As I walked out with Hinn Carlos, I turned around to see Robin leave with Ryan, I looked up at Hinn’s face to see him smirking and for a moment I wanted to ignore it, but then I couldn’t.I halted in my step and looked at Hinn Carlos as I left his hands. “I think you are alright,” I told him and for a moment he was speechless and Kate was right behind me watching.“Ivana…”“Don’t you think you are being so mean and insensitive to Robin, you shouldn’t always use his past against him, you should be his friend and not an enemy Hinn.” I spit the words out, not minding if Kate was here watching us with the looks of what-the-heck-are-you-saying-Ivana.Hinn scoffed and put his hands into his pocket. “You act like you know Robin’s past, Ivana,” I was mute as I listened to him. “Don’t tell me you do because you live in his house.” Hinn shook his head. “I have told you this and I am sure Robin has said it to you too, do not get attached to him, you may end up hurt.”“Don’t try to change the top
I returned home and stood by the pillar in the balcony on the second floor close to my room and Ivana’s as I watched the horizon with distant eyes. I looked down at the glass of whiskey I held in my hands. I haven’t opened it yet and haven’t taken a sip of it. I despise alcohol. I have seen how it makes a person who takes it in excess behave. I have seen how my mother behaved after taking this.But I am considering it right now, to take a sip. Just like my mother, it could drown away my sadness and make me happy again. It could relieve me from all the pain I feel down there in my heart.Perhaps after taking a large gulp of this whiskey I would no longer remember the pain I had felt in the past and this aching heart I feel now will stop. I have asked myself multiple times why I let the things that happened to my parents affect me so much, I have tried to pass that test, to stop myself from hiding in the past entanglement, I have tried to associate with people, maybe I may overcome al
“Love is not a poison Robin!” Ivana called out behind me and I turned around to look at her. This was the first person who had said what I thought about love out loud like this.“What do you know about love?” I asked her, my brows were raised, she was saying what I have believed for years was not true.“Love can never be poisonous!” She barked as more tears streamed down her eyes and I was shocked, it was as if she said that to make the things that had clouded it for years vanish.She stepped closer to me, her blue eyes locked with mine as her lips moved. “I will show you, I will show you that love isn’t a poison.”I scoffed at her bravery. “And how do you propose to do so?” My lips twitched, I thought she would teach me how to love, but seeing her walk away with Hinn Carlos made me drop those hopes. I didn’t want to have them anymore.“I will cover your heart and the pains in them with flowers.” She said softly and I blinked. Was this girl sick, what the heck was she saying now?“I d
"I'm fine mom.” I flashed a smile to make her believe I was really fine, I wouldn’t want to bother my mother.“If you say so.” My mother said after hesitation, I know she doesn’t quite believe in it, but since she didn’t stay with me for those long years, there was no way she could tell I was lying from my poker face.She turned to Ivana and looked her all over. “Why do you look so pale Ivana, did Robin maltreat you while I was away?” She asked Ivana and I scoffed behind them.“Mom, I am not a stepmother or something like that,” I told her as I rolled her luggage into the living room.“You can tell me the truth Ivana, did he treat you badly while I was away?” My mother asked her and I glanced over Ivana.“No he didn’t,” She said softly, but I know she was trying to keep the times I treated her badly from my mother, I smiled where I was, I know I wouldn’t want to treat her badly anymore. “We had a practice yesterday and my whole body aches, that must be the reason.” Ivana finished.MY
“Ordean, it is time for you to let go of the hate you have for your father, it is time for you to forgive him.” Mrs Jane told me and I staggered backwards, shocked to hear her say that.The memories of what my father had done to me, what he had done to my mother flashed in through my mind like a rushing wave and my heart felt like it was filled with thorns as I gazed at my mother as if she was a stranger.“Robin…” She called out to me and tried to reach me with her hands but I stepped backwards. “Why?” I asked her in a hoarse voice. “Why should I? Why would you?” I shook my head at her. “Why would I forgive him after all he did?” I raised my voice as my heart was numb.I watched tears roll down my mother’s cheek again, it hurts me even more that she was still crying because of that man. “Robin, no matter what he did, I don’t want it to destroy us, we have had that hurt in our heart so much and it could consume us if we don’t let it go.” She voiced out and I shook my head.“No, you st
