01 Should Have Ran

~Winter~

There is always a turning point in everyone's life, a defining moment when you know your life will never be the same again. It is either for good or worse, but a change will definitely occur, and you have no power over it.

That was when I stood at the altar with my fated mate, Alpha Brandon Knight of Hayland.

I wished I could snap my fingers and freeze the moment, but I had no such power; my only option was to live through it. 

My legs remained frozen on the spot.

I should run, a voice in my head kept telling me to bolt.

Kira, my wolf, had receded, this was for me alone. My moment, my fucking moment.

It was the bluemoon evening, and everything had gone wrong.

I should have figured it out; the signs were there. 

Denial is a vital coping mechanism, and I had adopted it all through, ignoring the signs and pushing on. 

The recent late nights, control, reluctance, missed calls, and unexplained absences. It was there, but I just kept going.

"What you don't know won't hurt you, Winter."

"Keep your eyes on the price, Winter,"

"He is ours. This is it. We can't lose. We can't fucking lose, Winter," I told myself over and over again.

I blocked my ears to the whispers and pushed on.

Why shouldn't I?

Brandon had no reason not to tell me the truth.

He was Alpha; for fuck sake, he owed me nothing. 

I was just a lowly gamma who ran a small orphanage with my best friend.

I mean, I was nobody. 

Brandon would have told me if something was wrong. We were fated.

It was supposed to be a sealed deal.

It was supposed to be done.

This shouldn't be happening now, but it was, and I was the object of entertainment.

I met Brandon when Summer and I moved our orphanage to Hayland.

The visit was to connect with the Alpha and join the community if they would have us.

It was love, or will I say ‘fated’ at first sight.

We clicked instantly.

Brandon was warm, kind and gentle. Falling for him wasn't difficult at all. He showered me with love. He convinced me it would work. We would work.

His mother, Pamela, was overjoyed. She talked of the future with grandchildren and always occupied my time. With the way she treated me, people would think I was her child.

She was eager to get things over with, but Brandon wanted to wait for the Bluemoon. I wasn’t a patient woman, but I agreed.

Brandon being an only child, Pamela wanted Brandon to have children so she could see her grandchildren and watch their bloodline grow. She was optimistic. 

Pamela would make me carry out Luna's duties and make small decisions. It was her way of preparing me for the position. 

It came at a cost, of course.

The bakery Summer and I ran together suffered.

Because I was always occupied with the Luna’s duties, Summer had to run the Bakery alone, and since our recipes were special, we couldn’t employ extra hands, and the children were too young to help out.

Our production output declined, causing a decline in income. We weren't making enough to pay the rent for the orphanage and feed the children anymore.

But it was okay, because Brandon took care of it.

In fact, he did more than we could afford, and since taking care of the orphans was part of the Luna's duties, depending on Brandon a little was okay. Right?

Summer and I weren't from Hayland; we were outsiders from Brighton, but fate had led us here, and together we were surviving.

Sometimes, I would trouble Brandon to get it over with, claim each other and move on.

We didn't need the Bluemoon to claim each other; we were fated, but he wanted to wait for the Bluemoon.

He said he learned it was more intense, and the connection we would make under its blissful light would be worth our while. 

He wanted it to be even more special than the first time we had made love. Brandon was a romantic and gentleman. Above all, he was devoted to his duty and his people.

The embargo on Hayland didn’t make his life easy, but he was forging on.

Waiting wasn’t easy because we had to fight the bond and the urge to claim ourselves.

Brandon had marked me with his scent just to calm both our wolves down.

I was always a fool around him. I couldn't think straight. It was as if all my smarts had departed from me and would only return once we were apart. 

I wasn't bothered about it.

The Bluemoon was closer than my twenty-first birthday, so it was okay. If I could wait two years before finding my mate, then a few months should be bearable. Shouldn’t it?

I kept myself busy within those months to pass the time, and as the bluemoon approached, I was giddy and nervous.

I thought Brandon was happy, too. I really did. 

I cannot force myself on anyone, so I thought being fated was a given, but I was wrong.

