clean jokes for adults

Being the mutt loathed by your Alpha family, you were forced to take your pregnant sister's place in the ruthless Lycan king's bride selection. To survive, you tried to escape, only to crash right into his muscular, towering frame. Everyone thought you were dead for sure. But wait, you're not just his mate?! You also look exactly like his beloved ex-wife?!

My husband searches for doctors everywhere to cure me of my stomach cancer. I think he loves me to the core, but after I recover, he takes away my left kidney to save his true love, who's been comatose for two years. He leans down to kiss her as I watch. "She owes you this; I've finally made her repay you. You'll definitely get better after this." What he doesn't know is that I'm already weak from the cancer. I die after he takes my kidney. That's when he goes crazy. He breaks down in tears and screams at the doctors. "Didn't you say she wouldn't die?"

Jamie is a lonely girl running from monsters of her nightmares. Desperate, she disguises herself and becomes the only girl in an all-boys boarding school. The problem? in the mysterious and formidable Ironcrest Academy, she is not the only one with a secret identity … but more? Will her true identity be safe, and can Jamie survive the training to uncover the mystery of what killed her family?

“I'm not just the vampire king of tales, Ellie. I'm a talented artist.” Vanchure said with every stroke he made on the canvas with his paintbrush. “So you can either be the one posing on my couch, behind the canvas, or be the one whose blood I will use in replacement for paints.” In a mystical world named Shirlon, there was a division of two powerful mythical creatures, two great kingdoms, with two great rulers. Speaking of which were the Black Pack, the werewolves, and the Thorx Coven, the vampire with the respect of law and order. These two kingdoms had a ball of symbiosis where they worked hand in hand to maintain their stable world. The werewolves were considered as the soldiers, the ones left to do the tough and dirty jobs within both kingdoms. While the soldiers had the day and night to themselves, the vampire blossomed in the dark. The vampires were also known as Royalties. They've been known to have ancient riches, making them superior to the soldiers. In these two kingdoms, they had their kings. Eamonn, Alpha of Black Pack, and Vanchure, king of Thorx Coven. They had maintained the order of peace and had always set their boundaries between each other until Ellie came along. Ellie was born of the soldiers, just a commoner that the Alpha of her Pack proclaimed as a mate. Ellie was set on a path to rescue her missing sister from the hands of the vampire king, Vanchure. But on her first encounter with that handsome devil, her whole life takes a different turn.

Limang buwan na ang nakalilipas ay ibinenta ni Hanna ang katawan at naiwala niya ang pinakaiingatang puri. Isang malaking pagkakamali ngunit kailangan niya ng pera upang maipagamot ang kapatid. Namasukan siya bilang dyanitres sa pinakamalaking kumpanya sa kanilang bayan. Hindi niya akalain na ang lalaking naka-one night stand at ang CEO, ang bilyonaryong si Charles Ethan Rodriguez ay iisa! Inalok siya nitong magpanggap bilang girlfriend. Pumayag siya dahil bukod sa sobrang gwapo at matipuno nito ay babayaran siya ng malaking halaga. Paano kung sa kasunduan nila ay umibig siya sa mayamang binata? Ngunit parausan lamang ang tingin nito sa kanya habang hinihintay nitong bumalik ang babaeng tunay na minamahal. Hanggang saan siya magtitiis para sa lalaking walang pagtingin sa kanya? Hanapin kaya siya nito kung isang araw ay bigla na lamang siyang maglahong parang bula?

Blurb: Artemis Vincent's life was pretty much bad before but as if the universe wanted to make things worse her father, mother and died in a car accident, leaving her alone in their house not long she is sent packing by the landlord as she could no longer fend for herself. Artemis started to hustle even just to eat. She goes to a restaurant one day, sees a gold watch, and steals it. Unknown to her the gold watch belongs to one of the most powerful men in California. When Artemis is caught, she is given a choice. Rot in jail or be the mistress to this powerful and utterly ruthless man.

Charles Dominique Williams, Mr. "Falling in love with your best friend is unacceptable," deals with his ex-best friend 3 years after he rejected him. A messed-up destiny plays with them one more time. But this time, Charles' ex-best friend would not accept no for an answer. Hopefully, at this moment, Charles might finally give them a chance, only if it is not too late for them.

The day my ex finally made it big, the doctor told me I had less than three months to live. On TV, a reporter was interviewing James Larson. “Mr. Larson, what drove you to success?” James chuckled, but his eyes were misty. “The biggest push? Probably when I was diagnosed with kidney disease eight years ago, and my ex walked out on me.” “I’m grateful she didn’t marry me. That was the wake-up call I needed.” After the interview, he called. “Amelia Simmons, I made it. Do you regret it now?” I rested a hand on the spot where my kidney used to be and let out a bitter laugh. “I do. And I have cancer now. Happy?” James sounded satisfied. “Serves you right.” He never knew—I got cancer because I gave him my kidney all those years ago.

"There will come a time when this ugly and cruel fellow will bow at my feet and feel honored to be in the same place as me, breathing in the same air as I'll be doing. You wrote this?" asked Alpha Benna. Kiara remained silent. "I want to hear it from your own lips, Kiara Yezus. Do you want your life to be ruined? I'll have you tortured to the extent that you'll beg for death." He meant it. In this mind-gripping novel, Kiara Yezus, after escaping her cruel father's clutches, wages an epic war with her new alpha, who bought her as his slave. While running for her freedom, she stumbles upon a ruthless Lycan prince. "Bear me a child, Kiara, and I'll turn your dream into reality." He proposed a deal. Will Kiara be able to bear an heir to the Lycan and get her freedom? Find out! You can read my other books as well. Rejected (Completed although abandoned halfway) Luna Returns (Completed) The lycan series consisting of two books Book 1: Banished by Her Cruel Alpha King(Completed) ; Book 2: Vengeance on the Cruel Alpha King (Ongoing)

"Melina, my dear," The alpha king declared as he entered the chamber, his voice rich with authority. "The time has come for our union. I would like you to disrobe." In the face of such a demand, Melina stood her ground, her voice unwavering. "I, Melina Haephastus, refuse Your Majesty," she stated firmly as she walked gently backwards. A palpable tension hung heavy in the air, as the king's countenance contorted, a display of surprise mingled with frustration. He strode purposefully towards her, his narrowed eyes fixed upon her. A derisive chuckle escaped his lips as he advanced. "Refuse? You dare to reject the authority of his highness, Melina?" Drawing upon an inner strength, Melina met his gaze, unyielding. "I am more than a mere vessel for an heir, Your Majesty," she asserted, her voice ringing with determination. "I am an individual with my own hopes and aspirations. I will not allow myself to be reduced to a mere breeder." *** Melina, once the niece of a rebel leader who had dared to conspire against the Alpha King in league with outsiders, now found herself a captive within the opulent walls of his palace. The King deemed her the perfect candidate to bear his heir, a role that sought to firmly ensnare her in the machinations of his reign. Against the backdrop of political intrigue and deceptions lurking within the shadows, Melina was faced with a formidable choice. Would she succumb to the shackles of her predetermined destiny? Or would she rise above, unraveling the truths concealed by the threads of conspiracy, and forging her own path? Follow Melina's journey as her determination pushes against the constraints of societal expectations and unveils a web of hidden truths.