"You know that's far from it Alexis." Heaving a deep breath, contemplating whether I needed to know this extra fact about him that clearly, he wanted to keep hidden. Nevertheless, he nodded. "Okay, since you really want to know. Well, sometimes there's just something in me that sparks, like it's a big ball of fire laying dormant until it burns uncontrollably until the point I can't contain it. From what I've been told, I'd inherited it from my dad, it's documented he had the same outbursts, towards the end of his life, towards the overdose, apparently he'd have these episodes, to the point it almost turned him manic." He paused, trying to gauge my reaction, trying to see if I would react badly but I trusted him and I cared for him too much to hurt him. "I don't want to end up like him, it wasn't so much of a mental illness than him wanting to joyfully inflict pain on others. And that's not what I want, I don't want to turn into him. I don't want to turn into a monster." With every s
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