Chapter 9: My life without her

For most people, the beginning of a new relationship is magical, filled with romance and excitement. It could be a storybook-worthy meet-cute or a modern-day serendipitous encounter. Regardless, there's a sense of possibility and a glimpse of a promising future. However, amidst all the positive vibes and the honeymoon phase, it's easy to overlook important conversations.

In my case, Divine, and Ronald, we didn't discuss what's truly important and what we both want from this relationship. We jumped straight into intimacy without considering the deeper aspects. 

...

I arrived home to change for my lunch meeting with my long-time friend Tola, only to find my so-called boyfriend, Ronald, unexpectedly at home. This was unusual since he's always busy with work, and I honestly didn't care much for his presence at the moment, as I had plans unrelated to him.

"Oh, babe, you're home. How are you?" I greet him with a passionate kiss on his lips.

"Mmm, I've missed passionate kisses like that. It's been a while," he responds.

"I can tell by the size of your, well, you know," I tease him, implying his arousal.

"I dislike how you make me feel like this when you know you won't satisfy me," Ronald retorts while pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"That's what happens when you don't pay attention to your woman. Anyways, why are you back home so early today?" I ask, my tone neutral.

"I managed to resolve a work matter that had been keeping me up all night. I was actually about to come to your office," he explains, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well, I'm going out to lunch with my friend Tola from Nigeria, the one I told you about," I inform him, starting to head upstairs to change, stilettos in hand. Ronald follows me.

"Can't you cancel? I want to spend time with my wife," he pleads, holding onto my thighs from behind.

"We can't cancel, Ronnie. I made plans to meet my friend. Now, please stop trying to seduce me and let me take a shower," I firmly state, walking away and heading to the bathroom.

"Fuck, I need a woman!" Ronald exclaims, his frustration evident.

"I heard that!" I shout from the bathroom, causing him to smirk.

A few minutes later...

"Can't your friend wait, please? We need to focus on our relationship," Ronald says, his temper starting to flare.

"Ronald, you're always away at work, doing God knows what. Let me go out and enjoy some time with my friend. There's nothing wrong with our relationship," I respond, irritated, as I pick out an outfit.

"For now, there's nothing wrong, but if we continue like this, our relationship will crumble," he warns.

"Ronnie, stop it. It's funny that you still have a sense of humor. But using irony won't work on me. When I ask you to spend time with me, you talk about work. Now that you're home and I'm unavailable, it's a problem?" I say, growing increasingly frustrated.

"What the fuck do you mean?" Ronald approaches me, his anger mounting.

"That's exactly what I mean. You're starting to lose your temper. Every time we discuss this, you either walk away or lose control," I retort, stepping back from him.

"That's unfair, Divine," Ronald says, his voice filled with exasperation.

"You left me and went to that party last night, and when I called you, you didn't even answer your phone. Is that fair?" I challenge him.

"What do you mean? It was a networking party

, for crying out loud! I was there for business! I wanted you to come along, but you refused. I can't do my job without you acting like a child! When are you going to grow up?" Ronald reacts, his frustration mirroring mine.

If we keep talking like this, it will only reopen old wounds and our frustrations will never be resolved. I have my own issues, and I need someone who can be patient and understanding. Staying up late after fighting with Ronald has become a regular occurrence, and he doesn't make it any easier for me.

"I felt alone, just like when I was little and came home every day to an empty house. What I'm really afraid of is that you don't realize how being alone affects me, and I'll always carry this feeling of being abandoned."

"What I hear you saying is that when I'm busy with potential clients, you feel alone. It reminds you of the abandonment you experienced when your mom was at work and you were left alone in the afternoons. And that triggers a deeper fear that you'll always feel abandoned. Did I get that right? Is there more to it?" Ronald attempts to understand.

"Yes and no," I respond.

"It makes sense. Anyone would feel that way given your circumstances," he acknowledges.

"I can imagine how terrible it must feel when those deep feelings of abandonment and being forgotten resurface," Ronald says empathetically.

"One thing that would help me in the future when you're at a party is if you call and check on me, and please stop keeping things from me," I express, looking for honesty and transparency.

"I'd be more than happy to do that. But you know I'm not keeping anything from you," he reassures me.

"I know you are, babe. Don't lie to me. You don't have to tell me everything right away. You'll let me know when you're ready," I say, finally seeing a flicker of understanding.

"Okay," Ronald agrees.

We embrace each other, and I get ready for lunch with my friend, hoping that this conversation has brought us a step closer to resolving our issues.

Ronald's thoughts...

Divine's revelation about feeling abandoned has opened my eyes to a side of her I hadn't fully understood before. It pains me to know that I couldn't protect her from her past, and it will be a challenge for her to let go of those painful memories and move forward. I desperately want to be the one who saves her from anything that comes her way. She means everything to me, and I can't imagine my life without her. The mere thought of losing her fills me with dread and uncertainty.

The fact that Divine now knows I've been dishonest with her raises a sense of concern within me. I might be in trouble with her, and the repercussions of my actions weigh heavily on my mind.

While Divine is out for lunch with her friend, I make a call to one of my associates.

"KG, keep an eye on my girl. We're back to our plan," I instruct.

"Yes, boss," the voice on the other end responds.

"I need to know her every move," I emphasize before ending the call.

I had already instructed my people to monitor Divine. Something inside me tells me to be cautious and watchful. I'm starting to lose control, consumed by my love for her. By having my people watch over her, I hope to ease my worries and feel a sense of security. They will keep me informed of everything I need to know.