I paced around the sitting room after Mrs Jane called Robin up. I was a bit uneasy since I noticed the look on Mrs Jane’s face when she said she wanted to speak with Robin.I glanced at the wall clock, it was over 30 minutes and they were still upstairs and talking. I heard Robin’s voice and I turned to look upstairs. I wondered what was going on. I could also hear a light sob, that was when I knew something was wrong so I slowly walked upstairs.I wasn’t meant to eavesdrop, but I heard no choice, not when I saw Mrs Jane in tears and Robin in the same expression I saw him when Hinn Carlos had said those words to him.I hide behind the pillar close to the stairs as I heard Mrs Jane tell Robin to forgive his father, tears brimmed in my eyes as I heard all the things Mrs Jane said and also what Robin said about his father, but what made me shocked was when Mrs Jane told Robin that she slept with his father against his father’s will.I clasped my hands to my lips as my tears rolled down a
I drove in circles for a while before driving to the beach. All through the ride, Robin had said nothing and I didn’t ask him anything, if it meant just staying silent with him, at least he wasn’t alone.I couldn’t tell the pain he has gone through as a child, it would be odd if I were to think I understand when I don’t.I looked over at him when I stopped the car, he was still staring outside the window, the sun was almost setting and the beach was only left with few others that were leaving already.Robin gently stepped out of the car and I did too, he walked towards the water before halting. I watched his back for a long time, he was silent, I couldn’t tell what was displayed in his thoughts, it has been hours since he spoke a word and I was a bit worried.I walked over to his side and gazed at his face, he wasn’t looking at me, he was only staring at the water that was bathed with the setting sun.“All my life has been a series of coldness.” He parted his lips to speak and I was a
I returned home with Robin late at night and he went into his room walking past Mr Jane who was standing by the door waiting for us.I could see the pained look in Mrs Jane's eyes, I could see her heart also breaking piece by piece, I felt so sad for both of them.With what I have earlier heard, it also wasn't easy for Mrs Jane, she was seeking almost the same thing as Robin, they were both longing for love.Robin shut the door and I turned to see Mrs Jane standing by the stairs, staring at Robin’s shut door, she sniffled a cry and I went over to her side.She closed her eyes slowly like she was suppressing the tears in her eyes, she looked so thin in just what had happened today.She looked fragile and I can’t imagine the pain she had also gone through in the past, if what Robin had told me was true, if she has become an addict to alcohol then she has also felt so much pain to let that consume her then."I am not a good mother Ivana," Mrs Jane said immediately she opened her eyes and
I never thought I would think back to those days again, it was a pain that my dreams remain dreams.It was funny how you only hope for something and hold onto it in your heart but can't catch it.Just like the days ahead, just like waking up, just like the air you breathe and just like the future you expect but gets something else in return.My dream has only been just one, to make it up on stage and get those lights flashing on me while the crowd erupts with cheers, but, those dreams stayed as dreams, just a few days to make it up there, it all got drained like the sand in the sea.Although the pain was lasting, the hurt still felt sore, but I still had something to hold onto, I still got that dream I couldn’t achieve two years back, that hope that I would one day stand on stage still lingered within me and that was what I have decided to leave in my heart."Ivana, you will burn down this house!" I heard my name and turned around just to see Robin turning off the gas. I have been sta
I was not so happy thinking about Ivana who might show up here wearing those miniskirts and shirts that reveal everything.I played the guitar with Hinn Carlos but I didn't stop glancing around for any sight of Ivana.Although I didn’t want to think of it, now I was worried, I shouldn’t have walked away like that, I should have still wait to drive her over here, the thoughts of her getting into a bus and having those boys stare at her in a flirtatious manner was now getting me worked up.It was fun here, crowded with a lot of people who were not only here to listen to our music or watch the show but also to ogle at us, they were flashing me and Hinn Carlos smiles but I was only distracted scanning the place for Ivana.After performing, I stepped out from the crowd. There were a lot of people here and it would be hard to find Ivana in the crowd. This was an outdoor show, it was different from the school show where I could spot her.I glanced at the event list, after my performance with
I knocked on Katherine’s practice room door and turned the doorknob when there was no answer. I can still remember the last time I was here, I had caught her kissing Robin.She has a crush on Robin but it all seems like she has put that aside because of Hinn Carlos.I have no idea who she loves. She has a crush on Robin, but is always with Hinn Carlos and was smiling at Henry when he was introduced by the director. She also has a past with Ryan who she now avoids like flu.I was glad, at least she knew Robin and I were dating since it wasn’t something new.I walked in and met Katherine’s stern gaze. "I said thirty minutes and you are just coming now, do you have a habit of making people wait or you just don't know how to be punctual?"Blah blah blah I said in my head and walked over to her. "I had something to attend to, can we just start?" I told her and she scoffed."We hate each other and I wouldn't let you into my practice room if the director hadn't asked me to do this with you.
