𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃𝚂

" 𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐 𝒃𝒆𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑹𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝑫𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑬𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑯𝒐𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 "

- UNKNOWN QOUTES -

PARKER

I never felt this way again since 3 years ago, those numb feelings, fear is engulfing me, distress, hurt and my anxiety is taking over me. The feelings that I had burried for a long time suddenly race in as I saw those malicious eyes of him.

The pain that my body and mental health didn't take it well, I collapse and had to stay in the hospital for a month. My Hopes were shattered as I thought that the person whom I trusted the most would be my own worst nightmare. I gave him all his need and wants, me being his biggest support but one thing I haven't given him- my V-card- I'm the biggest flirt but I wanted to be pure when I'm really sure he is the one.

He didn't mind it at all which I am really glad as I like to take it slowly and I wanted him to meet my family, He is not aware that I am from the Lambert Family. He only knew that I am a Kart Racer, Little did I know, he is gradually changin' when he was promoted at his work.

I don't know what went wrong that he become possessive and eventually I was physically and verbally abuse by him, only to find out that it's his one way to get rid of me.

During my Victory party when I won the Solo Championship, he didn't want to attend as no one knows were in a relationship. We celebrate at Teo's bar and Carvie with his friends happened to be there, our table is just 1 cm away fom them but he didn't notice me 'coz our table is a little bit dim.

"𝐻𝑒𝑦! 𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑣'𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛' 𝑔𝑎𝑦 ? " 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔.

" 𝑦𝑎ℎ! 𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑙𝑦 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑠, 𝐻𝑒'𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙, ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑦 ,𝑇𝑠𝑘" 𝑔𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔

" 𝐻𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑉 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑑 ? ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑐𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔

" 𝑂𝑓 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒! 𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑑𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑡 , 𝐻𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑝𝑖𝑒𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝑚𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 , 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝐼 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝐼 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑑, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝐼 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑖'𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑑𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑜𝑚𝑏 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠, 𝑤𝑜𝑜𝑜𝑜𝑜𝑎𝑠𝑠ℎ ! 𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝐿𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑.

" 𝐷𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑔𝑎𝑦 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒, 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑑? "

" 𝐻𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔" 𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑟.

𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑑, ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘. 𝑀𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑏𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑝, 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑.

" 𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒, 𝑔𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑠𝑢𝑔𝑎𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑚𝑎, 𝑘𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑠. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑑 ? 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑛ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 30 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠, 𝑂ℎ 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓. .

People started to laugh and I didn't have the time to react from Carvie's sudden punch,with his continues punch and kick from his friends, my vission were starting to blurry.

My friends were too drunk to pull me out but before I passed out I heard Ziara and Teo's voice.

" what the hell! as Kai pull Carvie and throw him forcefully and Teo's started punching Carvie's friends , I saw vividly how Kai started to punched Carvie multiple times and just chuckled to myself "𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘻𝘦."

Last thing I remember is the sound of ambulance and the voices of Teo and the gang, my brother Payne. If Ziara weren't on a mission that day at the bar, I would have met Papa Jesus.

Nobody knows what really happened that night aside from my two brother and Ziara. I don't want my parents to worry especially my mom who has a weak heart, I had to under go Psychiatrist to ensure my mental health.

I was beaten to death by him, having a fractured ribs, dislocated arm and multiple concussions on my head and face. It was the first time I felt nervous compare from having my first championship in Go-Karting. The thoughts of dying, makes me realize that Life shouldn't take it for granted.

I am the youngest of Lambert Family that I did focus only on party, alcohol, wasting money and just go win a race though my family indulge me but they didn't forget to remind and advice me with my daily life but because I am so self centered given that I was young,impulsive and happy go lucky. It was my own fault for choosing this path despite the non stop reminder of my family.

I started fixing my life, from attending a session with a Psychiatrist, the trauma from the abuse that had me trouble from sleeping. I had to do healthy exercise, going to gym to help me find peace, had to do yoga and meditation that Kai arranged for me. She train me for self defense and I started to learn kick boxing too.

I started to invest and open a foundation for people who have been abuse and I already had at least branches from different part of the world. So when Kai offered me to go with her at Thailand, I didn't hesitate and started practicing again for Go-Karting.

It took me a while to hold those steering wheels but because of Zeph's guidance, I find my way back at the track. The adrenaline rushing on my bloodstream had finally woken up.

The pain that Carvie Lucian had inflicted is consuming me right now. My first boyfriend since coming out as Gay, I fell for him not just because he looks good but he make me feel wanted and accepted.

I got shaky when I found out that he joined Team Lacrose, my mind become blank. Ziara had dragged me here at Thailand in order to heal my shattered soul and start a new life, she conceal all my departure from Uk to here.

All the traces of my existence had been hidden by Ziara and she dispatches people to watch Carvie's move. He continue to live his daily life like nothing happened little did we know Carvie Lucian is like a walking redlights, he doesn't stop until he gets what he wants.

Did I really overcome my trauma? or is it a normal reaction since I haven't seen him for 2 years ? I really don't know but . .

I snapped out from my thought when I feel someone's patting my head.

" Parker? " Zeph gently patting my head.

" huh?"

" Stay put , wait for me here."

" kei "

My eyes followed Zeph as he approach the Team, I've been really thankful for what he did earlier inside the garage. He knows how to handle me. He become my anchor when we came to Thailand.

My secret crush for Zeph didn't changed at all, having a crush is for admiration. I thought that if i'll be into a relationship, it will eventually fade but when I started dating Carvie, those admiration were still there.

The more I had to spend time with him, the more I discover myself that crushing him is not just a simple crush anymore. It turns to be Like but I don't want to ruined our beautiful friendship just because I like him.

I am happy just to be near him and contented what we have now but there is 1% hope deep in my heart that maybe just maybe, a possibility for him to like me too. For now, I will hold unto it, who knows. We don't know what our future holds.