Killian's POV. After such an inhumane move, I dropped to the ground, trying to breathe, to grasp what left I have of life remaining in my body. I was shuddering, I was scared. I had just taken someone else's life but I was scared of losing my own. Esmeralda had changed everything for me. Before she came, I had nothing to lose, I could embrace death and allow it to carry me away to the afterlife I still cannot comprehend. However, I was here now, trying to keep my eyes open, trying to count, holding on to the edge of the rope because I did not want to die. I did not want to lose her. I was here lying on the ground, imagining her life without me, wondering if she would be happy or not. I was here grieving my own death. Being eaten up by nostalgia of the future where I do not exist. I refused to let go. No matter how tempting the peace was, no matter how I wanted to stop fighting and just rest. I had a life to lose now. I have much to lose now, things I cannot afford to lose. There
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