I did not dare leave that bathroom. I wrapped my son in a gown and settled in a corner, him patched to my chest. In my head I kept playing the scene of me nudging Hendrix and grabbing Blue. The guilt did not lower and it felt as if I would die from it. It did not allow me an ounce of sleep. The sun rose and the smell told me Blue needed a change. I pushed up, my body aching as if I was run through by a truck. I filled the tub with water then attempted to undress Blue on the closed toilet seat. It was then I realized I had nothing with me. It was then I realized I had no diapers, I had no clothes for my child or any of his toiletries. Everything had been left back at home. The realization left me drained. What was I going to do? I did not have a single penny on me and even if I did, how would I buy the things I needed? I pushed up, hands on my waist, staring down at Blue in defeat. No one said motherhood would be so hard. Storm’s words echoed in my head but I pushed them away. When
Last Updated : 2025-01-25 Read more