PROLOGUE

The List

"HEY, bro! I'm sorry, okay? Please, just. . . just don't tell Dad about this. I'm going to change, I'll be a good student-- man. I promised!"

He sarcastically chuckled before he fixed his eyeglasses that he's wearing. After all, between us two, he's the intelligent one, and the successor of our family, while me? Nothing, I'm just handsome. That's all.

To be honest, I could really change myself, but I just don't want to, I mean— not today. I still want to live my life with freedom. I'm very different from them.

I came from a very conservative family. My Dad is very strict and he doesn't know what I was doing for the past years that I've been living. He's always busy with his company though.

While my Mom has always been my savior. She always gets called at the guidance office ever since high school and she never tells about it. Mom would just talk to me and preach words of wisdom but in a nice way, maybe that's why I am not altering my behavior. And right now, they still haven't known about what happened last night, how we turned our school gym into a nightclub.

But as usual, the unappealing news spread like a wildfire at school. That's why my brother, Ivan, was so mad. He is fucking planning to tell Mom about it, immediately. And surprisingly, he wanted to tell Dad too! I'm dead!

Of course! I am going to get grounded if that happens, and worst, Dad might confiscate my precious car anytime. Damn!

"Bro, you can talk to our admin right? I mean— you are the president of the student's affair and—"

"Shut up," he cut me off with an ice expression.

My skin turned pale even more and panicked. It looks like he's really serious and determined to complain to Mom and Dad.

What should I do now?

"B-bro, please, I'm begging you. I promised, it will never happen again."

"I already heard that for how many times, Iris. You're not even making a little progress, so, have a taste of your own medicine," he said before he left me standing inside his room.

I hissed. He's probably heading to school now. I'm still not suspended because they still want to talk to our parents, all of us who were involved on that stupid idea of mine.

I heaved a hopeless sigh before I heard my phone ring. I immediately answered it without looking.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you going to school?" A sweet voice of a girl came inside my ears.

I faked a cough. Even Lea is affected because of me. I've been flirting with Lea a week ago, we are not official, but it's obvious that she likes me, so I didn't waste the opportunity to play with her. She's really pretty and sexy, dude.

"Yeah, I am," I answered.

"Okay, I'll wait for you."

The line went dead. I fixed my clothes and looked at my handsome reflection on my car's window. I can't afford to lose this car given by my Dad, at least not now. This is the car I've been using to do what I wanna do in my life so I must protect this at all cost.

I parked the car at the same spot in our school, always next to a black sports car. The bitterness is invading my senses again. Tsk. Soon, I'm gonna get that kind of car too.

Dad just became strict and tight with me now because of my past behaviors, but when it comes to my brother, Dad is very kind to him, he literally gives anything to Ivan wholeheartedly even if he doesn't want it.

Damn unfair!

When I saw Lea in the hallway, I automatically smiled and snaked my arms around her waist. There are still a lot of students looking at us. Public display of affection is not allowed in our school. Various policies are in here, but I still did that. . . party. It was stupid but at the same time, I did enjoy that night. From being a trespasser in our own school.

"So, what are you gonna do now? Your Dad will surely not let this pass."

"I'll do something and convince Ivan. Trust me." I winked.

She smiled and was about to kiss me on the cheek, but I saw Ivan walking towards us, so I dodge her, unintentionally. I pursed my lips and nodded at her, indicating to leave us first. She looked at him and gave her a raw smile before she went away, but he just ignored her.

My heart is pumping nervousness because of his cold stares. He crossed his arms and walked before me. I shortly followed him with no hesitations. I know that he wanted us to talk privately, just the two of us. That's why, I could not brace myself.

"Bro. . ."

"Save it. I just want to inform you that I'm going to tell Dad about what you did last night. You're not gonna change anymore! You even made the library like a hotel room to have sex in there? You're gross, Iris. You're the worst." He shook his head in disdain.

My eyes widened in awe. "No! I didn't do anything with that! And that's n-not my idea! It was Ricky's—" he cut me off again.

"I don't care about anyone's idea! You're still included, you're behind this mess," he calmly added but with emphasis in every word he says.

This was the first time I saw him like this. He's furious, I can feel goosebumps all over my body. I avoided his gaze and shut my mouth. I couldn't justify anymore, he's right.

"You're old enough to know what's right and wrong. Why don't you think first before you do it? This is a school, not a club nor hotel. When will you ever get a hold of yourself?"

I was eaten by a dead silence and stared at nothingness. Everything's fucked up right now. Big time.

I then slowly shook my head. "I don't know either. . ."

"Exactly my thoughts! You don't know! You're not minding the consequences of what you did! Do you know that you could be expelled by now?"

Shit. I thought we would just be suspended? Being expelled is another thing. I'm really a dead meat if that happens! I need to do something, I must do something. And most importantly, Dad must not know about this, he's gonna get mad at me forever.

