Chapter 8

Diya

I have been going around in circles trying to decide. If it were only me, I would have been long gone, but I had to consider the baby. I made a vow in front of everyone and God to love my husband, but I didn’t think murder could be part of the hardship. Maybe I was being too harsh on Ace.

I have forgiven my birth mother even if I never met her, but I can’t bring forgiveness in my heart for the man I love with my whole life. I contemplated going back to the church for a confessional or an insight, but decided against it. I had no blood in my hands, but Ace and I were bonded. Could this possibly mean that I was a murderer too since we were made one in front of the church?

No. I shook off the ridiculous thought. This had nothing to do with me, and I took no part. But I did witness a murder and never went to the authorities? Why didn’t I go straight to the police? What he did was a sin against God, and it was against the law he should face his crimes. Would he turn himself in if I asked? Would I be able to live without him if he was to admit to his crimes?

“What are we going to do?” I looked down at my belly as my hand landed there.

My statement landed me a look from a lady who was passing by with a dog tether in her hand. She must have thought I was insane because she tugged the dog that was sniffing in my direction before she walked past me. I resumed my thoughts as I watched a few passers-by go on with their day.

My surroundings faded away to make way for my thoughts to cause disorder again in my brain. The more I was thinking, the more confused and questions I had.I decided not to torment myself by sitting on this bench and stood to walk with no destination in mind. 

I walked straight ahead. I knew I would find my way back to where I needed to go, eventually. Ben gave me his wallet, and I still had enough money.

God. I needed a shower to freshen up. I was happy with this thought because it coxed my thoughts somewhere else. I knew just the place where I could freshen up. There was a gym just a few blocks away that offered a day pass to exercise with no membership. I remembered because they stuck a huge flyer outside the church wall, and I was asked to take it down by Sister Josephine. I hope the price is still the same.

*****

If it wasn’t for Father Joseph’s teachings on endurance and reading about it in the Bible, I would have called my husband earlier. The free day pass for the gym had gone up, and I had paid and signed, but before I could get in, the lady told me I needed gym clothes.

I couldn’t state I had clothes in the locker because I had ticked on the first-time visitor box. They had a clothing section inside the gym, but they were too expensive. I had to go to a secondhand store that was luckily close by and bought the cheapest training outfit that was not even my size and flops considering my expenditure so far the money I had wouldn’t last long as it was still early morning.

The lady at the gym, Portia, according to her name tag, had eyed me because of the flops, and I had rolled my eyes at her and told her would do yoga. That didn’t require shoes, luckily, and she had let me through. I was glad they offered fresh towels because I had forgotten to get one. The shower did me some good, and I felt refreshed. I was glad when I walked out of the gym and she was not behind the desk or she would have given a stink eye for coming there just so I could shower.

I was now sitting at a diner waiting for something mouthwatering to eat, as I had worked up an appetite from all the walking and the heat was not helping. Wimpy was fairly my best choice, considering my tight budget, but they served a nice breakfast for a reasonable price. I sat close to the window where I had a pleasant view of the outside in case I saw my husband. I would hide under the tables. 

I wasn’t sure what the poor attempt would do, but it would be worth a try because I was not ready to face him. I began playing with my ring as I waited for my food.

“Here’s you double up breakfast,” the waitress set the plate in front of me, smiling.

“Thanks,” my stomach almost growled in excitement.

Simmer down, baby. I smiled in my head.

“And your tea,” she added before looking up at me, “If you need anything, wave, I will see you.”

“Thank you,” I nodded as she walked away.

I was one happy and satisfied person by the time I finished and paid for my breakfast with a tip. I was cutting it thin with the rest of my money as I walked out of the diner and took a right as I went on with no idea where I would end up next.

I was shouting at myself for leaving the flops with the clothes I had purchased in the locker at the gym. I didn’t need the clothes, but the flops would have helped as I was walking. Wedges were comfortable to walk in but if I was going to spend the day moving my feet, I needed flats but I couldn’t afford it, so had to make do with what I have.

