My wolf form disappears with the sun and I hardly remember last night. Apparently, my attempts to transform back into a human at will were lost to the beast. Without proper instruction, I will never possess that ability and if I can't stop myself from turning myself into a monster then I can't truly be with Kayla Lawson. I will wait until the next full moon, and that will be the last time I try to control the power I know that I have within the beast. If I can't turn into a human at will on the next full moon, I will move on from Brianna and Kayla Lawson forever and will continue my banishment amongst the vampires overseas in Europe. There are worse places to be, I won't be alone at least. I have many vampire friends who would happily take my sorry ass in. At least it's not full-on banishment. As far as a love life goes, Kayla might be my last chance at it. Before the next full moon, I hope we make love or fuck. I guess we can't make love if we aren't in it, or perhaps it's only one-
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