Barely twenty-four hours later, we were standing on stage at Madison Square Garden. The view was a blur of brilliant stagelights, sliding and twisting around each other, their intense heat crisping my face like strong sunshine. I could sense the massive crowd invisible beyond those lights, the pressure of their cheers intensifying as the spotlight found me. For a moment I couldn't breathe. Then I felt the shift of air as Sy stepped up beside me. I felt myself relax. I suddenly felt balanced, as if some cosmic scale had come into alignment. It felt deeply absurd to be afraid of this moment, this dreamed-of goal suddenly materializing in real life. And it felt absurd to be afraid when I knew what we could do together.Sy looked at me, and the smile on his face was full of sweet secrets, remembered delights. The hotel countertop. The airplane shower. This morning in the sweet quiet of the early morning, tenderly waking each other up. When he was near, I felt like I could do anything. My

Suddenly, I crashed back together, sucking in the second half of my interrupted breath in the stale air-conditioned chill of my dressing room. Awareness swam back slowly. I was lying on the scratchy carpet beside a much-worn couch, and it took me long moments to stagger back to my feet, using the arm of the sofa and the cosmetics table for purchase. I felt sick, twisted around and knotted up. That magic had been powerful, and it had not been at all gentle. There was rage at the bottom of it. I was definitely very lucky. And I was definitely in a whole lot of trouble.There was a pounding at the dressing room door that made me jump half out of my skin. As it was, I lost my balance, sinking back to my knees and folding my knuckles into the carpet to push down a wave of nausea. In the afterglow of Faerie, of the Court itself, the thrill of post-concert energy was next to nothing. How could I have thought I was powerful? How could I have thought I was strong? I could be torn apart at an

But as it turned out, we had plenty of trouble waiting for us in the world we were in already.The morning started out slow and lazy, as we pulled ourselves reluctantly together and decided to go out in search of food. I texted Cass and Toby, suggesting lunch, but they clearly weren't up yet. Cass hadn't posted on any of her social media for hours, which was a near-guarantee she was fast asleep. Cass lived on her socials. How late did Cynthia's afterparty end up going? We had our second and final show at Madison Square Garden tonight, before we continued to Boston, DC, and Philadelphia, and then west. Maybe everyone was taking advantage of a rare non-travel day to sleep in and kick back, before the true sprint of the tour began.So, I had the surreal experience of watching Sy pick out which black t-shirt to wear as I hummed an abstract tune around my toothbrush."Let me take you shopping," said Sy out of the blue as I spat out my toothpaste. "You, shopping?" I chuckled, almost cho

True to form, Sy already had an Irish pub in mind, barely a block and a half away. The automatic explosion of noise that greeted us when Sy and I walked through the door gave me a good idea where a lot of the crowd had come from. If that wasn't enough, the sea of dark laurel-branded t-shirts told me the rest. In addition, there was a layer of magical aftermath clinging to almost everyone in the bar like golden dust. Sy and my distinct magic: like nothing else.Sy's bad mood seemed to have evaporated. Dave and his security detail seemed like their blood pressure was rising by the second, as Sy waded cheerfully into the crowd. "Next round's on me!" he bellowed, rising another generous burst of shouting from all around. Phones were out and snapping pictures. The volume on the music was cranked higher, and pockets of enthusiastic patrons started wriggling drunkenly in something approximating a dance. I took the shot Sy handed to me and raised it in a salute opposite him, grinning foolis

I froze in the hot water, knowing any movement would slosh the water and give me away. The bathroom door wasn't even closed, never mind locked. Why would I lock it? I was alone. It was probably only room service, I told myself. But I was so on edge. No one had sent me any updates. I felt like a lobster in a slowly boiling pot, waiting for the numb defeat to really set in.Then a shadow blotted the doorway: long and lean and strong, with a coil of dark hair. "Sy!" I half-screamed, joy stealing my breath. I hadn't dared to hope.His face was still stained with bright blood, dry and pale under his nose and darkening his split lip. I stood up in the bath, the cold striking in after the sharp heat of the bathwater. I was frozen, staring at him in joyous disbelief. "They let you go." I felt the grin, big and silly, spread across my face. In a second he'd crossed the space between us."Gods, I need you." His arms sprang around me, gripping my soaking body against his clothed one.