CHAPTER 2

In the midst of walking down the road, I passed a seminar in the capitol. The audience is high school students and the topic is career guidance. Probably for Grade 10 students entering K-12.

I suddenly missed the time when I was still in high school, when Mom and Dad were still with me. I've promised them that after ten or fifteen years, they will see me both on TV.

I'm dreaming of being a celebrity back then.

But things like that couldn't be able to happen. Far from the reality of my dream coming true... 'cause I'm meant to sustain that witches' needs. Maybe Aunt Gretchen was right when she told me that dreaming is only for the poor. She said that we are not poor, so I don't need to dream anymore.

My father is working abroad, doing hard work there just to make our life stable here in the Philippines. But instead of being happy, I'm not happy because like my father, I'm also suffering at the hands of his future wife.

I am tiring myself to work at home and work the sidelines at a fast food chain as a service crew, but I have nothing to receive, nothing to earn. As for Aunt Gretchen, I believe that she wanted me to work while being a student because the money that Papa sends is not enough... that is because of the luxury she and her daughter have.

That was still not enough, so she made me work, which I still did against my will. I keep at least ¼ of my salary in my bank for the sake of saving money for my personal needs. She caught a glimpse of that too.

"I really don't want to dream anymore."

When I finally got to our classroom, I found that our professor was already inside for the first period. That professor of mine really hates late comers, so I thought of a way so that she wouldn't see me entering the classroom.

I went behind, opened the door and threw my bag on Harold's chair.

"Just put it on my seat," I whispered to him.

Harold was so kind that he gave in and put the bag on my seat. The next thing I did was to sit while walking and enter the classroom, still in the back, and when I entered, I intended to show myself to the prof, going out of the classroom.

"Where are you going, Miss Desiderio?"

I faced her. "Just throwing a piece of trash." At the same time, I showed a crumpled paper that I picked up under the seats.

It made me nod. Mission success!

"Going back..." I paid a lot of attention to the prof. "Prepare yourselves for your upcoming On-the-job training. Recall the important lessons that you can use when you are in the field. I expect that in the past three years, you have learned a lot in your course... and those lessons should be equipped and used in the real world situation."

I'm a fourth year college student. My course is BSHM... they say it's a course for weak-minded people. Who else did that word come from if not from Aunt Gretchen? BA in Drama and Film is actually the course I would wish to take if only I could pass the entrance exam at my dream school. But I failed… that's why I fell under the course of BSHM.

This course is not for fools, that's just the mindset of that witch, Aunt Gretchen. Since Stacy's course is Journalism, which is why Aunt Gretchen has the confidence to insult my course and compare me with her daughter.

Gosh, what does that girl have to say? All that she knows is to gossip and make judgment toward people she hates.

"Go to my office so you can find out where you will do OJT." And just like that, she left the classroom.

It's our second semester and as I expected, we will only be doing OJT as well as our Feasibility Studies... which are individual. It's quite hard but with a little more patience, I will be able to graduate. Although this is not my dream course, I still want to appreciate the hard work I put in just to finish this degree.

And somehow, to make my father proud of me.

"Irene, don't I have free soft drinks there?" I should be out of the classroom, but Harold doesn't seem to have forgotten that I still owe him.

I laughed softly. "It's just soft drinks, huh."

"Go with a cheeseburger for lunch." I just nodded to him before we headed to the cafeteria.

My budget is still enough to treat him snacks and to buy soft drinks for myself. He even asked me why I didn't buy a burger for myself too... Well, I don't want my budget to be cut short.

"Why are you late for school now? You never used to be like that, eh."

"Books keeps me awake late at night," I excused myself.

But the truth is... my work keeps me working late at night. Because I'm always on the night shift, I go in at five o'clock, then go out at twelve o'clock in the morning. I was just able to go home and rest---that is if we don't have a pile of work to do.

