chapter 5: The Final Choice

         ~IVY ~

They said power would make me strong but no one told me it would make me dangerous. It started with a scream, One of the scouts, young, eager and was moving too fast through the trees.

He didn’t see the tripwire until it caught his ankle and pushed him back through the frost. His shout rang through the forest like thunder.

By the time we reached him, blood soaked the leaves. I didn’t think, i ran up to see what was going on. Ronan shouted for me to stop, but I didn’t hear him, not through the pounding in my chest.

The shadows moved before I called them. They shot forward like knives, slicing through the air, striking two wolves that hadn’t even shown their faces yet.

They fell screaming and that didn't make me feel satisfied, I wanted more than just bloodbath. I felt wrong and unsatisfied. Something inside me twisted, tightened and growing bigger from within, I felt excess power which made the shadows moved too fast and they didn’t retreat.

They wanted more.

I turn around, searching for the scout, Elias, barely breathing under a tree, his leg torn open. My hands shook as I dropped beside him.

“I’m here,” I said. He blinked, face pale. “Ivy…”

“I’ve got you.” I reached for him.

The moment my palm touched his wound, the mark on my wrist flared up shining bright and hot.

The shadows surged again through me and went straight into Elias. He screamed, his body jerked like lightning shot through it. His eyes rolled back.

Ronan dragged me away just in time. The boy collapsed not moving, the forest went silent. I fell to my knees, gasping, hands trembling like I’d held a live wire.

“What did I do?” I whispered. Ronan knelt beside me, one hand gripping my shoulder.

“You pushed too hard.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“He’s breathing.”

I looked at the boy again.

His chest rose barely but his hair had turned white like mine did that night in the ruins.

“Something’s changing,” I said. “In him,” Ronan answered. “Because of you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“You didn’t.”

“I almost killed him.” He didn’t deny it and that hurt more than if he had.

I stood up slowly, the shadows had vanished again but the air still felt wrong and heavy like something was watching.

“I’m not in control,” I said.

“Not yet.”

“What happens if I lose it again?”

“Then we’ll deal with it.”

“What if I don’t want you to?”

He didn’t blink. “I’ll stay anyway.”  My eyes met his and for the first time, I saw fear. Not of what I'm becoming but what's coming will rather change me for good or bad.

“You can’t save me,” I whispered.

“I’m not trying to,” he said. “I’m trying to remind you who you are before the power decides for you.”

I turned back to Elias, the boy who believed in me and I almost killed. I'm sure he's going to feel different now because of a touch I didn’t understand.

I clenched my fists. “I won’t lose again,” I said.

And the shadows moved softly beneath my skin.

I couldn’t leave the tent all night not after what happened to Elias. The others didn’t speak to me but their eyes said enough,  they feared me now.

Even the loyal ones.

Even the ones who swore they’d follow me anywhere.

They watched the tent flap like it might open and let a monster walk out.

Maybe they weren’t wrong.

The shadows curled low across the corners of the canvas, quiet and small.

I sat on the floor, arms around my knees, the sword Ronan gave me lying across my lap. I hadn’t touched it since the moment Elias screamed. I kept seeing his face, his eyes.

The way his hands reached for mine like I could help him and then the way his body jerked when I did.

I didn’t mean it.

But I did it.

I stared down at my palms, they looked like mine but they weren’t anymore. I touched the mark on my wrist.

The lines had thickened, the crescent wasn’t broken, now it was full and complete.

The moon had chosen me and I'm still yet to know why it did. The flap opened behind me.

Ronan.

He didn’t ask to come in.

He sat across from me, knees bent, arms resting on his thighs.

He didn’t speak.

Not right away.

That was something I liked about him. He didn’t fill the quiet unless it needed filling. Tonight, it did.

“I hurt him,” I said.

“He’ll live.”

“That’s not the point.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to be a weapon.”

“Too late,” he said. “You already are.”

I swallowed hard fearing the power within me, panick written all over my face. He leaned forward.

“You think I didn’t go through this?” I looked at him.

“What you carry,” he said. “It’s alive. And it wants to move. If you don’t feed it, it starves. You feed it too much, it drowns you.”

“So what’s the answer?”

“Balance.”

“How?”

“By deciding who you are before someone else does.” I looked at the sword again. “Killian already decided.”

“He doesn’t get the last word.” I blinked slowly.

The fire between us were shaken by the shadows.

“You’re afraid,” Ronan said. I nodded.

“Good.”

“Why?”

“Because people who aren’t afraid of power are the ones who lose themselves to it.” I closed my eyes and breathed faintly.

“Do you think I can control it?” I asked.

He didn’t hesitate. “I know you can.”

