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Chapter 20: Jonathan

I insisted that Lexi take the rest of the day off, and she didn’t fight me on it. I’d given every employee an extra “flex” day and told her to use hers. I had a few meetings this afternoon, so I still needed to work, but she didn’t need to be part of them. I could take my own notes. Honestly, I just needed her to tell me where to find a few things.I walk into the bedroom wearing nothing but my boxers and unzipped dress slacks. I’d gotten up to grab some water for both of us. By the time I return, Lexi’s nearly asleep, sprawled across the bed. I can’t help but chuckle, thinking about the workout I gave her this morning—and again over my lunch break.Unfortunately, I’ve got a meeting in twenty minutes, and I have questions for her.“Pet,” I murmur, setting the water bottles down on the bedside table. “Wake up for me. I’ve got a couple questions.”She groans, face half-buried in the sheets. I lean over her, and she reaches up to grab me, pulling me into bed. I lose my balance and land wi
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-02
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Chapter 21: Alexis

***TRIGGER WARNING - Nonconsensual sex acts and acts of violence*** I wake up about two hours later to Jonathan ripping the sheets off of me. “Hey, babe. What’s going on?” I ask groggily. He flips me over and smacks my ass. Not hard. It’s not like he’s trying to hurt me or punish me or anything. But it’s definitely hard enough to wake me up. “What did you call me?” he asks and his voice is all domination and steel. So we’re in the mood for a scene, huh? This is somewhat unusual. Typically, Jonathan will tell me that he wants to do a scene, asking what my limits are or if I want to try anything new. It’s not like we’ve never done a scene out of the blue, just that it’s not the norm. “I’m sorry, sir,” I say over my shoulder. “What can I do to make it up to you?” “Starfish position. Face down on the bed. Head at the bottom of the bed,” he demands. “Yes, sir.” I immediately move to the center of the bed, throw the pillows and blankets to the floor, and spread my legs
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-06
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Chapter 22: Jonathan

I can’t believe I did that. I’ve never had a sub need to use their safeword with me unless they specifically asked me to push them to their limits. And for me to do that to Alexis?I was just so fucking angry. It was like I couldn’t control it.You know, one of the things that attracted me to being a Dom was the control—it forced me to keep a tight rein on my anger. Something that’s always been all-consuming ever since I realized my entire life had been planned out for me from the moment my family learned I was going to be a boy.Yeah, the anger eased a bit once I started taking control of my own life. And it eased more when my parents figured out I was going to do my own thing, no matter what they said.But it’s still a knee-jerk reaction whenever something really fucks with something—or someone—I care about. Like when I saw that resignation letter from Alexis in her inbox.How could she even be thinking about leaving me? How am I supposed to deal with that? I love her. And she said s
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-08
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Chapter 23: Alexis

It’s been two days since Jonathan and I had our fight. I’ve been getting up at the ass crack of dawn, showering, and leaving for the majority of the day. Today, I went downstairs to the ballroom. They set up tables, internet, coffee machines, and pre-packaged snacks. Everyone was spaced at least ten feet apart, though I kept my mask on the entire time.Before heading down, I moved the fax, printer, and Keurig over to the table where Jonathan works. I didn’t want him to have any reason to call me over. I was fairly certain he’d never been in the ballroom, so he wouldn’t recognize where I was. I just... I needed to be away from him.Funny thing is—he never asked where I was. It hurt. Almost like he didn’t care. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe all that sweet shit he said was just in the heat of the moment and didn’t mean a damn thing.But I meant it. I love him. So damn much.And yet... I can’t forgive what he did. Not yet. He hurt me. In any relationship, that would be a dealbreaker. In a dom
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-10
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Chapter 24: Jonathan

When I came back from the gym, Alexis wasn’t there. That wasn’t unusual—I’ve barely seen her over the last two days. I didn’t realize anything was wrong until I got into the shower.My hand reached out for the shampoo, eyes closed against the spray. I moved my fingers along the tops of the bottles, knowing Alexis’s shampoo and conditioner were always first—then mine.One bottle top.Two bottle tops.But where there should have been a third, there was nothing.I flailed my hand around, searching blindly for my bottle.Still nothing.I pulled back from under the spray and rubbed the water out of my eyes. And that’s when I noticed—all of her stuff was gone.Frantically, I scanned the stall again, like her things might magically appear behind me or in a corner I hadn’t seen. But no. Nothing.I stuck my head out of the shower, checking the bathroom counter. Her makeup, her hair products, her fucking toothbrush—gone.I stepped out of the shower, not even bothering to finish or shut off the w
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-13
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Chapter 25: Alexis

