The silence is deafening. Unlike when Max was still around, he used to be our own alarm clock; and sirens rolled into one. Max stomps his feet on my face if I don't get up after a few scratches. Sadly our unit is lacking a spark for us to call it home. Max's photo on my side table catches my attention; he was still young, small when I had him on my birthday. My heart constricts thinking about him again, but I refuse to cry anymore. I want to remember all our beautiful memories together instead of just centering my thoughts that he is no longer with me. I fix all of Max's things, his sheet, pillow, and clothes, and put them in a box before I rush out of my room, starving.
Mom leaves early for work, so I am left alone having breakfast by myself, which doesn't help my poor appetite. I only have cereals and milk for breakfast before I start cleaning the ho
Maddox put a blindfold in my eyes for the surprise reveal he said. It's not my cup of tea, but I agreed when he had to do it a few meters away from the shelter. Now he's guiding me inside to where his surprise is waiting. "Logan, just follow us, boy." Logan barks in response to his dad. Maddox's hands are on my shoulders, trying his best not to get me to stumble on the way. There's no noise in the place except the barks of dogs, probably the rescues they have in the shelter. The anticipation of the surprise reveal is killing me. "Here, we're here, Angel," Mad said as he squeezes my shoulder a bit.
The three trucks separate; to have better coverage in rescuing street dogs in the city. Davao City is massive, so we expect not to finish the whole city dog rescue in a day. The truck's back is a compartment where we have the equipment needed and even a first aid kit for the dogs. "Mad, how long have you been doing this?" "I started since my mom founded the shelter, almost 10 years now, we will be celebrating our 10th anniversary before the year-end. Back then, I wasn't so passionate about it like I do now. It was my mom who opened my eyes to caring for pets and other animals. That they have lives like us humans and they are capable of taking and giving love."
While Cassy and her friends are still hesitant to give the rescue dogs a bath, Maddox approaches me to come with him. One of the shelter staff takes us to what appears to be an office, relatively small but tidy and bright. Full of drawers, probably the rescue dogs' records from the vet. There are miniature paintings of dogs hanging on the wall and dog figurines on the table at the right side of the room."Ryan, what do you want to talk about?" Maddox asks Ryan as he offers me to sit beside him on a beige sofa. I like how Maddox treats Ryan just like his friends. He doesn't show superiority to the shelter staff."Mad, I'd like to show you a video, but please don't let Cassandra and her friends know that I took this earlier," Ryan said with terror in his eyes. He must really be scared of Cassandra. I wonder what stupid things Cas
It feels like the first day of school as students stare at me when I step out of the car. They are whispering blatantly in front of me while rolling their eyes and chuckling as if to annoy me. That's how I feel about them, but I'm not gonna give them the satisfaction of watching me upset and stressed because of them. I can't confirm if I'm 100% right or not, but my instinct told me that I am. I got accustomed to the campus vibes until today; the atmosphere of being an outcast has suddenly come back to me. It's weird, but for sure, I know there is something up behind my back. Close to our room when a girl a little taller than me blocks my way. I stop and tilt my head, looking at her unfamiliar face, that I assume she's not one of our classmates. "So, Angel, is it true that you are the third party?"
Five in the afternoon after class Maddox invited me to our campus man-made forest, which I agreed to instantly. Nothing changes as we settle in the middle of the park, the spot that we love. Birds' tweets are like beautiful songs in my ears; they exude tranquility. While the green leafy trees and grass give healing to my eyes after a whole day of almost confining myself in our room and studying for the incoming exams. "Thanks for joining me here today Angel, I really appreciate your time." "No problem, you know how much I love this place. This is the only spot that I love on this campus. Well, I can add the basketball court; I love watching you play there, you know."
"There you go, look at yourself in the mirror, sweetheart," Madonna said as he swiveled me facing the mirror. My gay hair and make-up artist softly tuck my hair behind my ears, entirely viewing my face wearing make-up. Indeed, I can say that he did a good job highlighting and contouring my assets. My make-up is not as heavy as I have requested. I softly touch my face; it feels smooth on my fingertips. My eyes look defined, my eyebrows look even darker, my cheeks are pinkier, and my lips look fuller and a little bit redder. It's been a long time since I had my make-up done; I can hardly remember when was the last time I had it. "Thank you, Madonna, I like it. You're the best," I told him and stood up to give him a hug.
"Hey, Angel, happy birthday." When Maddox greets me, I finally come to my senses. I thought it would appear to be a different person for a few seconds, but no, it's really him. Maddox."Hi, thank you. I'm sorry, but you surprise me with your look. I can hardly recognize you; it's a good transformation, though. You look great.""Thank you. So, do you think I look more handsome now than before?" A naughty smirk plastered on his face as he winks at me. Maddox runs his palms on each side of his head, newly shaved while the center was spiky and a little longer. His face flush like the cheeks of a toddler.He made it hard for me to breathe and made my heartbeat spike. I shrug a shoulder at him, trying to ignore my hammering heart. I don't understand why I feel this way
It's Friday, and I have to travel to school even if I only have a few hours of sleep, barely 2-3 hours. We arrive home at midnight, but it's not why I lack sleep; it was Maddox's confession, and to add it up is Cassy's leaflet she handed me."Angel, breakfast, make it fast; you'll be late for school.""Coming"I only have 30 minutes, so I pick the cereals instead of having a formal Filipino dinner. Mom reheated the food from last night's event, but I don't find them appetizing. I can't be late for school today."Angel, what exactly is your relationship with Maddox?"I pause before putting cereal in my mouth. "Relationship? What do you mean, mom?"
