All Chapters of The Alpha's Desire: Chapter 21 - Chapter 30

Water hemlock.The answer is so simple. I look at the leaves and I question what to do next.I never wanted to die before all this. But this is too much.My whole pack, my friends and family, they were all slaughtered. I was forced into this terrible situation with Tobias and his awful pack. I was terrified, fighting for my life, thinking that my new friend could die. Then, I met Zach and I thought I found my place. But I didn’t. I guess I didn’t because he’s banished me from the only place I had to go.I’m without a pack, without a mate, without anything.All of the things I once had are back at my old home, and I can’t go back there without risking my life. I doubt any other pack is going to take me in.How am I supposed to survive on my own?I’m not one to just give up, but I don’t have any other choice.I look out at the lake. At least the last view I have will be beautiful and all this hurt can end. All this drama can be done with.Everything will just stop.That’s all

“Lavender, we need to talk,” Caden says.By the way he says it, I can tell it’s going to be more difficult to get him to help me with any of this moving forward. He chose Zach and Zach didn’t choose me.When he went after her, I knew.He’s convinced she’s his mate. He’s going to replace me.Or at least, he thinks he is.I won’t allow that to happen.“I need time,” I tell Caden.I can’t look him in the eyes because I do have feelings for him. I know he has feelings for me. But he doesn’t have the same status Zach does, so it could never work. I’m too ambitious for him.“We can talk after, okay?” I say. “I just need to take a walk or something.”“Are you going after him?” Caden asks, his heart clearly broken at the thought.“No,” I tell him. “He’s running after her. Trying to stop him now would only result in him being furious at me. I’m not going to even try chasing after him.”It’s the truth. There’s no point in running after Zach right now.Caden nods.“Okay,” he says. “I

“Are you okay?” Caden asks, as he catches up to me.This is why I couldn’t be angry at him forever. He’s my best friend. Despite everything, I need him.“No,” I answer, as if it isn’t already clear. “I don’t know what happened. Sasha said she was my mate. We love each other. Or at least, I thought we did.”“I’m surprised too,” Caden agrees. “It seemed like the two of you were meant to be.”“We are,” I insist. “We have to be. I’ve never felt that way about anyone else, not even close. I know we are mates.“So, I don’t understand it. And that was humiliating. It was already tough enough to get up there in front of everyone and tell them that the arrangement between Lavender and I is off. I already knew some people might judge me for it.“So, for Sasha to do something like that… And even call me out for breaking off the engagement with Lavender…”“Do you think you would forgive her?” Caden asks. “If she asks you to forgive her, of course.”“I would,” I say quietly. “It was embarra

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Zach asks. “I thought Caden was the person you truly love.”“Caden?” I ask. He nods.I’m honestly not sure how I feel about Caden. He doesn’t have particularly high standing in the pack, so I’ve never truly thought about it. I don’t allow myself to think about it.If I fully allowed myself to dwell on it, I don’t think I’d like the answer I’d land on. So, it’s better not to let those thoughts even flutter into my brain.“He’s not,” I say. “You’re the person I love. What would give you the impression that he is the person I love?”“He told me so himself,” Zach explains. “He said that the two of you are mates. I don’t want to get between the two of you. Especially not if you are mates.”“We aren’t,” I insist. Though I know I can explore that further even if I get married to Zach. Caden and I have had our moments together before. He gives me status, while Caden can give me something else.“He may think we are,” I say. “But we’re not. And

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” I ask. I’m not sure if I’m asking because I’m not okay with this or because I suspect he’ll change his answer. Maybe both. I know this will hurt him. It’ll hurt me. This is all wrong, but it feels like I’m destined to be tortured like this.“I am,” Caden says, as he straightens his tie. His body is rigid though. His words are clipped. It seems like he’s struggling to hold onto his composure.“It hurts,” he admits. “It really does. But it’d hurt more to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. I can’t make her want to be with me.“I love Lavender, but if she can’t see it, this is for the best. I want to find someone who will love me back. And I’m starting to question if she is my mate at all. I don’t think a true mate can hurt you like that.”I nod. “I understand. That’s how I feel about Sasha. I feel it in my soul that she’s my mate, but I don’t understand how she could hurt me like that if she is. It’s all so confusing and awful.”