Moods

[Eodelle’s Point of View]

Did I just see remorse flashed in his eyes?

I ignore whatever pity he feels for me. I can’t feel anything anymore after what happened to me in that dungeon. It feels like they took away a part of me that still believes that there is kindness no matter how cold this place is. 

But after all the anger, the pain and the violence they showed and caused me, all I could think is how unforgiving this world is, for the people like me who have nothing to do with any of these people and yet I am still hated for the crimes of my father.

Every inch of me hurts and my head throbs terribly, “The only kindness you can give me is at least you had let me die in that dungeon…” I murmured bitterly on him and I watched how his face turned dark and stoic.

“Do you think you can get away from me that easily, princess Eodelle? I am not as merciful as you think so you will stay here as long as I want. You are my prisoner and you will do whatever I say,” he uttered coldly as he looked down on me with his condescending eyes, “You are mine to keep. And the decision is mine as well when I want to get rid of you.”

When I thought that I had already cried all my tears, my face still got drenched after hearing those awful words from the man who killed my father. What made it more complicated is he hasn't officially rejected me. 

He is fully aware of every pain and anguish I feel inside. And yet, here he is, acting as if he doesn’t feel any of it at all. I lifted my face to look at his implacable eyes and I feel like my heart is breaking into pieces again. I still can’t believe that I was mated with a man who only sees pleasure when I am in pain.

He averted his eyes from me and then got out of the room as fast as he could. As if I am an eyesore to him. I couldn’t help but sob terribly, trying to get rid of this anger and grief in my chest. Why am I still alive? I shouldn’t be here anymore. I have already embraced the darkness that swallowed me after I took all that inhumane beatings from those random people who just barged into my cell and almost killed me. 

***

I blinked twice and woke up from the delicious smell that wafted all over the room. 

God, I didn’t know I passed out after I cried my heart out. Or maybe the bed was just too soft after sleeping on the hard, bricked floor of the dungeon for over a week. I let myself enjoy the soft warm bed more but my stomach just grumbles as I smell the bacon and fresh loaves of bread placed on the table.

I slowly pushed myself away from the pillows. I was a little bedazzled by the white light coming from the window. There is a tall silhouette sitting on one of the chairs and when my eyes finally focused, my heart started to ram against my chest once again when I saw Aster’s handsome face as he looked at me with worried eyes. He looks like he just came straight here from his morning bath. His hair was still a little wet and he was only wearing his tunic which revealed his hairy chest. 

Why is he looking worried?

Confused, I still have no idea why he keeps on wasting his time on me. I have already made it clear to him that I don’t want to do anything with him but it seems he’s really fond of giving me more heartaches. 

“Why are you here?” I asked, avoiding to stare in his eyes. I am tired of seeing the stoic expression on his face.

“I just want to make sure you will eat,” he answered. There is arrogance in his tone as if not eating the food is not an option for me. “Get up and eat.

“I am not hungry—”

“That is not a request, princess. That is an order from your Emperor. I hate it when people refuse the hospitality I give them,” there is a hint of warning in his voice and my body shudders as he intimidates me with his cold, adamant voice. “Sit here.”

I don’t know why my body just wants to be so submissive in every word he says. Is it because he is now the Alpha Emperor that my instincts just have to do whatever he says? Aside from that fact, he is still my Mate. 

I can feel his stare as I walk away from my bed, slowly, as if I am walking in front of a vicious predator. I winced. My body is still feeling weak from all the beatings but do I have a choice? This man doesn’t accept no for an answer. And I am too scared of what he might do to me if I stay too stubborn in front of him.

I sat on the chair in front of me and saw the mouth-watering breakfast set beautifully on the table. I feel like I am already full from just smelling the foods but my eyes went to look at Aster’s face, his lips stretched into an amused smirk and said in a luscious voice, “Good girl. Now eat.”

He propped his chin with his hand, still watching me and my face just turned red, embarrassed because I have never eaten in front of anyone besides Nina, my maidservant and the only person I ever trusted. 

And yet my hunger is just greater than my pride so I tried digging on the pancakes and bacon first before I took two sunny-side up eggs and stuffed them all in my mouth. 

I was expecting him to look disgusted at me though but I was stunned when I saw him smiling…His eyes are so bright and so kind. The very first time I saw him smile since we met on that cold night in the garden…

My mouth just stopped chewing as I looked down on my plate. No. He can’t deceive me with that kind of smile. I can’t let my guard down…

“If my presence makes it difficult for you to enjoy your food, I can go and just leave you,” his voice was gentle which made me look at  his face back again, my head whistling because he seems like a different person since the last time we talked. Like it was if he had been touched by an angel or something…

I should be feeling sick to my stomach right now seeing him smile like this to me but no… it gave me a warm and calm feeling on my chest which I shouldn’t be feeling right now because he is my enemy and I should be angry at him.

He still waited for my answer though but I just don’t know how I would respond to him. As silence fell upon us and only the cheerful chirpings of the birds from my window made the morning so pleasant aside from these scrumptious foods in front of me, my mood just suddenly shifted into a more calming state. Ignoring his questions, I continued eating my breakfast while he silently watched me. 

I don't know, but I am suddenly feeling so scared that he just became so nice to me. 

We were both startled when the door opened and a guard came inside the room, his eyes went straight to Aster and then squinted on me. 

“Sandor. I told you not to get inside of this room—”

“I apologize, your Grace, but the mistress finally arrived from her long vacation. She demands your presence.” The guard he called Sandor bowed his head as he spoke to Aster and I watched Aster look a little upset. My eyes followed him as he stood from his seat and sighed deeply. Whoever that mistress they are saying, I guess Aster is not happy to meet that woman.

“I’ll go back. Eat well, princess,” he murmured to me as he turned his back from me and walked towards the door with bleakness in his eyes. I don’t know what happened but I feel like something is going on with that man. 

His mood is just so complicated to understand…

Few minutes after I finished my coffee, a small lady entered with a familiar face and I couldn’t do anything but stare at her because I can’t believe she’s still here.

“Nina!”