“Mad?”Maddox pulls me close to him and wraps his arms around me. My hands voluntarily wrap around Maddox’s body. He is warm, unlike the Christmas weather. My heart is pounding in my chest like the beat of a drum as we keep our bodies close to each other even more.We are both speechless until I hear Maddox cry. I feel so bad for causing so much pain to him. I hate and blame myself for every hurt Maddox is bearing. I gently pat Maddox’s back.“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Mad.”“It’s okay.” Maddox loosens his arms around me. I glance up at Maddox, trying to make eye contact with him.I can't
It’s December 24, the loneliest Christmas in my life without mom. This is the only yuletide season that I don't like celebrating. I've never felt like having Christmas since mom was in her bad condition.Dad asked me yesterday if I’d want to have an out-of-town vacation with my friends but I declined. I don’t want to leave the city as it seems like leaving mom. I know dad couldn’t ask me to join them for Christmas since his wife would be against it. So, I told him I'm staying in my condo.I'm having instant food for breakfast as I am starving already. If mom was here, she'll surely prepare something nutritious for me, she won't settle for instant breakfast.The doorbell rings while I'm eating my morning oatmeal. I wonder who would want to visit me as
On my first day without mom, I visited our old apartment in the hope of reminiscing about those times with mom in our nest. I fix the things mom left as well as my room for me to stay in. Everything is in chaos.There are spider webs on the ceiling, and dust on the sofa and on the floor. The apartment smells like an old building that hasn't been used for years. I can’t believe how much dirt it accumulated during the short time we’ve been staying in Singapore and at my mom's funeral.I start cleaning the small living room, the kitchen, and the dining area. It took me almost an hour to finish even in just a small area. Next is my room before cleaning my mom’s room. My room is just as messy as the living area. I have to put some of the papers in the trash to make space for my school materials.
Time stops…I don’t even know where Cassy and her minions get the nerve to visit mom’s funeral. The audacity they have is incomparable.“Hey, what do you guys think you’re doing here? Seriously? This is not a show.” Lea asks Cassandra as she gets close to mom’s coffin.Cassandra snorts. “We come here with good intentions. I know this is hard for Angel to lose everything, right? Not just her mom but also Maddox.” Cassy says the latter with a hint of tease. "That's why we're here to ease her pain. I know how it feels to be left alone."“Cassandra…”I can’t be wrong, I know exactly
Lea comes to us in mom’s room. Lucy is on the left side of the bed as she was trying to help mom make it comfortable and probably breathe easily. Mommy is like running out of breath which is worse than usual.“Mommy…” I hop on the right side of the bed.Mom only moves her teary eyes. She looks at me, her lips parting like she wants to speak up but is unable to because of the shortness of breath.“Mom it's okay, I’m here. You don’t have to say anything, mommy.”“Angel, is Aunt Athena normally like this when she wakes up?” Lea asks, her voice trembling in fear.“No Lea, this is the worst one but mom will be
It’s another day in Singapore and our last day to be exact. With a heavy heart, I pack mom’s stuff to prepare for our flight.“Mom, are you sure about this?”“Angel, this is the best decision I know. Let’s not argue about this anymore. We will have more time together in the Philippines.”Dad didn’t disagree with mom last night. I don't know why. Dad probably only wants to give whatever mom wishes. He immediately booked tickets for all of us. Although it is hard for him as well. I saw it in his eyes last night, he was sad.I knock on dad’s door to check on him. He let me in. Dad's luggage is open while his clothes scattering on his bed. "Dad, let me help you," I volunteer as I
“What is happening here? Ms. Lucy? Candace?”They both look back at me while helping mom on the bed. I see mom is having difficulty breathing.“Mommy, I’m here.” I walk over to mom’s bed and sit on the edge of it.“I already gave her the medicine Angel. Athena will be fine in a few minutes.” Candace says.“Thank you guys, but you should have told me earlier.”Mom holds my arm. “Angel…” Mom says between breathing heavily. “I told them not to…” She pauses for another heavy breath. 'I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” It’s hard for mom to utter a sentence.
Around 11 in the morning when mom wakes up. Mom’s eyes look tired, the dark circles have been getting bigger and bigger for the past few days.“Angel?” Mom smiles lazily as she looks at me.I smile back at her as I walk over to the bed. “Mommy, I’ll help you sit on the bed.”Mom is so light that I think I could carry her like a baby. She loses too much weight while battling cancer. I sit mom in the bed and put a pillow at her back to make it comfortable.“Mom, what do you wanna have for breakfast? I’ll cook it for you.”“Angel, what’s wrong?”
It’s 9 in the morning and I’m here in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. The dark circles in my eyes are getting bigger. I wash my face with water hoping it will help me awake as I only slept for at least 3 hours.It was hard to watch mom in pain last night. I was helpless thinking and knowing there was nothing I could do to ease her pain. Angelo and I were with mom until she was able to sleep.Mom is still sleeping when I walk out of the bathroom so I head to the kitchen to drink some water and check on Candace, Lucy and Angelo.“Good morning, guys. Were you able to sleep?” Candace and Lucy turn back as I grab a glass to pour some water.“Good morning, Angel.” They greet me in unis