The morning of the wedding was strange. The atmosphere wasn't brimming with energy, and though I was happy, the joy that came with the anticipation of a joining eluded me. 

I searched for it, but it was nowhere to be found. I felt empty. That was my sign, but like I said, I was good at denial, and this was one of those moments.

I was an orphan, so I walked myself down the aisle. Brandon stood handsomely at the altar, waiting for me. 

I wanted to run to him. The gradual steps were taking forever, but I knew it was tradition. Did I mention that I wasn't the patient type?

 When I got to the altar, Brandon lifted my veil and looked at me with blue eyes. His mother was from the Southern region, where he got his blue eyes and blond hair, but the rest of his features were his father's.

He was very handsome, and I could not believe he was mine. 

I was smiling joyfully, holding the tears of happiness that threatened to fall. I dared not let them fall, or they would ruin my make-up. I doubted the make-up was waterproof, so I controlled my breathing to control the tears.

I guess I was a blind bitch because while all the emotions were coursing through me, I didn't notice the pain in Brandon’s eyes.

He wasn’t confident. The sadness and fear he tried to conceal were evident. I should have picked up on it. But I didn’t. It was our wedding, after all, and we were both at the altar. The rest could be resolved later. I would ask him what was wrong, and we would sort it out later, but not now, not during the wedding.

The officiator was about to begin when Brandon signalled him to stop.

It was a gentle gesture. He said it as if he forgot something which wouldn't affect the ceremony. He said it as if he wanted to compose himself before we proceeded, so I didn't think much of it, but when the silence lingered, and he did not signal the officiator to start, people began to murmur. 

His eyes looked misty. They were pleading with me to understand, but I couldn’t.

I couldn’t understand, and the foreboding that washed through me held me in its clutches, fixed to the spot.

I should have bolted. I should have spared myself what happened next. But being the slow bitch I was around Brandon, I stuck around for it.

I lingered for the entire thing, wanting to get to the bottom of it, hoping he would change his mind. Stupid, but that was me, always hopeful.

Brandon took my hands gently. He caressed my fingers, stroking them gradually and staring at me lovingly with tears streaming down his cheeks. There was a slight tremor in his hold as if he was forcing himself to do this.

“I love you, Winter. I love you so much, and I hope you will forgive me for this,” he linked me, and I was confused. I didn’t have the time to process his words. His eyes glazed over, which meant he was communicating with someone, and as if on cue, he began to speak.

"Winter, you are an amazing woman," he began and everywhere was silent.

"In the little time I have known you, I have seen your qualities. You have a big heart, and you are selfless. It is everything a pack will want for their Luna. Someone who will care for them, watch out for them and love them. You have all the qualities, Winter. My friends love you. My mother adores you, and the people accept you. Though you are new in Hayland, it is as if you have been here all your life. You blended in excellently and brought joy into the lives of the children at the orphanage, and I am forever grateful for that." He said, and I wondered why he couldn't wait until we were asked to say our vows. This sounded like him saying his vows unless I was delusional.

"fate tied us together. I don't know why, but it did. And you are an amazing gift, Winter, but you are not for me," he said, and the entire hall went utterly still. I went utterly still.

I felt something had hit me. This was the part where I should have bolted, but I had to stick around for it.

"I have spent two weeks contemplating this. I have tried rationalising it because I never want to hurt you, but we aren't compatible," He continued, and the tears fell from his eyes. Brandon was acting as if he was about to recite a script he had painfully memorised.

"I apologise in advance if anything I am about to say is hurtful. It is my truth, and I feel it best that you know it." He said and adjusted his stance, looking at me with cold, uncaring eyes, and I knew I was fucked.

I should have left, but I remained. I fucking stood there and took his shit.

"We aren't compatible, Winter. You are bland. You don't know how to have fun. You take life too seriously, and when we go out, you are so clumsy that you embarrass me. You do not know how to dress or behave publicly like a lady. You act as if you aren't educated. The worst part is your inadequacies rub on me. You say and do things a proper lady would never do," He said. I remained still; my feet wouldn't move. It was too good to be true, now I knew.