I made it inside the front door of my apartment before I burst into tears.Anh came out of her bedroom in her pajamas, wide-eyed, with her keyring canister of mace at the ready. “Lily?!”“Hey, Anh,” I sniffled – and then started crying again.She ran over and hugged me, then led me to the couch.I told her between crying jags what had happened. She made chamomile tea for us as she tried to follow my disjointed narrative. Once I calmed down, she pulled back the vertical blinds on our main window and pointed to a bunch of paneled vans out in the darkness, parked along the curb. “There’s not many of them at night, but just wait until the morning.”Try as I might, though, I couldn’t quite explain to her why I had left. At least, not to her satisfaction.“So… he said he loved you… but then he said he said it too early… and then you said you guys should take a break…”“He was avoiding me.”“So he was avoiding you… because you were all like, ‘Tell me you love me – ’”“I didn’t tell him to s

Turns out he was.He called again that afternoon.“So, did you think of a name for your consulting business?”“Sebastian, this is really nice of you, but – ”“No, actually it’s not, this is just what I do. Did you come up with a name yet?”“No, not yet.”“Apparently what YOU do is dither and procrastinate. Think of something in the next ten seconds. Go.”“Why?” I asked, irritated. “What does it matter?”“Legal needs the name so they can file with the state and get everything in motion. We’ll be expediting it, but it will probably still take a week or two – ”“You’re serious,” I realized, and my heart constricted in fear.“Of course I’m serious. Well, what’s the name?”“Sebastian, I can’t do this – ”“You COULD, it would just take you months to figure it all out and get the paperwork in, IF you actually stayed the course, which I doubt you would, so it makes more sense for our legal department to do it. They’re going to create an S corporation for you, so you’ll need bookkeeping and ta

By 5:00 PM, I’d gotten over three dozen emails from various managers talking about availability.Eff my life.The only good thing was that most of the managers were wary of me, and most had wanted to schedule their interviews for later in the week, probably so they could get the gossip on me. I’m sure most (if not all) of them considered me a threat. Like the advance scout for the Hatchet Man.Anh helped me cram, just like the olden days in college when I was woefully unprepared for tests. “Okay, what questions are you going to ask them?”“What’s the top three problems they see in the business on a day-to-day basis… what they would change if they could…” I put my forehead down on our IKEA kitchen table. I was way past the hand-flapping panic stage, and well into the ‘total collapse and defeated resignation’ phase. “Oh God, this is going to be a disaster…”Anh smacked my arm with a sheaf of papers. “Stop being defeatist. Come on, you can do this.”“No I can’t…”“Connor set this up f

Keisha’s insights were the foundation for everything else that followed. Once I knew the right questions to ask, the rest of the interviews went amazingly well.People were so used to accepting the status quo, they just didn’t think about it until someone brought it up. But if you happened to stumble across one of their pet peeves, that was usually a match to a can of gasoline. In fact, if you knew their pet peeve, and indicated that other people hated that thing, too, they would go off on all the things that were wrong with the company.And because of Keisha, I had a whole laundry list of potential pet peeves.I think some writer gave a speech once that started with a joke about an old fish who meets two young fish and casually asks, “How about the water today?” and then swims on. After he’s gone, one of the young fish turns to his friend and asks, “What the hell is ‘water’?”When you’re in it all the time, you stop seeing it – whether the ‘it’ is water, or bullshit problems at a cor

Just as Scott promised, the check came by courier service around 5 o’clock.I about peed myself when the runner had me sign for the envelope – and after he was gone, I almost cried when I opened the envelope and saw the check.$10,000.I’d received five times that amount a month ago – but this time it was different.This time I’d earned it.Anh came home at 6 o’clock and went into a screaming fit when I showed her the check. I joined in and we jumped around like two little girls at a slumber party.“I’m taking you out,” I announced gleefully. “And we’re getting a cab so we can get smashed. Where do you want to go?”“Lily, you don’t have to do that,” Anh protested.“Yes I do – I couldn’t have done this without you.”“Oh, you would have been fine without me… I really appreciate it, but – ”“Okay,” I shrugged, doing my best to keep a deadpan expression, “we’ll order something in and drink a $5 bottle of wine.”“No, no, I was just being modest,” Anh said cheerily as she patted me on the h