewer is a single father, fighting for his parental rights for his daughter, and doesn’t need another woman to bring more drama into his life….but there is just something about Missy that makes him tease her like a little boy with a crush and has him wishing for more. When Adrian makes repairs to her new home, can he also help repair her heart? Can she repair his in return? When their past comes back to ruin what they started building together, will the foundation of their budding love be able to withstand the storm? Will Missy let it all burn down? If it does, can Adrian build it back up?

When nerdy but cute, Miranda Whitmore's parents decide to move to a place called Howling Cliffs, she is not happy. But there's nothing she despises more in this small town than Nigel Vanderwolf, the hot jock who happens to be the son of the man Miranda's family is staying with. The two bump heads continuously, with Nigel's crude sexual jokes and relentless mockery of her virgin status and Miranda's snappy rebuttals and ability to annoy him constantly. But one night after a dangerous game of Truth or Dare, Miranda becomes lost in the woods where she gets trapped in a cave because of a thunderstorm. Feeling guilty of his part in Miranda's disappearance, Nigel sets out to find her. He stumbles on the girl he finds the most annoying, sheltering in the Forbidden Cavern. The two ensue in a heated argument, disturbing the God that resides there. After Nigel takes Miranda home, the two decide to never speak to each other again, thus going their separate ways, only to wake the next morning to find themselves in each other's bodies. Now Miranda has the upper hand because she has finally learned Nigel's secret. Her neighbour and bully is a werewolf. What will Miranda do with this newfound information? Will she expose to the world that the supernatural is real? How will Nigel cope with this magical phenomenon? Will he be able to switch back in time for the great Alpha Trials? Follow Miranda and Nigel in this epic tale of enemies to lovers in the Werewolf Switch.

"How dare you keep my son away from me?!" "You rejected me and didn't want to do anything with me!" "I will reject you all over again to punish you for this!" "Jokes on you if you think I care about your rejection anymore." ___ Delilah was the contracted bride of Alpha Stephen Knight even after being his fated mate. Losing her parents at a young age was hard enough for her and getting brutally rejected by her mate was the last straw for her. She left with dignity and vowed to never turn back. But what happens when her past comes back to prove destiny once again? Stephen Knight never wanted anything to do with her but was that going to change when he sees her after years? She has changed but he hasn't. He is still the same heartless man. In the game of lies, revenge and pain, they will discover truths that's going to shatter their lives. Will Delilah find Stephen beside her or will he break her heart once again?

Once in a while, in the middle of life, love gives us a fairytale.And some fairytale love stories are completely unexpected and thus more memorable.No one expected the class president and the leader of Trouble Triggers to even talk about anything but notes and pencils. But then fate's a bitch and loves to meddle!Their life changes drastically when the good girl- Joanna Williams has to tutor the bad boy- Bryan Cooper.Along with the tutoring comes constant fun, too much bickering, lame jokes, scary sarcasm, idiotic friends, too many unknown emotions, jungles in tummy, bucket lists, unheard secrets and haunting pasts.Maybe some fairytales don't have a happy ending... or do they?

In order to clean the dirt, one has to dust it off with his own hands. Genelia Fernandez is one rude woman with arrogant charms. Wrapped up in royalty, her life was all messed up. Alejandro Garcia, the crude throne holder of Garcia’s was Genelia’s soon to be groom. It was all the result of a silly child betrothal! Her life belonged to him not even knowing a bit of him, all she ever heard about him was cruelness. How do you think will this marriage treat the both? "Delicate as fuck yet dangerous as hell, what really are you woman?” “Trust me you would've been dead long ago if not you have had interested me so much. Consider yourself lucky my darling cause you're my bride!”

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

#mutual contain 18+only "you should go to the other room" he said She looked at him in shock its there first night. He was nervous and open his mouth to say something. After a while, he said "your father makes a deal with me that if I marry you he will give me half of his property. My company is in loss and I don't want to marry you coz I am not interested in you, you are not my type.i feel disturbed when you are around me!" It is all he said to her. She got up from bed and a hot tear escape from eye and she left his room. She did not said a word to him. *************************** Roya knight-she is good. Age=22 educated and shy in nature. She is rich but she is also black in color. She never wear something so revealing. Simple and always smile. And she is tall, slim, perfect body, and her eyes is most attractive. She has every good thing but only lack of personality is her color. Johnson Robin - He is handsome. Every girl dream about him. He has well built body. He has blue eyes and white men. He is men of his word. Age=27. He run huge business and he has so many girlfriend. Content and /or trigger warning :This story contains mature sexual content. Strong language ahead, adult jokes also. Which may trigger for some readers. You have been warned