"I'm sorry. . ." I lowered my gaze. That's all I can say.

I heard his sarcastic laugh. "Just. . . just fix your life, dude. You're not a kid anymore. If you're not going to help yourself, no one's gonna do it for you, remember that."

He left me hanging there. Alone. Maybe it reached his patience for me. This is something terribly serious now. I don't want to admit it yet but, at the back of my mind, what I did was really wrong.

I stayed for a while to relax myself and contemplated. I'm getting stressed throughout this mess. I was just sitting in a bench trying to think of something novel and reforming, but I failed.

My mind was still preoccupied when I suddenly saw the black sports car heading to the exit gate. My brows furrowed. It's prohibited to go outside at this time unless they are an employee. I guess the owner of the car is working here or maybe a visitor?

Whatever. I just shook all my thoughts away and headed to my next class.

"Dude, let's drink later after this. At the bar of Gervy, it's free and there are a lot of hottie girls, of course."

"Pass," I said, uninterested. I just lowered my head onto the desk.

I still went to class even if I didn't have the guts to do so. I didn't cut class because it may add fuel to the burning rage of Ivan. While my friends act like nothing is going on when I am in a bad state now. Maybe because I am the mastermind of the plan that is why I am the only one suffering.

"That's fucking odd, dude. Did someone cast a spell on you?" I heard Ricky's voice.

I felt really annoyed about what he said but I just refrained myself from bursting into irritation. After all, everything that happened was my fault. I should blame myself first before anyone else.

The first class ended as usual but I was busy thinking of something that I could do. My mind wanders about things that I could not really think straight. I don't even know how to decide, I don't think I'll ever change myself for good.

"I don't want the second class, let's ditch the class?" Johnny asked, another friend of mine.

"Pass," I shortly said, a bit off-handed.

"Wow, dude. You're really something today. Still because of the kinking party last night?

I did not answer him. I am getting nervous every time I remember the fucking incident. Ivan's right, these are the consequences that I have to face, not just because of the school punishment, but also about my inner self. I am going insane!

"We need to fucking calm down and make up our minds until they forgot about it. They can't take my car, dude. No damn way." My forehead creased and massaged my temple.

"Oh, that's the reason. . . don't worry about it too much, dude. I'm sure the issue will disappear."

I shut my eyes tightly. I know Ivan's not gonna let this pass so easily. Just by remembering his face earlier, it was so scary as hell. It sent shivers down my spine.

"If you wanna ditch the class, you go. I am going to stay here, I need to think."

They just nodded and tapped my shoulder. It is so fortunate of them that they don't have strict parents like mine and a grumpy older brother, that's why they do not have to worry about anything.

Why do I have to be a jerk?

"Good morning, class."

My head held high as I saw our professor, Mr. Wilson. He is only in his mid-twenties, I think, but at his young age, he was known for being a terror professor. If students fail, he will really fail them without utmost consideration. He doesn't go through special projects and for some worst case scenario, bribery.

"Hmm, that's strange, Mr. Rodríguez. Why didn't you join your friends in ditching the class?"

My hands were shaking as the tension overcame me. This is the first time that he approached me for something. I mean—I am a well, quite good student when he's the professor. I always go to class whenever he is the professor. The bewilderedness of my face vanished when I remembered that my stupidity was scattered all over the university.

I remained quiet because I knew that he wanted to embarrass me right in front of the class. I clenched my hands and lowered my gaze. I can shut Mr. Wilson out as well, but it will only make my problems bigger if I did.

The boring class started as usual. Why is the clock ticking slower when I am waiting? I don't really know why I took up Architecture. Maybe because it was Dad's profession, even so, he didn't ask us to take the degree he took up way back in college. Well in fact, he let us decide what we want to do in the future, but he's still strict regarding our marks though.

After a long time, it's finally break time. Damn, it feels like I was sitting on my seat for decades. Whatever, I will just cast out all my problems with food. After all, I couldn't do anything for now, I am just going to eat.

I went to the cafeteria alone, not with the guys. I could not find Ricky and Johnny. It's also a relief that I can barely see students inside. This is the advantage of our building being near the cafeteria. And when I saw my favorite strawberry cheesecake, the corners of my lips automatically rose up. My tummy's complaining already. It is the last piece of cake, its fate is to be eaten by me.

"Hi, one strawberry cheesecake, please."

When the vendor looked up at me, her eyes widened in shock. I could see that she's being uneasy right now. What's wrong with her?

"I-I'm sorry, Sir, but you cannot buy any food here. Uhm. . . you can just buy outside the campus after your class."

My brows met. "What do you mean by that? I am not allowed to buy here? Where did that come from? I have money. Don't you know me or you're just new here?" I tried to smile.

"I am really sorry, Sir. I am just following orders."

I sarcastically chuckled. "Come on, you're joking, right? Just give me this last piece—"

"Hi. I'll have the last bite of strawberry cheesecake, please."

