Accueil / Werewolf / The Tyrant alpha / Chapitre 261 - Chapitre 270

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259

A flash of irrational ire heats my cheeks. Would he let the crone bandage his wounds?“Where’s Darragh?” I call over to Una where she’s returning things to a shelf.“I’m not sure,” she says. “When I finish with this, I’ll find out, okay?”I nod. I don’t need to haul myself out of this bed to find him. Everything is okay now. This dread is just an aftershock from what we went through. I make myself breathe and focus on the room.At least a dozen females are clustered among the empty cots, whispering in worried tones, casting me sympathetic glances. Haisley and Cheryl’s concern is an obvious put-on for show, but the others seem genuinely upset. I wouldn’t have guessed anyone beyond our cabin would be that concerned. Their red eyes and noses make me feel weird.Where was this show of concern when I was little, and my mom was gone, and I needed to not be alone more than anything else?But they wouldn’t have been allowed to gather like this, would they? Not in Declan Kelly’s time.When I w
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260

I jerk my chin. I don’t like that she knows my mind, but she’s right. I don’t want to owe her anything.“Your mate and I aren’t lovers, you know.”My heart drops, but I’m such a physical mess, I don’t think it shows.“I mean, back in the day, once upon a time, we, uh, were known to make the beast with two backs on occasion, but that was many years ago. At least, uh—” Her brow wrinkles, and she looks at her fingers. Is she counting back?“I don’t need to know.” I feel sick.She shrugs a shoulder. “Probably not. You were a pup. It was very casual. Very much two ships passing in the night.” She pauses like I’m supposed to say something. My eyes burn.“Yes. Well. That’s all better left unsaid.”Please, let her shut up.She takes a breath and plows on. “But there are things you need to hear, and even though I’m much more hopeful now that things will, er, sort themselves out, I’m not inclined to” —her mouth twists in an odd smile— “to trust in Fate, as it were.”“I don’t know what you’re ta
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261

“But the story I’m going to tell you happened long before Killian became alpha.” Abertha’s gaze drifts toward the ceiling like she’s calling up an old memory. “It was the winter we ran out of heating oil right before that bad blizzard. Darragh would have been nine. His sister, Iona, would have been fifteen. That full moon, their father, Cormac Ryan, had lost his challenge, and his entrails were still settling in Declan Kelly’s stomach. Declan, of course, didn’t waste any time sending the new unprotected female to his basement. A warning to any male who considered doing what Cormac had done.”My stomach hurts. A sour taste floods my mouth.Abertha lowers her gaze to meet mine. “And of course, Iona’s brave little brother fought his way down with nothing but his pocket knife to bring her back up again.”My torn nails dig into the bedsheet.“He was outnumbered, but he was as fierce then as he is now. He put out Declan’s second’s eye. As the story goes, he came a hair’s breadth from the al
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262

Abertha sinks back in her chair, speculation in her eyes. “What did he do?”“Gave me a human’s head.”She bursts out in a cackle. “Well, that’s an auspicious beginning.” She sobers. “I wish I knew how to fix a broken wolf, but I don’t. I do know it’s foolish to think love will do it. Or wishful thinking.” She leans forward and seizes my gaze, her brief amusement gone, replaced by a hardness that sends shivers down my spine. “Don’t go near his wolf in your human skin. If his wolf kills you, he won’t survive it. Do you understand?”I jerk a nod. I wish she would leave. I get it. She knows him. She knows his past. I don’t. He might have claimed me, but he can never be a real mate to me.We went through hell together, and it won’t change anything. Our mating was made impossible years before I was even born.When I don’t say anything, Abertha collects herself, rising from her chair, smoothing her skirt.“I’ll tell him you’re feeling better. You didn’t want the healing,” she says.I stare p
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263

“Seriously?” Madog Collins is as close to a king as North American shifterdom has. He’s an institution, and a canny, vicious motherfucker to boot. I can’t imagine anyone taking him out. I wonder if Abertha’s heard anything. She was born to Moon Lake pack, and she keeps a place there. There seems to be no love lost between her and Madog, though. She spits every time she has to mention him by name.“I guess the whole plan for a united shifter nation under Moon Lake is a bust.” Killian smirks. “What with Madog M.I.A., and his own pup founding a new pack. It’s anarchy now.”“You like to see it,” I say.Killian nods. “You do.”We stand for a few moments in silence, listening to the murmurs of the females and the nighttime animals taking up in the woods surrounding this cluster of cabins. I neither scent nor hear anything that doesn’t belong, but my nerves don’t unwind. They can’t. I can’t see Mari, and there is a raw pain flowing through the bond. Abertha’s supposed to be healing her.I sh
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264

