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All Chapters of The Tyrant alpha: Chapter 171 - Chapter 180

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169

My nerves are on edge. If I weren’t stiff as a board and freezing to death, I’d be jumpy, but as it is, when I hear the faint step or skitter of rock, I clutch the quilt tighter and try really hard to think about anything other than the fact that I’m all alone, no one knows where I am, and I’m practically human.And it was all my decision.The first one I’ve ever made, and I guess it was the right thing to do—no one is coming anywhere near my baby out here in the wilds—but in the day-to-day, I traded misery with company for night terrors, boredom, itchy skin, and a Pandora’s box of shitty feelings that I can’t open—I can only smack it with a metaphorical stick every time it rattles around in my brain.I hate Cadoc Collins.I hate what made him, and I hate what he is, and I hate that unlike Brody Hughes or Geralt Powell or his father, he doesn’t look and act like a villain, so you let your guard down.I hate that I’m such a cream puff that I went “la, la, la” and threw myself off the m
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170

“Go away!”Finally—finally—he slowly folds the jacket and places it in front of me on the ground.Then he digs in his front pocket and pulls out a white square. A cloth napkin. I recognize it. He sets it on top of the jacket.He reaches behind his back and takes out my slingshot, laying it carefully on top of the pile. It’s the one I lifted off Danny when he ate the cookies I’d hidden in the freezer. The one Cadoc nicked from me that day in the library.My tears stop from sheer surprise.He doesn’t know how you’re supposed to do it—maybe he doesn’t even know what he’s doing—but he’s giving me his markers.“I’m never going to leave you again,” he says as if that’s the final word, turns and walks back to the fire where he squats and pokes it with a stick.I realize my mouth is open. I shut it. The fever that came over me seeps into the cold ground and my sobs fade into hiccups. I rest my back against the Airstream step.Cadoc messes around with whatever he’s doing like I’m not over here
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171

“And fuck you,” I add, clambering to my feet and tripping over his nice, warm jacket. I scoop it up and shove my arms in the sleeves. My fingertips don’t even clear the cuffs. “You better be out of here by the time I come back out.” I stomp to the trailer. “You don’t think I’m much, but my wolf could kill you like that—” I snap, stepping into the Airstream and slamming the door. It’s so lightweight, the snick is totally unsatisfying, and I burst into a fresh bout of tears.I stumble straight for the mattress and accidentally crash flat on my stomach, landing on my achy boobs. I shove my face into the cold sheets until I can stifle the sobs. I’m not crying over this asshole. Not one more tear.It takes a minute, but eventually, I’m not lying to myself. I flip onto my back.What’s he doing now?I strain to listen. There’s no sound.Is he already gone? Or is he sitting by the fire like he has nowhere he needs to be?What the hell is he doing here?I made a choice. Between what and what?
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172

I head north. After a beat, Cadoc catches up and matches his pace to mine.I lead the way along a ridge which eventually descends into a ravine. We follow that until it veers east. I keep going north, picking my way up a steep, rocky incline. On the other side of the crest, there’s a wooded valley that I haven’t explored yet. I’ve marked it C4 on the grid. I’m kind of cheating—map-making as I search. I haven’t found anything good, yet, so switching between foraging and sketching makes the days slightly less tedious.“What are we looking for?” Cadoc asks when we pause at the top of the hill to catch our breath.“Ashbalm, dragon’s tongue, wolf’s bane,” I tick off the big three. I don’t want to make conversation, but it’s not the worst thing walking with him.No matter how slow I go, he stays by my side. If I stop, he stops. What’s really strange is that his company is somehow familiar, not that I know him—I don’t know him at all—but our steps somehow match.I bet my wolf recognized that
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173

I pluck his notebook from his hand and thumb the pages. “This is gonna get wet. You need a good coated paper. I got this from Mrs. Dee. She uses it to print her resume. See how I taped a few sheets together so I can do a few square miles per map?”Cadoc bumps my upper arm. “You’re holding it for her?” His lips are soft and curving slightly. Tentatively. It’s a joke.Do I find it funny?I’m toting around a bag of hurt—and tummy bloat and more aches and pains than I’ve ever had, even hungover—which makes me not want to find him amusing in the least.But on the other hand, it’s sunny, even if it’s cold, and I have company, even if he’s probably trouble, and I hate him. He’s dangerous, but I feel safer, and it’s disorienting, but also an improvement over the past few weeks.I decide to take a joke.“Nah, I stole it.” I give him big owl eyes.A crease appears on the bridge of his nose. I don’t think he can tell if I’m teasing or not.I take pity on him and let the corners of my mouth sneak
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174

