corny filipino jokes

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

#mutual contain 18+only "you should go to the other room" he said She looked at him in shock its there first night. He was nervous and open his mouth to say something. After a while, he said "your father makes a deal with me that if I marry you he will give me half of his property. My company is in loss and I don't want to marry you coz I am not interested in you, you are not my type.i feel disturbed when you are around me!" It is all he said to her. She got up from bed and a hot tear escape from eye and she left his room. She did not said a word to him. *************************** Roya knight-she is good. Age=22 educated and shy in nature. She is rich but she is also black in color. She never wear something so revealing. Simple and always smile. And she is tall, slim, perfect body, and her eyes is most attractive. She has every good thing but only lack of personality is her color. Johnson Robin - He is handsome. Every girl dream about him. He has well built body. He has blue eyes and white men. He is men of his word. Age=27. He run huge business and he has so many girlfriend. Content and /or trigger warning :This story contains mature sexual content. Strong language ahead, adult jokes also. Which may trigger for some readers. You have been warned

[WARNING: This story contains mature themes with profanities, hardcore graphical explicit sexual situations, and others. Strongly recommended for 18+ only. Otherwise, read at your own risk.] Jack was still a child when his father abandoned him to Marianne, his lovely and caring stepmother. Through the good and bad times, they only have each other. But what if Jack suddenly admits that Marianne is the only person he wants to be with and love forever? A forbidden love that overflows like magma, so intense and hot that it burns with every touch. How will this kind of love survive in a world full of uncertainty, temptation, and mistakes? What if there are people who constantly try to keep them apart? Jack once told Marianne, "I don't give a damn about anyone. I want you to be mine! And it's fine with me if our love for each other burns me. Just want me and love me until the end, I am more than willing to be burned to death." Can their love last all the way to the end? NOTE: This is an English translation of a Tagalog story with the same title and author. The author wishes to apologize for any errors in vocabulary, spelling, phrases, or other translation issues found in this novel. In the future, this book will be further edited and polished to make it more suitable for English readers. For the time being, please enjoy it and don't forget to leave comments or feedback. Have fun reading! (The Tagalog/Filipino version is also available in this app).

"Stop right there, Evan! You can't fool me." Grace stretched out her hands to the right and left, preventing her best friend from leaving. "I know you're hiding something." Evan crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be so confident. And please, know your place. I have the power to replace you with anyone else." He leaned toward her and whispered to her ear. "Or, are you trying to seduce me? How much is your rate for one night?" Upon hearing it, Grace gave him a smack across the face. She was silent for a moment in disbelief. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You're so mean, Evan. I-hate-you," she said, heartbroken. She turned away from him without further ado. Evan teared up too, looking at his best friend leaving. "I'm sorry, Grace. I had to do it. We can't be together," he said weakly. Grace and Evan became best friends after he saved her and her mother following a traffic collision. Their friendship grew stronger for years until they became inseparably fond of each other. However, fate played jokes on them. They had to separate for years, lose contact and bury their dreams. When they finally reunited in the same workplace, everything was not the same as it used to be.

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eva Vergara is an orphan, craving love and family. She vowed to have a complete and happy family of her own and to never let anything tear her family apart. Then she met Jack Dizon, a charismatic young man with a promise of love and a happy family. But what if her prince charming was an evil incarnate? How can she survive for the sake of her only daughter? Will she have the guts to leave? Marcus Sullivan, Jack's childhood friend. A first-hand witness of Jacks evil. Marcus's sister died because of physical abuse from her husband. Marcus blamed himself. So he saves Eva and promised to love her. Can he keep his promise? Or is it just another nonsense? Norman Rosebush, a Filipino doctor from the states. He decided to come home after his wife cheated on him with his closest friend. What if Norman and Eva's path crossed? Can he save Eva from drowning in pain? Will he successfully show her that life is still worth living?

It’s all fun and games until a body washes up…. Beth Monroe just wants to make it through the summer baseball season without being the constant target of her brother Shane’s jokes, but he is relentless, and she’s ready to lock herself in her room and hide. Until the new girl shows up. Halley appears in small town Barryville like a ghost. No one knows where she came from or anything about her past, not even her last name. When she gives Beth a piece of unsolicited advice that, “It’s what’s on the outside that counts,” Beth changes everything about herself. By the time Beth realizes she’s becoming a monster, it might be too late, and Halley has already sunk her claws into Beth’s best friend Ryan—who might’ve been something more if Beth had opened her eyes a little earlier. As Halley’s past catches up to her, Beth realizes there’s more to this mysterious girl than she realized. Can she stop Halley from revealing her true, monstrous nature to Ryan before it’s too late?

"What do you mean. I have to marry you?"I asked as he faced me with a very dirty glare. "You'll just have to accept it missy". "What if I don't?"I asked folding my hands underneath my breast. "Then you'll have to pay me the money you owe me" "But I don't have such money " I whined. "Then face the consequences. You'll get jailed"His thick voice sent shivers down my spine. "You said it's just a few months stuff right?"I asked taking my eyes down to the ground. "A year to be precise" Well I'm Brianna Salvador and I just landed myself in huge trouble. I didn't mean to break his car. I just got angry so I hit it so hard with a rock and it broke. Brianna Salvador is a half American and half Filipino, she's out to make ends meet and prove to her parents that she can also become independent but when she gets herself into a huge problem she's forced to get married to an Italian demigod Diego De Lucas. Is an Italian business man out to take what belongs to him. He's inheritance is siezd by his grandmother and the only way to get it back is if he gets married and begins a family. He meets Brianna in a very odd way and decides to marry her to get his fortune back.

She is a free spirit, trapped in a bird cage of death, danger and despair. Little Alessa has always known one thing above all- she was born to be the perfect Principessa of the Cosa Nostra, the Italian Mafia. She was urged to smile when asked to, laugh even when the jokes were anything but funny, charming to all who were allies. She was perfection incarnate...well, that's what they think. They know nothing of her wild abandon, of her plans to be anything but the perfect princess, royalty of a world dredged so deep in blood, she choked on it. Her plans to run were absolute...well, until HE came along. The mysterious Pakan-a Don like her father- shielded by the shadows that he ruled from. He was the anomaly that she least expected. He destroyed her plans and she hated him for it. So why then does her heart beat so fast when he is near? Why is he the one she thinks about before she sleeps? Why does she so long to see him when she's sad? She wanted the freedom, the life beyond the shadows and explore the world. But Emerald colored eyes, cocky smirks, rough hands, cigarettes and darkness were starting to look a little more appealing...