I froze. I swear. . . I just wanna kill somebody right now. Someone just stole my strawberry cheesecake! I turned my head to see the impious man. I was ready to pull a fight but then my senses calmed down when I saw him, not just because I want to, but I need to!

He's my fucking senior and he's popular because of what they have said, 'beautiful face of a man'. He smirked at me and wholeheartedly received the fucking cake. Fuck this guy!

If only he's not my senior, maybe I might have had a fight with him. I don't really know this man nor his name, I just heard him from girls. Well, I also don't care, I'm still quite popular too. My hands turned into fists, from now on— he is my mortal enemy because he stole my cake!

He thanked the saleswoman before he faced me. "Sorry for your loss."

Is this what they call the face of a beautiful man? Don't they have a good taste? I am clearly better than him. And it's too distracting to see his little mole on his nose. . . well, okay, I admit he's blessed with a well-sculpted nose, but his eyes screamed malevolent lust. I also hate the fact that he's quite taller than me, that's why I still need to raise my head.

As I was looking at him, something differently hit me up. I think I know why he was known for having a beautiful face. There is a gentle and soft spirit surrounding his face and aura.

"Hey, you're dazed. I guess you want me?"

I blinked twice and snapped out of it. "H-huh?"

"I said, I guess you want this cake?"

I clearly heard his first question, but I just wanna assure if I heard it right, guess, I misunderstood it. He even placed the cake right in front of my face making my stomach growled more. I'm really hungry—of course, I want the cake! Who wouldn't?

But damn, my ego won't lose just like that! I stood up properly and tried to show him that it's no big deal. It is still necessary to respect our seniors because of the school's policy because if I do not follow the rules, it's gonna be troublesome again.

"N-no, thanks." I was having a hard time when I said that.

He shrugged. "Too bad. I was ready to give it to you instead."

The fork that he was holding passed through the floppy, tasty, savory, looking sweet strawberry cheesecake to get a bite size of it and then munched it in front of me. How dare him disrespect me like that? This is not fair. Still, I kept my face from smiling before I turned my back on him. I could still hear his irritating presence.

"Oh, okay then."

Jerk!

I didn't know that he's a bully! Even if he's already a senior, he could not just treat me like that. I am really annoyed right now. I need to have a drink after this class, but then I remember that I can't do it in this fucking situation.

I'm gonna die! I am so fucking hungry, but I am also not allowed to go outside to buy some at this rate! I still need to wait until the class ends. Shit! I can't take this anymore.

Every step I take in walking to Ivan's class feels so heavy. I am sure that he has something to do with it. We all need to get over this mess. I already regret, okay? Can't they just forgive me for I have sinned?

"Where's my brother?" I immediately asked randomly to the person near the door when I arrived, infuriated. The girl then made a cute face.

Shit. This is not the right time to flirt.

"Uhm. . . I'm gonna call him for you. Hold on," she said in a soft voice.

After a minute, I saw Ivan holding a bunch of papers while his hair was in a little mess. He fixed his eyeglasses and seriously looked at me. Don't tell me he's mad as well?

"We need to talk right now," I declared.

He didn't speak and just looked into my eyes for quite some time. He then sighed and handed over the papers to one of his classmates.

I followed him and walked straight to the engineering building wherein the library and the teacher's office in the opposite building are situated. He leaned against a tree and folded his arms over his chest.

"Talk," he said.

That's the cue. I have a lot of things to say, but I first heaved a deep sigh. This is gonna be a long rant.

"I am not allowed to buy food in the cafeteria. I didn't even eat lunch up to this moment. So, could you just forgive me already? I also feel like everybody's bullying me, from my professor down to my senior. Just what the f—" he cut me off.

"Don't cuss in front of me." His voice thundered.

"I'm sorry. Please, just give me a chance. I'll do everything you say." I sounded so desperate, but I want to get everything back to normal.

My usual life. . .

We were consumed by silence for a long time while my face could no longer be painted. He straightened up and continuously nodded. His eyes darted to me, then at the back of me. I followed his gaze and saw him eyeing at the library.

"Alright. You said you'll do everything, right?"

I suddenly got nervous. I am gonna be okay, right? I swallowed hard before I slowly nodded.

"This is gonna be simple, Iris. First things first, I want you to get a notebook and a pen."

I looked around because it was obvious that I didn't have anything with me except my phone. He lazily looked at me because I wasn't moving at my place.

"Just get your phone dumbass. Write it first on the notes then just move it to a real notebook right away."

I did what he said, slightly stumbled on my feet when I was just standing right here. I am taking this seriously, but why am I feeling like he is just tripping over me?

"So, what now?" I asked.

He shook his head with amusement. "Hmm, you're really impatient. Okay then, let's start the list, Iris Rodríguez."

Damn! This is getting me anxious as fuck!