I stayed there for close to one hour, and by the time I left, my eyes were puffy and my throat dry. Talking became painful for me. I drove back to the house, while Dashiell returned to wherever he had in mind. He knew I needed a moment to myself, and didn't strike up any conversation with me. He just let me be. At home, I left the kids with Mara and retired to my room, so I could cry to my heart's content without being disturbed. I plopped down on the bed and closed my eyes, letting everyone wash over me. …. I took a leave from work to avoid being bombarded with questions. I looked like a zombie. My eyes were bloodshot, and the dark circles around my eyes were alarming. Having stayed up all night, thinking back to the precious time I spent with Mama Kaka, I barely had sufficient rest. I slept at the crack of dawn, but it wasn't enough to soothe my soul. After I had my bath and an ice cream, I felt good. Even though the weight of Mama Kaka's death was still there, I felt lighter.
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