“Well, uh—” He jerks his head in the direction we came. “We should, uh—”I let him lead, and I don’t make a crack about the tent he’s got in his pants. I wonder if it was the word ‘tits’ or ‘naughty bits’ that did it. Or the idea of a towel bath.Was he picturing it?The bond flows a little faster, a little more sparkly.I feel my insides warming, and it makes me nervous, so I pick up the pace, push myself until the walking is work. Cadoc matches his stride to mine.I don’t want to get lulled into a false sense of security again, or whatever it’s called when you know you’re in for a world of hurt, but you forget to brace yourself.I can’t afford it.Cadoc casts a worried glance down at me.Again, it’s not any different from his default face, but the fact that he looks down—and the subtle shift in the bond’s flow—makes it read worried.I don’t see what he has to be concerned about. He’s out here finding himself or whatever, but I’m sure the minute he turns back up at Moon Lake, everyon
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175

“Alban would exile us. That’s the best-case scenario. We’re rats to him. He hates us.” I’m piecing it together now. I’m seeing. “You have to go back.”“No. There are more than two choices.” He raises his head, and for once, his inscrutable face doesn’t look empty or hard—it looks unflinching. “You have to trust me, Rosie.”“No, I don’t.”“Trust me, Rosie,” he says again, his voice lower, a deep whisper.“Why should I?”“Because I understand now.”“What do you understand?”“What’s important.”He’s too calm. The future’s unfolding in my brain, as clear as if I did have foresight. A Hughes as alpha won’t hesitate to demolish the Bogs. They taunt us every day with what they’ll do to us when they have the chance. My lungs seize. There isn’t enough air in this den. I scramble to my knees.Cadoc reaches a muscular arm around my middle and draws me gently but unhesitatingly between his legs, holding me with my back to his chest. He’s so strong, his grasp so unyielding, I don’t struggle for lo
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176

“Stew.”He spins it to check out the label. “Beef.”My stomach does the gurgle it does now when it’s not sure whether it’s hungry or queasy. It’s been a long day. I follow him into camp, and I don’t fuss when he lays out his jacket for me to sit on and applies himself to lighting the fire. He gets it quicker this time.“Do you have something I can heat this in?” he asks.“In the trailer.”He bops inside to get it like it’s nothing—like Nia or Bevan or Pritchard would. Like it’s his territory.He’s like that everywhere I’ve ever seen him, even on those solstices when he toured the Bogs with his parents. He strode the boards like they belonged to him, and I guess they do. Or did.He comes back out with my huge cast iron pot and sets himself to hacking open a can with a pocket knife and cussing under his breath.“So what are you now if you gave up being the heir apparent?”“Same as I always was. An alpha with no pack.” He doesn’t look up from his task. There seems to be a lot of stew dri
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177

Eventually, he rubs his scent on the edge of the mattress and retreats to lay in front of the closed door and watch me.I swing to lay on my belly, heels in the air, and I watch him back. He yawns, his pink tongue unrolling. I rest my chin on my folded arms.We consider each other.My wolf is pleased that he’s here. She circles once, twice, flops down, and promptly falls asleep.My body’s tired, but my brain’s still chugging.“What are you doing here, eh?”He lowers his muzzle to his front paws.“We’re going to have a pup, you know. If you’re not in, you should go now.”His tail lazily thwaps the linoleum and then curls in a C shape.“We’re going to need a better set up. Running water. Pups make a huge mess. You’re gonna have to hunt for us. I won’t be able to shift, and the pup needs fresh meat.”His ears perk. In one fluid motion, he rises and jumps his front paws up to the kitchen counter, nosing open the cabinet and emerging with his fangs sunk into a bag of jerky. He walks it ove
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178

Cadoc’s lips compress, and he shoves his hands in his jean pockets. “According to my parents, Broderick Moore made the momentous decision that we would no longer live like animals, prey to the elements, threatened by human encroachment and discovery. He had the foresight to understand that to survive, we needed to be more human than human, or they’d wipe us off the face of the earth.”This all sounds vaguely familiar, like a lecture I daydreamed through in history class.“So that’s what happened?” Broderick Moore must have had a silver tongue. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave here. Even empty and cold, it feels like a nest. Well built. Right.“That’s what they say.” There’s a sharp note of cynicism in his voice.“It’s pretty awesome. It’s got a sunroof.” I smile up at him. I don’t know why, but I don’t like the hint of bitterness in the bond. He’s obviously questioning what he’s been told since birth—and Fate knows he’s been fed a steady diet of bullshit—so of course it’s gonna throw h
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