All Chapters of The Depth of Fate: Chapter 11 - Chapter 20

It’s been 3 days since Simon went back to Vermont and I returned to work. I try to keep myself busy with my patients, hoping to distract myself from what happened while he was here. I crossed a line with Simon that I shouldn’t have. But it doesn’t matter right now in this moment. I have patients who need me. “Good morning, Mr. Christiansen” I say softly, almost so softly I wasn’t sure he would hear me. “Please, Audra. Call me Matt. No need to be so formal.”I nod and cross the room to Daniel’s isolette. I check his vitals and note they’ve improved. They were not great while I was gone but consistent. I administer his morning medications and then remove him from the isolette. I take his tiny diaper off, wrapping him in a warm blanket and then weighing the diaper. I remove him from his cozy bundle to place a new diaper on him and as the room air meets his delicate skin, he starts to fuss. “Shhhhhhh little one. We’re almost done.” I gently murmur to him. He instantly settles. “Ma

I fidget with my pen while I impatiently wait for this meeting to start. The only reason I’m here is for Daniel even though it is killing me to be away from him right now. “All right. I think we can get started.” My father says, seeing that everyone on the board was present. “Matthew, I know you have things you want to attend to so why don’t we have you present first.”I sit up and straighten my papers in front of me. “I’m here today because I personally was not aware of the challenges our employees face when they become parents. I wasn’t aware how little time is allotted for leave after the birth of a child, whether it’s the employee or their spouse who gives birth. I have personally reviewed our current policy and I am disgusted. I am here today to propose that we rewrite our maternity/paternity leave policy. I would like to propose 12 weeks at full pay for non-complicated births and up to 12 months at full pay for parents who’s child is born prematurely and hospitalized for a dur

***TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Abuse and Infant Death***“Please, Tyler. I don’t want to do this right now. I’ve had a long day at work and I just want to go to bed.”“Get your useless fucking ass in the kitchen where you belong! A pizza is not fucking dinner, Audra!” Tyler screams at me, shoving me toward the kitchen. This is his MO. Whenever I don’t cater to him, he berates me. I’m useless. I’m a shitty person who doesn’t deserve love and affection. The constant manipulation. The gaslighting. The physical and emotional abuse. It’s only the tip of the iceberg. “If you don’t want it, then order out something else. I literally just finished a 12 hour shift and I had not one but two patients who died. I cannot do this right now.”He flips our small dining room table, dishes and food scattering everywhere. There’s broken glass skating halfway across the kitchen from the force. “Oh yeah. Make it all about you and your sad, dead babies. They matter more to you than I do. What about me, A

“I swear to god, D. He was pitching a freaking tent when I did meds last round. It was so awkward.” While we ate lunch, I confessed to Danna what happened this morning between Matthew looking at me like I was a tasty snack and walking in on him snoozing with a raging erection. “Like a single person tent or a circus tent? I need to know… for science or whatever.” “Oh for fucks sake, D…” I roll my eyes “I don’t know. I didn’t look.”“I wanna look. I could look at his perfect ass all day long. I wonder if his ass is as tan as his face.”I open my mouth to speak but words don’t come out. I feel like my brain is short circuiting. “What? I’m never going to know. I’m a married woman. You’re going to have to take one for the team and find out for me.”“DANNA!” I whip my granola bar at her and turn bright red. I was mortified thinking about it. She finally stops laughing and manages to put on her serious mama bear face. “Listen. If the guy is making you uncomfortable, you need to speak w

“You need to take a night off. Self care isn’t just a mom thing, you know.” My sister, Ava, lectures me. “You said Daniel is thriving at the hospital lately. You can take a night off to go do something for yourself.”I don’t want to admit it, but she is right. I need to do something other than sit at the hospital, even if it is staying home and getting a good nights sleep for once. “I don’t even know what to go do.” I run my hand through my thick black hair and try to come up with either an excuse or something to do. “Want to go to dinner? I am dying for some Fogo de Chão.”“That actually sounds amazing. I haven’t been there in forever. Let me change and we can go.”Since this self care thing means I’m supposed to be doing something for me, I decide we are going to take my white Shelby GT500. I am in the mood to have fun and make the most of the night. Fast cars were everything before I had Daniel. The feeling of being one with the car as I race down the highway through St. Paul an