I stare at the infirmary door as the females filter back inside to watch over my mate. I’ve never felt so lost, and my wolf has never been so restless, tetchy, and inscrutable.The question is kind of moot—I’d never hurt Mari to avoid pain myself, and it’d hurt her if I walked away.But how can I keep her safe if I stay when I have this beast inside me?There are no answers, and I can’t be here anymore, standing around, ruminating about shit I cannot and never have been able to change, and wishing shit was different than it is.I clap Killian on the back. “You’ll stay here?”He eyes me. I keep my face carefully blank.He nods. “When I need to go, I’ll have Lucan and Fallon guard her.”My wolf growls. Killian raises an eyebrow. I swallow the sound, jerk a nod, and set off into the woods where late evening shadows are gathering.14MARIAfter I sleep for a few hours and wake up stiff as a board, Una and Cheryl agree that I’m recovered enough to leave the infirmary. Kennedy and Annie he
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265

I know which one I want. I know how quickly and irreversibly my foolish heart has pinned its hopes on him. And I also know how many times in my life fate has broken my way.I open the glass door, my heart speeding like everything is riding on this next moment, like I’ve got no hard shell left, like I’ve shed whatever resilience I once had, and now I’m raw and pink and exposed.There are twice as many males in the lodge as were gathered outside. Some are on laptops and phones, some sitting or hovering as if they’re waiting for orders. Up on the dais, someone has pushed together two tables, and a dozen males surround it, gesturing at a huge map.Darragh is up there next to Killian, talking to two males in black suits. A harsh chemical scent assails my nose, and my stomach churns. Humans.My wolf growls as my claws extend, snicking through my fingertips. Darragh’s gaze flies to mine. My pulse skids to a halt.Without a second’s hesitation, he stops mid-sentence, steps down from the dais,
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266

I’ll be Mari, the lone wolf’s rejected mate.My stomach sours.“Want to go somewhere?” Darragh asks when the door of the lodge shuts behind us.“Yeah.”He takes my hand to lead me across camp and blood roars in my ears. Is he taking me back to the guest cabin from the night we mated?But we turn off past the commissary and up the path to the garage, and I calm down, but not entirely. My wolf is on edge, too, pacing our boundary, whining.It’s late in the afternoon, and the sun is lower in the pale blue sky. It’s a perfect fall day, yellow and red leaves rustling, air so clear that the caws of crows ring out like bells.When we get to the garage, Liam’s there as usual. He gives me a wave, but instead of wandering over like he usually does when I come by to borrow a vehicle, he hangs back by the truck he’s working on.Lucan and Fallon followed us from the lodge, and unlike when they escorted me earlier, now that I’m with Darragh, they hang back, too.I can actually scent their unease. I
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267

“You knew then?”His jaw clenches. “I stayed away.”I crane my neck to check out the top of the treehouse. It’s mostly hidden by leaves, but the very tip top clears the canopy, and above a white cupola, there’s a copper weathervane, tarnished green, and where there should be a rooster, there’s a mermaid, her tail pointing east.It’s everything I would have loved back then. Before.I don’t know what to say if I don’t want to cry.I approach the hanging rope ladder. Darragh holds it taut so it’s easier to climb, but I’m still short of breath by the time I reach the first platform. I sit on the edge, dangling my legs over, to catch my breath. Darragh lowers himself beside me.We’re silent for a while. Up this high, I can pick out the lodge’s roof and some of the more exposed cabins in camp from the fall foliage. In the far distance, the steeples of the churches in Chapel Bell rise into the washed out blue sky.Lucan and Fallon’s vehicles are parked down by the shack, but they’ve made the
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268

On the far side of the bed, there is a stack of boxes. The instant I see them, my eyes prickle, my heart lifting like a balloon. They’re mine.I sink down on the floor, cross-legged, and take the lid off the top box, already knowing what I’ll see.It’s like a time capsule, everything as neat as I packed it. The embroidered wall hangings I traded a human woman for at the farmers’ market, one with every species of North American butterfly, the other with every variety of wild mushroom. The dried flower crown that Annie made me for my sixteenth birthday. My teacup and glass perfume bottle collections.A hot tear overflows my lashes as my hands hover over my old treasures. It doesn’t feel like stuff I had a few years ago. They feel like artifacts from a lost civilization, the me before I got older and wiser, the me that knew things I can’t remember now, but wish with all my heart I could.With cautious steps, Darragh crosses the room and squats so we’re on a level, the box between us.“Yo
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