Then in the morning, every time I come in, I spend my time commuting to school. I’ll walk out of our village and wait for a jeep until I reach the campus. We have a car, however, the case is that Aunt Gretchen would never dare allow me to use our car. She and Stacy are the only ones who have the right to use it... it’s like they are treating me like I'm not part of the family.

"You're still addicted to that," he said, chuckling. "I’m gonna go ahead, huh? Maybe my girlfriend was waiting for me at the gate. Be careful when you get home!"

I just followed Harold walking away from me. Four years of having him as a classmate, I'm not going to deny the fact that I once admired him... secretly. I never let him know my feelings for him because I knew it was far from the truth that he would like me back.

Now that he already has a girlfriend, the pain I'm suffering before has all vanished. Because I learn to accept that we are not meant for each other. That acceptance became my medicine to heal my broken heart.

—

Since it was still early before going to work, I went home to our house to hopefully fill my stomach. I didn't have breakfast this morning because I didn't have any rice to eat. Then a while ago I saved Harold the money that I was supposed to use to buy myself some foods to eat.

I was expecting to replenish my starving stomach... but like this morning I didn't get any rice. No rice and no side dishes.

"They didn't eat?" I asked at the back of my mind.

My own question was answered when I saw what they ate in the trash. They just ordered food from FoodPanda, they didn't even think of ordering me since I hadn't had anything to eat this morning.

Aunt Gretchen is really thoughtful.

"Yes, Mommy!" When I passed by the living room, Aunt Gretchen and Stacy came in just in time, carrying a large paper bag.

Looks like they squandered money for their worthless luxury again.

"I guess you're out early?"

"Auntie, why did you buy nonsense luxuries more than you would have bought rice so that I could eat something?"

"Are you ordering me around, Irene?"

I shook my head. "I'm just asking a question."

"We've spent all your money already." Stacy snorted in front of me. "Can you just use your money for now and buy grains of rice?"

"Are you even serious-"

"If you want to eat, buy food. There are many dishes there, you just buy food you eat." Aunt Gretchen poked my forehead. "Don't try my patience, huh? What I don't like is that you criticize me, you think that's how much I owe you. Don't wait for me to get angry. Get moving!"

They both left in front of me, while I was left stunned. Maybe because I was so annoyed with them, I just left the house. How can I buy grains of rice, when I have nothing. I will never spend the money I saved on my piggy bank. That's all I have!

Where I landed, I don't know. When I saw a chair, I approached it to sit down. I covered my face with my palms, letting the tears fall. I don't know if I did something wrong to be punished like this. My life with my father is perfectly fine even though my mother is gone.

It only started getting complicated when he met those witches. I've been fully content in my life before... but why isn't Papa? We were happy then, even if it was just us, why did he need to get married again?

"Hi." A giant teddy bear approached me to give me attention. With his shrill voice, my lips curved into a smile.  "You're sad?"

I quickly wiped my face. "Before... not until you approached me."

"Because I'm cute, right?" My smile widened when I heard his shrill laugh.

"If you don't mind, can I ask why you're wearing that? It's so hot, you're not getting to feel hot?"

"I don’t care about the warmth this costume makes me feel as long as I can accomplish my goal... to make someone as sad as you happy."

I bowed down. I didn't expect that there are people like him who are willing to make an effort just to make others happy. The world is full of sad people... and I'm truly grateful that a person like him/her still exists.

"You? What is your objective in life?"

What exactly? Do I have a goal in life besides breathing to live?

"To sustain my family's needs." I smiled bitterly.

I don't even want Aunt Gretchen for Papa, but I respect Papa's decision to remarry. Even against my will, I accepted them and considered them family. Yes, I hate them for mistreating me as if they don't know me, but opposite to my side. Like Papa said, they are my family. But I hope they... treat me like family too.

"Don't you have a dream for yourself?"

I looked at him, smiling defeated. "When people are satisfied with their lives, should they still dream?"

"If you are satisfied with your life now, why are you sad?"