Liam has to hold my head up and that finally forces me to breathe. "Isa, you're fine. We're all fine, why are you crying like this?" He asks, sounding gentle and a little concerned. "I feel so guilty," I admit, still crying. Liam sighs but stays silent, "I really hated her, Liam. Not hate-love, just hate. If they left her in my hands, I was going to hurt her for real. And I left her with Nukea just to spite her, not because I thought she would be a good mom. I just wanted to ruin her life.""It's okay..." "No, it's not. I'm evil and rotten inside," I sob again, "And the ayahuasca only served to make me aware of it and sad about it but it didn't make me change, I'm still just as rotten.""But I like you rotten," he says, his hand brushing my hair back. God, he’s so damaged, "You're real. And unique and scary. Nothing is ever boring with you, it makes life… exciting in some twisted way. For me, at least. Not other people, but who cares about them? I'm the one you should care about."
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