I wanted to go back, but I don’t think they would let me in even if I paid again. I had used their facilities for a shower, and going back would make me look suspicious. Even as I walked, the decision was heavy in my heart and the further I kept walking around in the city, I could see myself drifting away from my husband.

I had been distracted for less than two hours as I looked down at my watch before I had an idea. I could pawn this watch for a good price, which would give me cash to take me to the beach. Ace would be disappointed because he got me this watch last year for my twenty-third birthday, but what choice did I have?

I should have thought of it sooner before I went through all the trouble at the gym. The beach waves could do me some good and if I still haven’t made my decision, the money could help me get a room for the night. A part of me condemned myself for having all these impulses, but I was determined. 

I really wished I had my phone to make all the sudden destinations easier to find. Some places were familiar because they were close to the church, but I didn’t know where the pawnshop was.

“Excuse me,” I stopped in front of a couple of girls before they looked at me, “Do you know where I can find a pawn shop around here?”

I got head shakes, and I nodded before I looked around to find another person.

“There is one in Senge Street I remember,” one of them spoke, “It’s opposite the furniture shop.”

“Thanks,” I spoke.

I walked across the road to get in a taxi because I wasn’t familiar with the place. The ride was luckily a short ten-minute drive, and it did me good because walking would have been tiring. I wasn’t sure of all the details as I didn’t read the brochure the doctor had given me, but I’m sure I shouldn’t exert myself too much in this heat.

“This is real Michael Kors?” she asked stunned, “Are you sure this is yours?”

“Yes, it’s mine. My husband gave it to me.” I fiddled with my wedding ring as I responded.

Sadness washed over me, but she spoke before I could get the image of him with his white shirt crimson red.

“I believe you,” the old lady spoke.

“You do?” It was my turn to be stunned.

“Yes,” she added, “That rock in your finger is shiny enough to be a real sweetheart. I’ll give you two for the watch.”

“Two hundred?” I asked, and she laughed.

“Thousand, sweetie. Wait here while I go to the back,” she shook her head.

Two thousand? My palms were sweaty. This was more than enough, much more than what I expected. I knew my husband was rich, but I always told him to never buy me expensive gifts. I voiced my concern to him about spending money and he had told me that the watch was not that expensive.

“Here you go,” she smiled as she gave me the money, “Make sure you count it. I wouldn’t want you coming back saying it was short.”

“Thanks,” I shakily accepted the money, ignoring her remark.

“I would ask for that ring too, but even I don’t have enough cash to get it from you. If you decide to pawn that, you can go to Big Joe’s in Barns Street. I rarely recommend people there, but that piece could get you far more than this watch money.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you mean.” I frowned as I placed half the money in my jacket and the other in my jeans.

“I have seen a lot of your type here.”

“My type?” I asked, creasing my forehead. 

She sighed. “You married the rich guy. Turns out it’s not all cushy, cushy. You don’t have bruises, which means he must have cheated,” she nodded, sounding sure of herself.

Try murder. I thought.

I still defended him with my response. “It was nothing like that.”

“That’s what they all say. It’s free advice, anyway. Use it wisely,” she shrugged.

“Thanks,” I nodded.

“Think about what I said. Big Joe’s. Barns Street,” she shouted as I pulled out of the door.

She was right. My marriage was not cushy anymore. Maybe if I had paid enough attention, I would have known what I know now. I had been in a bubble from the beginning and was too blind and stupid to see all this.

Most people say there is a sign you get or suspicions, but I had none of that. I really believed I married an honest man. He was always good to me and his eyes told me he loved me.

You were duped, Diya.

My thoughts spiraled. Ace was a monster who knew how to hide his true colors. He said he was going to kill again. He smiled before he pulled the trigger. The bloodied shirt. I was suddenly hit by a new feeling in my chest before I felt lightheaded and fell on the pavement into darkness.