جميع فصول : الفصل -الفصل 18

Harper  There is a knock at the door, and a slender man in a black suit enters. My body tenses, and I grip the sink hard rectangular top. Why does my body's memory do this? Do I know this man? I stare at him through the mirror. I do not turn around; I cannot. My grip is firm upon the sink. My eyes focus hard upon him, trying to figure out how I know him. Somewhere deep down, in the pits of my soul, I know him! My brain's electrical circuits are firing at rapid rates. He looks at something and then speaks, and I space out for what feels like hours. All of a sudden, the room goes black, and all I  see around me is darkness. I try to focus on something, anything. But there is nothing. I know I am still in the black room because I feel my grip on the sink counter. Focus Harper, I tell myself. I internalize that I have my eyes closed, that there is no noise, that I am weightless, that I am for a moment, safe. Then I see it. Soft gray matter begins to materialize

Rowan As I lay in a cot in the safe house, all I can do is think of Harper. Headphones on my head, music playing on loud. I have a small journal in my backpack; I never go anywhere without it. It's none of Harper's journals. I re-read one of my favorite poems she wrote. It will always be my favorite one. It is titled: "A Freckled Universe of You": I use to feel purposeless without direction. I found myself days and days of just being in bed, not eating, not showering, just laying - just avoiding the world. I mean, what's the point of being in a world and living in it when the way others live it doesn't make sense to you. So you feel wrong, broken, and lost. What's the p

Harper I am doing much better now. I think I am starting to remember more, to retain more. I am having flashbacks as I sit here on the edge of this bed. My situation no longer feels somber, bleak. There is hope in knowing I at least know who I am. I play with my hair and twist it in circles around my fingers. I've got to look busy for the big screen. I know they are watching. The problem: I have no idea how to control this "thing" inside me—this feeling of force. Something is there, something deep down, a muscle that has been used so many times that yearns to be used again. Yet, I do not remember how. I keep having these flashes where my head rings. I close my eyes for a moment, and I have to put my hands to my head, and I yell out in pain for a moment, and I see all-white for a few moments, but in those minutes, a memory will come through. I've learned a lot already, but none are a completed trail—just bread crumbs. If I can get out of here, I can use those crumbs to find t

Harper  If I can't figure out how to use this "thing" inside of me, and figure it out quickly. I will be stuck here forever. I know I don't have long. That much is a sure thing. That creepy man who calls himself Mr. Coulter, actually Nicolas, is just a tall, slender creep. I'm not too fond of the way he looks at me. He has the look of a desperate man, and that makes me think he is growing impatient. He wants something from me, and I can't provide it. Because I honestly cannot, but even if I could, I am sure I wouldn't give him a god damn thing. So what now? Even if I try and practice, if I try to meditate, to focus my mind, they will just stop me. I have this fear of closing my eyes of trying to focus. It is instinct now, muscle memory. My body is restraining itself from concentrating, so I know they have been stopping me. I just don't know-how. There is nothing in this room to help me. Although I feel hopeful to remember more, that hope is quickly falling away as I sea