All Chapters of Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss: Chapter 41 - Chapter 50

Cordia unfolded Will’s first letter and began to read by the dim lantern light.July 6, 1861,Dearest Cordia,Please forgive me for not writing to you sooner. I am not so good with words, and your skill has intimidated me some, I am afraid. I have taken much solace in your letters. Your words have captured the feelings within my heart, and it brings me peace, even now as I have just come from an awful battle, to know that you are out there waiting for me. I was at first concerned about your relationship with Jaris. I wish that I could advise you on what you should do so as not to hurt him, but I do not rightly know the best thing to do either. I do know that war seems to change people. Perhaps, when all this fighting is over, you will find your answer. In the meantime, I must tell you it is only the thought of building my life with you that carries me through the hardships we must each endure. How many times in these past weeks must I

Cordia had never been to a funeral before. Most of her grandparents had died before she was born. Her Nana Pike passed away when she was about three or four, but she had stayed home from the funeral with Frieda. She had read about such things in many books, so it was a little surprising to her when she awoke that Saturday morning to see the sun shining in the sky. After all, in every story she had ever read, the sky was always dark and gloomy, wind blowing a driving rain, as all the mourners, dressed in black huddled around the coffin.As her family followed the procession of other carriages and wagons out to the cemetery on the edge of the Adams Farm, she thought it fitting that the sun was shining. Though it was still August, and therefore, still hot, there was a nice, gentle breeze blowing. Jaris’s parents had asked Cordia and her family to sit with them directly in front of the coffin. She took her place there, beside what would have been her mother-in-law. Margaret

“Home. There was that word again,” Cordia thought as she heard Julia gush over Will being home. She was behind them now, walking more slowly. How difficult it would be to have him here and to pretend to everyone that they were just acquaintances, just friends. Yet, as she noticed Mrs. Adams coming out the front door to greet him, she knew she had no other choice. They all went inside, and she lingered in the yard a moment, trying to get herself together. It wouldn’t be the first time she denied the way she really felt. She guessed she could do it again.Margaret was smiling and laughing, but it wasn’t the same as it had been before Jaris was killed. Now, her face seemed to have a gray tone to it. Even when she was truly amused, it never quite left her. She had gotten Will something to drink, and was trying to force food upon him, though he insisted he had eaten while he was making the trip from the train depot to the farm. He had walked the tw

Cordia was storing up a supply of bandages, as well as other medical supplies, in a little cupboard in the corner of a room off behind the staircase. Even though she didn’t feel it would be proper to shut the door, she didn’t think anyone would be coming back that way, and they would have a little privacy. She took one of the lanterns out of the foyer as she passed so that she could see to light the lamps in the room. For some reason, she felt a little nervous as she entered. She went about the business of lighting the place up and getting out her supplies.“Where do you want me?” Will asked.“Well,” she said looking around the room, “why don’t you have a seat on the table there so that I can see it a little better.”He did as he was told, and she slowly walked over, setting her supplies and the original lamp down beside him.“I was wondering how I was ever going to get you alone,” he said

Dinner was just as awkward as Cordia had imagined it would be. She spent what seemed like an eternity trying not to look at Will and could tell by his avoidance of making eye contact with her, he was trying just as hard. Finally, as the meal was ending, she suggested that she have a look at that bandage. Alas, Margaret chimed in that she had already changed it just a few hours ago. Cordia felt her heart sink, having no earthly idea how she was going to get to see Will alone now. She could see by the disappointed look on his face that he had not been a willing patient for his aunt either.“Well,” Isaac proclaimed, standing up, “That was a fine meal. Now, let us gentlemen retire to the study to finish our discussion of politics and warfare—ideas the woman can surely do without.”The men, including Zachariah who was nearly 15, all stood up to follow Mr. Pike into the study. It had occurred to Cordia that Margaret would not want to join them a