Jonathan blows up my phone for the rest of the weekend. He bangs on the door—asking, begging, demanding that I let him in. To talk to him. To let him apologize.I don’t.I have no idea what I should say. I feel like I should apologize for making him upset, but… what did I really do? I wrote a resignation letter I never sent. How is that such a horrible thing?It helped me get my thoughts out without exploding all over him. Because I was going to explode. If I hadn’t gotten those emotions out, it would have become a full-blown fight.So I spilled it onto an email. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have saved it on my work email—it could have gotten sent by accident. But writing out my emotions and reviewing them later helps me process. Helps me figure out what’s real and what’s not.I never meant for Jonathan to see it. I never meant for anyone to see it. And I don’t think I should be apologizing for that.What Jonathan did though… that scared me. Who knows what would’ve happened if he hadn’t
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-15
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Chapter 26: Jonathan

One month later...“Ms. Clark, do you know where the projections for the Kellerman project are?” I call to my assistant, feeling like I’m losing my damn mind. I’ve looked everywhere and can’t find the paperwork.“Sir, I believe you left it in your inbox,” Robin calls from the hall. She’s been working with me since I returned to the States. There are a few other people in the office, but I think we’re the only ones on this floor. It’s nice not having to wear a mask except when she’s in the room.Robin’s learning curve has been steep. Understandable, since I worked with Alexis for nearly five years. She knew me better than anyone—what I needed, what I was thinking—before I even said a word. I try to push the thought of her away, but it hits like a gut punch every time. That ache in my chest. The one that steals my breath.I glance at my inbox, stuffed to the brim with things I haven’t had the energy or focus to deal with. Since Alexis left, I’ve barely been holding it together.I mutter
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-17
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Chapter 27: Alexis

This month has been brutal.When I left London in a panic, I figured I’d get home, talk it out with friends, and eventually be ready to talk to Jonathan. I didn’t know if we’d still be together, or if I’d still be his secretary, but I knew he’d want to do what he could for the twins.Imagine my surprise when Rosalyn called the next morning to go over my severance package.Jonathan had fired me.After finding out I was pregnant with his twins… he fired me. And then had the gall to say I had submitted my resignation letter.Rosalyn was baffled. She fumbled through the call, trying to understand. She wasn’t going to call me a liar, but she couldn’t exactly accuse Jonathan of lying either. She thought we had broken up—or decided it was better for me to work elsewhere. She was mostly irritated that we’d executed the plan without looping her in, especially since she’d hoped I’d train Jonathan’s next assistant.But once I told her I knew nothing about the severance, there was a long, awkward
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-20
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Chapter 28: Jonathan

“What do you mean she left?” I demand, standing in what used to be Alexis’s apartment.It’s the day after I had Robin call the firm’s private investigator, Eugene Harvey. Obviously, the first place he went was Alexis’s last known address.But an hour after he arrived, he called me.“Boss,” he said the second I picked up—he calls everyone that. “You gotta get down here. I sent you the address.”“What’s going on, Eugene?”“She’s not here, boss. Got the building owner on his way. You come down and we’ll make a plan.”“What do you mean? She might just be at the doctor’s or grocery store.” I didn’t get the urgency at first. I hated the idea of her being out during COVID, especially while pregnant with my babies. She should be home, pampered and protected—with me beside her.“Boss, I knocked so much I woke her neighbor. She moved. She’s gone.”Gone?My brain short-circuited. Moved? Where? When?I’d hired Eugene expecting him to show up, knock on the door, and escort her to my office. Hell, I
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-22
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Chapter 29: Alexis

I left the nursing home in a daze.They wouldn’t even let me see my mother—too much risk of spreading COVID. Apparently, the outbreak is bad, and they’ve stopped all visits.Which means the last time I saw my mom… was the last time I saw my mom.Fuck.I’ve lost my dad. My brother. And now I’m losing my mom. I’m an orphan.I don’t even remember the drive home. I know I drove, but it’s like I blinked and went from Mabel’s office to my front door.I don’t even realize I missed my OB appointment until they call and leave a voicemail. I don’t answer. I know I’ll reschedule. I just… can’t. Not right now.I sit on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. Frozen. Numb. I’m… alone.Yeah, I have friends. Superficially. Even Casey at work. But I’ve never told any of them about my family. The only person I ever told—really told—was Jonathan.And he’s not an option anymore.I don’t know when the tears start. One moment I’m just sitting, the next I’m sobbing. Hyperventilating. Shaking.I’ve never f
last updateDernière mise à jour : 2023-06-25
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