Lahat ng Kabanata ng Sister, Sister: Kabanata 11 - Kabanata 20

 AFTERLilyLuc throws her head backand the amber liquid flows down her throat but the glass bottleis still full."Drink!" she holds out the bottle to me. I shake my head while lookinginto her black bottomlesseyes.She forces my mouth openwith her long, sharp talons.Her talons are ripping my mouth open.I feel no pain.Red drips from the mouthto my white dress.She pours the liquid down my throat.It burns down my throat, through my stomach.When I wake up, my tanktop is damp with sweat. My heart is beating so loud, it echoes into my ears. I stagger to the window and open it, the pale moonlight baths my room. Leaning by the window, I take in the mysterious night sounds and an image of Luc flashes behind my eyes. 

BEFORE.LucMy gut clenched. One, two, three, four, five . . . And unclenched. I waited for it to clench again, watching it in the mirror. It mocked me and stayed still.Ever since I got discharged from the hospital, I have been having sharp pains in different parts of my body. Yesterday, I could hardly move without my kneecaps shrieking in agony. Today it's my gut. Tomorrow it would be my head and then my eyes after that. Sometimes, I would wake up dizzy and disoriented, seeing flashing lights and hearing screams. The screams were mine. I was dying in my dreams. It was my body, taking revenge on me. I was being punished for trying to kill it, for betraying it. Food didn't stay in my stomach and urine won't stay for a second longer. The white capsules I'm forced to take after meals stay in my throat and no amount of water I drink can flush it down. My ha

 BEFORELilyAs I zipped the silk mini-dress up my belly and over my lace-clad breasts, I imagined Jacob coming to the house and meeting my parents. Him, dressed in a button shirt and holding a rose. My parents, delighted to meet him.Dad would shake his hands and quiz him strictly. Warn him to bring him back home before midnight. Mum would smile, waving at us, tell us to have a good time as Jacob zooms down the street in the yellow Mercedes. I opened my eyes, chided myself for imagining the impossible. My parents would not encourage me to bring a boy home, it's a taboo. That would mean encouraging me to fornicate and have illegitimate babies (their words, not mine). Any boy Luc and I date would be secret and paraded to our parents as a casual,  nothing-more friend until we are ready to get married. Krystal slinked into my bedroom, watching me with orb-eyes and open mouth. 

 BEFORELucMy plan for the day was simple and straight to the point: 1. Dye my hair red for the fun of it.2. Hang out at Happy Place with Lily. It would be the best place to answer the questions she has been dying to ask me. 3. Hang out with my boyfriend. I had been ignoring questions Lily had been whispering, hissing, writing and demanding from me those past two weeks. I had not been in the best frame of mind, joggling school work and fighting my mental demons. Nobody knew that I had nightmares. Very lucid nightmares that I woke up screaming from. In those nightmares, I am Mum, carrying a child I do not want. Feeling it growing inside me, feeding from  me like a parasite. In those dreams, I expel the parasite from my body in big, bloody clumps. I would be on the floor, writhing in agony. I would wake up swe

BEFORELilyEverytime I closed my eyes, I saw the vivid image of Jacob kissing Luc and grabbing her round derriere in his hands. Her long, slim henna-tattoed arms were snaked around his neck and their mouths were joined, drinking ravenously from each other. I was not angry, not really. I was incredulous that Jacob would kiss my sister in public, in broad daylight. And that my sister would kiss Jacob in broad daylight, in public. Did he not know how I felt about him? Did he really care? Did he really like me or was it all in my head? Had I read the signs wrong? I sat outside in the evening, ignoring the whining of mosquitoes and the biting breeze, pondering on why Luc would kiss Jacob. Did she not know how I felt about him? Did she not care? Had she liked him all these while? When Dad asked me to come in for dinner, I declined. My stomach hurt, I did not trust it to hold down food.