Lahat ng Kabanata ng A vow of hate: Kabanata 41 - Kabanata 50

It had been a few days since my mom’s troubling diagnosis, and over the course of those few days, the hospital had become my second home. She seemed better, she wasn’t hysterical or anything, and she even asked about Christian and Valerie every now and then, but I still couldn’t get myself to calm down and relax. I hovered over her at every second, and I was pretty sure she was tired of me breathing down her neck– a feeling that she made clear and communicated effectively when she quite literally kicked me out her room this afternoon. I walked back to my car with a gloomy cloud hanging over my head. She seemed fine, she seemed to remember that I was married now, but it was hard to shake off the fear that I was feeling.I walked into my favorite part of the house– the conservatory– where Tina had told me that I could find Valerie and Christian, and froze in surprise at the sight that met my eyes. Warm sunshine shone on Christian from the glass as he sat quietly while Valerie bustled ar

Christian was gone when I woke up. I cautiously opened my eyes to a sunlit bedroom. There was no sign of Christian and if I didn't have a vivid memory of the previous night, I could have argued that he hadn’t even been in my room at all. Everything was back in order– like last night hadn’t happened at all. There was a crack in the curtain that allowed the sunlight to stream in, and a quick glance at my phone screen confirmed that I had slept way past noon. It was already midday. I sat up shakily, feeling refreshed, yet strangely hollow. I felt like somebody who had just had a long and desperately needed sleep after the death of a loved one, only to wake up to the discovery that even though life would go on, it would be forever marred by the tragedy of loss. I could not remember the last time I had slept so soundly, probably years ago, before my mother got diagnosed with cancer; I certainly have not had any peace of mind since then. I groaned as I started recalling the events of the p

Emotions are a weird concept. You never truly know which one is next or hard it’s going to hit you. Because here I was, watching my husband and my ex boyfriend exchange pleasantries, and my chest felt like it had been split open with an ax. Mark caught my eye as we reached our bowling pit and he gave a sick wink that made me want to throw up my insides. I swallowed down the acrid taste of bile in my throat, while still trying to keep a blank face. I couldn’t let Christian suspect a thing. “Your wife is very beautiful. You’re a lucky man.” Mark said, slapping Christian playfully on the back like they had been friends for years.Christian gave me a look that I didn’t bother to try and decipher, before he looked back at Mark and gave a polite nod. “I am, aren’t I?”We put our names in the system and the game started. Mark was going first. I watched him stick his fingers in a green ball, taking his sweet time and doing everything in such a calculated manner. I knew he was taunting me. An

I was meeting Christian and Valerie at the park today. I had just spent the entire morning with my mother. She was getting better, her memory was still kind of choppy but I was getting better at managing the whole thing. The plan was to spend the whole day with her but I had gotten a text from Christian saying that Valerie was throwing a fit about going to the park and she insisted I must be there too. I found it kind of cute that she wanted to spend time with me, and I still felt a little guilty since I had been spending a bulk of my time at the hospital. But the downside to this development was that I would be forced to be in the same space as Christian, which is something I had been actively avoiding for the past few days since that night with Mark. I was so sure that I had been caught that night, but before Chritian could come into view, Mark released his grip on my neck and smoothly slipped into the bathroom. Apparently, he had told Christian that he had an emergency and needed t

“Hey girly!” Mia’s vibrant aura filled the room as soon as I opened the door.“Hi” I smiled, going in for a hug, she pulled me in and hugged me tightly. I savored the moment, inhaling the flowery scent of her perfume. After the crazy and disoriented way I'd been feeling lately, I really needed a hug like this.“Where’s the little gremlin?” she asked walking past me inside the house“Preschool,” I said, closing the door and following her inside the house.“I come bearing news,” she said, tapping her heels impatiently on the floor. My eyes went to her new Versace kitten heels which I was sure she would never wear again after today. Mia was crazy about shoes and she had like a million designer pairs.“Please do tell,” Olivia prompted her, giving me a knowing wink as she appeared from the restroom. We both knew that the second Mia felt the tiniest bit of stress, she loved to splurge on some retail therapy.“Oh my God, Olivia’s here too, that's even more perfect.” she exclaimed, envelopin