Chapter 4: Sinful Thoughts

Jasson closed his eyes tightly as the whiskey he was drinking landed in his throat. He slowly lowered the glass, which created a noise over the counter. For some inexplicable reason, he is currently in the exclusive bar and has been like this for a few nights now. 

“Hi…” a soft voice said, and warm breath hit his neck, but he ignored it. 

“Alone, huh?” The woman at his side took the whiskey that should have been his. She sniffed it and then brought it to her sexy lips to sip. “You can't enjoy the night alone, handsome,” she said seductively. Her full breasts, whose cheeks were already exposed due to the deep groove in her v-neckline dress, were practically touching Jasson's right arm. 

Heretofore, he would probably heat up immediately in this kind of situation; now, he could no longer understand himself. He feels that he is already impotent or can no longer have sex. And it only started that night. 

Damn it! 

Jasson glanced at the woman. He knew the lady. Daisy Rosie is a famous actress and model with a porcelain complexion, which was his type of woman. But even his taste seems to have changed. 

“Come on, be alone with me,” Daisy whispered in his ear, her seductive eyes making eye contact with him. She traces Jasson’s perfect jaw with her forefinger down to his neck until it leads to his arm and finally anchors it to his bicep, pulling him up. 

Jasson heaved a sigh and let her pull him up onto his chair. He paid his bills, and they headed to his car. They were soon inside his condo unit, where he stayed whenever he didn't want to go home to his house. 

The woman’s actions look like a hungry animal. She immediately kissed his lips the moment they got inside. She bit and sucked it like it was her favorite lollipop. She even dared to remove the buttons of his white long-sleeved polo while her lips roamed over his face and neck. 

Jasson shut his eyes and let Daisy please him. He tried to feel the sensation that a real man must have felt. He was naked, and the lady started to taste his body. And he did not fail. He felt his arousal grow. But he quickly opened his eyes and suddenly got up from the bed! 

“D*mn it!” He pushed the woman kissing his bare chest away. He stared at her for a moment and almost tweaked his hair out of desperation.

Jasson silently screamed as the lovely face in his mind wouldn’t disappear. He sat down violently on his bed while catching his breath. He leaned his elbows on his legs and covered his face with his palms.

“Hey?” Daisy was about to approach him, however, Jasson immediately stopped her.

“Leave.” He stood up and walked towards the door.

“But—” Daisy was unable to pursue what she wanted to say when Jasson abruptly opened, slammed the door, and left her alone.

D*mn!

Yes, he felt his arousal, but f*ck! He warmed up, but not because of the girl he was with. He was thrilled because of the face that always revolved around his head as he closed his eyes tightly.

It’s been years since he last saw Samara, but her innocent face is still hunting her. He thought that he could get rid of his desire for her. But every night, he’s miserable, like an old impotent man.

He shut his eyes and remembered everything when his sinful thoughts started– at the rooftop.

He could feel Samara staring at him, but he stopped himself from looking back at the girl. He busied himself looking at the dark sky, pretending that he was watching the stars. And when he felt that Samara was no longer looking at him, he cast a sidelong glance at her.

He couldn't imagine that Samara would grow up like this. He remembered that she was just a little girl who stumbled on her feet and fell onto the floor the last time he saw her. But at Peter Ross' wedding, he witnessed how boys her age wanted to get her attention.

She was just his little sister… Yes, Samara is just his little sister.

Samara slowly fell asleep, and he got the chance to look at her freely. She was still the same little girl he knew, the little girl who loves to mingle with him, who loves to bake for him, who loves serving him.

“I will not let anyone hurt you, baby…” he whispered.

Jasson's muscles twitched with incomprehensible emotion as he opened his eyes, and his prominent jaw tightened as he clenched his fists. He closed his eyes again, and the image of the girl was there again. 

He calmed himself and let his mind dwell on the image he saw. Samara’s smile seemed seductive, but he knew she wasn’t. He knew her very well. How she laughed when they were together. And how she gave her smiles to everyone. Her straight, shiny, pitch-black hair that is mid-back in length accompanies her every movement. He didn't fantasize about her, it's just that Samara is such a sweet girl.

And he couldn’t let her innocence be tainted by his sinful thoughts. 

SAMARA squirmed in her room. She wanted to talk to her father about her upcoming step into Senior High School. A few weeks now, she will be graduating in Grade 10. She wants to ask her parents where she could take her senior high. 

She came to a halt in her back-and-forth and approached the enormous window. She could see the back of the high Lutheran mansion from there. A few meters from the manor was the villa, which included fifteen houses for the servants. Senior Martin had it built at the same time as the manor to home the personnel and their families while they worked there. 

She took a deep breath and exited the room. She couldn't see her parents in the living room, so she assumed they were on the house's back porch. She proceeded to the door beside their kitchen. The chilly breeze met her as she opened the door. 

The home is surrounded by tall and productive trees and wildflowers, creating a refreshing breeze. There is also a section of the property cultivated with various vegetables, from which they pick seasonings to cook in houses or for the mansion. 

“Pa, Ma,” she called as she found them on the porch. Her mother is busy with her crochet, while her father is busy with the newspaper. When there are no bosses in the mansion like this, her mother and other servants will just go to the big house to clean, and then they can stay in the villa for the rest of the day. 

On the other hand, the men are busy exchanging guards throughout the island. And because the senor and lady rarely go there, even the siblings, everyone's job is more accessible, but they still get paid right. 

“Are you done with your assignments?” Mara, Samara’s mom, asked. 

“Yes, Ma.” She glanced at her father, who didn't bother to look at her. 

“Are you hungry already?” 

“Not yet, ma.” She sat down on the empty chair made of the trunk of a large tree. 

She was reluctant about what or how she should start the conversation. Her mother is soft yet strict since she’s the housemaid’s supervisor, but his father is more authoritarian. His words are definitely the law in this house. With just one glance, you will know. He has stingy smiles and scrutinizing eyes. That is why she is terrified to be against her father. 

”Next term, I will be in grade 11,” Samara began to talk in Bengali, her father's language, which caught her father’s attention, although he only glanced at her for a moment. 

“D-do you have a plan for where I will enroll? I-I would like to—” 

“Your grandmother is expecting you. You're hers after grade 10,” Dawood said in his serious tone without glancing at Samara. 

Samara bit her lower lip to restrain herself in resistance. She could read the clarity in her father’s voice, so she did not dare to disobey his decision. She knew that her parents only thought of what was best for her. 

She coughed to clear the lump in her throat. “Then I will study in India,” she said while nodding. She knew it and understood that the decision was final. She will leave this island and have to embrace her father’s culture. 

Silence prevailed among the three of them. The couple turned their attention back to their respective tasks while Samara watched quietly and contentedly tapped her fingers on the chair's armchair. 

Samara didn't take long either, and she thought of getting up and saying goodbye to them. “I'll cook dinner, Mama,” she volunteered to her mother. Mara nodded to her daughter as her consent. She turned to face her father and bowed before leaving them.