As Tony stood under the hot water as it pelted down on him, he actually allowed himself to feel everything. Dillon was right, as he let himself feel and then release such pain, he started to feel better. That didn't change the fact that it hurt his heart. A lot. Despite the pain, Tony dug deeper and deeper. He couldn't stop now. The faucet had been turned on, so to speak. When Tony was eighteen, he learned of Ethan's habit. Up until he turned nineteen he did his utmost to get him clean. He checked him into rehab after rehab, and begged him to stay sober. For a couple weeks after he'd get out of that month's rehab, Ethan would do great. He would stay clean and focus on other things. During such times he would return to his normal self and Tony would be hopeful that he'd stay that way. Each and every time Ethan failed, it dimmed the light of hope inside him. Several months after Tony had turned nineteen, that's when all hell broke loose. It was when 'that time' happened. He paused t
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