I heard a knock on my room door and I groaned covering my ear with my pillow. My alarm had only gone off a few minutes ago and I had only turned it off to go back to sleep but then this knock. I knew who it was, just like the past few weeks, Robin was knocking so early to make me get up for exercise. The main show was in a week and last week ran as fast as it could. I was so stressed out with practice since the director was no longer taking it easy on us. I was exhausted with it coupled with Robin’s consistently waking me up to go with him for a morning run. I take back my words about Robin being caring if ever I have said that in the past, I had told him I needed to practice hard for the show not for him to torture me to lose weight, I can't tell I it was payback for ignoring him and using practice as an excuse. My room door was pushed open and I bit down on my lips, I thought I had locked it when I went to sleep last night. I must have been so tired from doing that. "Wake up
I drove back to the mansion with a gloomy look, I walked inside, it was big and empty, my mother will be home late today, she texted me saying there were businesses she has to attend to.I walked over to the kitchen, taking a bottle of water from the fridge. I drowned it.My thoughts turned back to Ivana walking away and I sighed. "She loves practice more than she loves me." I sighed.I glanced down at my wristwatch, she must still be practising right now, I have no idea when she would be done either and I didn’t check on her before returning home, she didn’t want me to be clingy, perhaps that's a bad sign of dating.I walked back to the living room and turned on the music show. I rarely watch any show, but I have no one to call right now and don't have anything fun to see on my phone and in order not to call Ivana I have to keep it far from me.The show was lovely but I can't stop thinking of Ivana even when I enjoy the music they sang.Honestly, this Anniversary party didn't catch m
Katherine raised her hand and the director turned to her. "Yes, you have something to say, let’s hear it.""Sir, who then is the female lead since we have the male lead already?" She asked and the director smiled as he scanned the room and settled his eyes on me and I blinked rapidly as his lips parted to answer her questions.My heart raced as he looked into my eyes and I pursed my lips, is this what I think it is?"You will find out after the practise since it's already in the newspaper." The director said the words and we all whined, what is the point of keeping us in suspense.Ryan turned to look at me and I saw his gaze from the corner of my eyes. "What?" I asked him, it was offending me that he was always sitting next to me during practice, I wish he could just go somewhere else."I can hear your heart racing." He looked down at my chest and I glared at him. "Don't worry, you are not the female lead." He looked away from me with a smile.He truly has the knack for annoying peopl
The next day there was a crowd gathered around the billboard and I made my way over with Kate who pushed through. The director had told us the names of those who made it to the main show would be on the sign and I had been so nervous all through the night hoping that my name would come up.As we made it over I could see some of the students who had practised with us with tears and disappointment on their faces, my heart raced and I was sure Kate’s heart was racing too.I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. I opened them to check if my name was part of the list, the first name I saw was Katherine’s. of course she would make it, she was good at dancing.“Ivana, why don’t I see our name?” Kate said the words and fear struck me as I looked at her with a wide gaze, it seemed like my dreams were shattered right now and I felt tears fill my eyes.“That is because you are looking at the wrong side.” I heard Katherine’s voice next to us and we both turned to her as she pointed b
It was busy at school the next day, they were setting this up at the practice hall, the sub show would commerce in the room and everyone seemed nervous.Just yesterday the director has made it clear his intention for this show and it was the same as what was on the board a few days ago, I was not nervous this show wasn’t for me, the act to be performed was not my part to play so I was going to be on standby.It only has to do with the choreography and picking out who wouldn’t participate in the next show. I was with the instrumentalist but we have only composed the song to be used for the show. We would be doing the live performance on the main show but as for this one, they will use the record.I crossed my arms as I stared at the eager reporters who were on standby and also the directors who were here to grace the show. They were talking to the school president and the director. I looked at the stage, they were done with setting things up and the show would be beginning soon.I coul
“Hi mom, Hi Dad,” I sat down in my room talking to my parents over the phone, it was late at night and tomorrow was going to be the first show before the main show, the day I may get eliminated or the day I will have to stay, I don’t seem so confident and need motivation, this was not only the reason I was calling my parents, I know their voice was going to be my strength.“Hi baby, how are you doing?”“I am good,” I told them, they had the phone on a loudspeaker so they could both hear me so well. “I am sorry I have not called for a while now.“We know you have been so busy with school, from over here we heard of the audition and also the show.” My dad spoke and I was surprised it got to them, but then I recalled there were televisions and radio, we weren’t in the ’90s “I miss you too,” I told them, I was glad to leave that town since it was boring and still the same routine every day, but I miss seeing my parents and holding them close to me. “We miss you more Ivana, I hope all is