“But what if I don’t want it?”

“You do.”

“I don’t want the pain.”

“You already have it.” I opened my eyes.

“You want me to lead them,” I said.

“No,” he answered. “I want you to choose whether you will or not.” I held his gaze. And for the first time, I saw my reflection in his eyes. Not the broken or cursed version of me.

Just a girl learning how to carry her own fire.

        ~KILLIAN ~

I saw her again in my sleep. She stood at the edge of a cliff, barefoot, blood on her hands. Her back was to me, her hair lifted in the wind, and her voice.

She didn’t say my name.

She said “no.”

I woke with my fists clenched and sweat soaking the sheets.

I sat up, feeling scared. The dreams were getting worse. It wasn’t a nightmare but the truth.

Because in every one of the dream, she was moving further away. And every time, I still followed.

I paced the floor, one hand dragging down my face, jaw tight. 

The war was ready. The troops were stationed, scouts posted. Sentries moving across the borders like shadows.

And all I could think about was her.

Ivy.

What she looked like the day I threw her away and what she’d become since.

I thought I rejected her.

But all I did was light the fire she’d been hiding under her skin. And now it burned in every breath I took.

I walked to the mirror, took a good look at myself.

The Alpha.

The legacy.

The weapon they raised.

And I didn’t see power anymore.

I saw cracks.

Hairline running through bone and pride.My wolf wouldn’t settle.

He wanted her,  even after I cut the bond and I left her bleeding.

Blaine knocked once, then entered. He looked at me like he hadn’t slept either. “She’s moving west,” he said. “Ronan’s closing ranks.”

I didn’t turn. “Let him.”

“You want a direct hit?”

“No,” I said. “I want her to come to me.”

“She won’t come to you after everything you did to her.” Blaine said.

“She will.”

“She’s not the same girl, Killian.”

“I know.”

“That doesn’t scare you?”

“It should.” I faced him. “She survived me. That means something.”

He said nothing, just stared at me like he was looking for answers. “You still love her,” he muttered.

“No,” I said. But even I didn’t believe it.

Blaine left the room and I stood there in the dark, breathing hard, hands clenched at my sides.

Because I’d spent my whole life preparing for war.

And nothing had prepared me for losing her.

The next morning, the council were waiting for me in the chamber. Six of them stood at each side, they weren’t all warriors or loyal.

I knew the scent of fear when it filled a room.

And I could taste it now.

But it wasn’t mine.

It was theirs.

I stepped inside, boots heavy against the stone. The torches burned low. The council table sat between us like a warning. My place was at the head but tonight, I didn’t sit.

Blaine stood behind me silently and watching. Darian, one of the older advisors, cleared his throat. “The border wolves….”

“Are holding,” I said.

He blinked. “I wasn’t finished.”

“You were,” I cut in. “If they’re breathing, they’re mine.”

Another voice, Lucan, lean, younger, ambitious, spoke next. “She’s gathering soldiers. Quietly. From the lowlands. Ronan’s rallying old allies.”

“Good.” I said flatly.

“Good?” He asked.

“She’s making it easier.”

“For what?”

“For me to crush them in one sweep.”

Darian shifted in his seat. “You’re making this personal.”

I smiled.It didn’t reach my eyes. “It’s always been personal.”

“You’re risking everything over one girl.”

“She’s not a girl,” I said. “She’s the reason this war matters.”

“Because you want her back?”

Because I can’t stop seeing her every time I close my eyes.

Because I still feel her heartbeat when mine slows.

Because I never hated anyone the way I hate myself for walking away from her.

I didn’t say any of that.

I said, “Because she’s mine.”

Lucan leaned forward. “And if she doesn’t want to be?”

My wolf growled low under my skin, I stepped toward him fast.

He didn’t move away or challenge me.

“Then I’ll remind her.” Blaine tensed behind me.

Silence spread like oil across the stone.

“You’re not acting like an Alpha,” Darian said slowly.

“I’m acting like a man cleaning up a mistake.”

“You rejected her.”

“And now I take her back.”

“She won’t come.”

“Then I’ll bring the war to her doorstep.”

Lucan shook his head. “You’re letting obsession drive strategy.”

“No,” I said. “I’m letting obsession finish what fate started.”I turned to leave but paused at the door.

“If any of you think this ends with negotiations, you’re welcome to walk east and offer your throats.” No one moved and I feel satisfied.

Then I walked out.

Blaine followed.

Neither of us spoke until we reached the hall.

“You’re losing them,” he said quietly.

“I don’t need them to like me.”

“No,” Blaine muttered, “but you need them to stay.”

I looked down the corridor, where the banners hung, faded with time.

And I wondered if legacy was just another word for regret.