The Awkward Silence

When we returned home, the situation was kind of tensed or what to say maybe sad. Well, my maternal grandfather (mother’s father) passed away. I was shocked from the news. I was attached to him. Although we did not live in the same house, I respected him. He also loved and cared about me. I went to see him for the last time with my family in his house. Whole way I was too quiet.  After I reached I saw that… that he was lying down lifelessly. When I saw him, I could not cry. I could not speak a word. I felt my heart heavy. I could not believe that he left us. I could hear crying sounds. Maybe people thought me heartless because I did not shredded a tear. But deep inside I knew how I felt. That after his ceremony, everyone went back to their places. I was in my room alone. I could not sleep. I did not eat anything also. I cried until late night and did not sleep before 3a.m.

The next day everyone was mournful. I did not go to school. Maybe I was really shocked that I did not go to school for more than a week. My parents also did not force me because they knew how much I was attached to my grandfather. So after mourning for a few days, I went back to my daily life. When I went school, everyone knew the reason why I was absent as my mom had informed the teacher about the loss in our family. So in class I could not understand what teachers were teaching because I had missed a lot. So I took notes from Alice every day and studied. Then, we had our test and I did okay in it. The days were back to normal.

 Then one day everyone in our class got an invitation for Samaira's elder brother's marriage. After taking my parents’ permission I was allowed to go. On that day, I tried my hard to look good. I wore the best dress in my closet. I and my friends had decided to meet at one place and go together. So we met and first we were all girls so we praised each other. It was also like a formality. Then I came to know Tyler was also going to the wedding after I saw him. He looked so handsome so charming that I was taken away by his looks for a few seconds. He was with other boys. Then everyone had eyed on Tanie. But no one spoke but Tyler said, “You’re looking beautiful today.” She blushed. Then other guys praised other girls. Saww praised Alice very much. Well no one praised me. But then one of them looked at me and said, “Oh, you are also coming with us?” I saw that no one had even noticed me until he said that. My eyes were wet but I did not let my tears come out. Then before I said something. Tanie said, “How can she not go to a party.” Everyone understood her. They literally meant how I cannot go where we eat delicious foods. Everyone laughed except Alice and I could see that Tyler was also fake smiling. I did not say anything but kept a fake smile on my face. Then Alice spoke up and said we should buy something. Then we bought a bouquet and some gifts after combining all of ours money and went to the destination by bus. Well when getting off from the bus the boys got off first and Tanie was in front of me I was the last one and one of the guys gave her a hand to get off from the bus. I thought he would give me a hand also but they went. Then I just slapped my head slowly and got off.

We were welcomed by Samaira and her family, we congratulated the couple and gave gifts and took photos. Then while we were eating, someone noticed my plate and said, “Just take how much you want to it right now. It would be inconvenient to take food again.” He said that because he thought I had less food on my plate. But although I was fat I never ate so much like they thought. So I just said, “Okay.” After eating everyone was dancing. I sat alone in a corner and watched them dance. Then in the middle Alice was trying to pull me, I was denying her. Then suddenly Saww came and said, “Don't force her.” One of the guys listened and added, “If she dances this place will turn into dust soon.” I felt sad, angry when I heard that. Alice also did not bother me anymore. I was alone in that corner. I could not control my tears so I went to bathroom and went in one of the box and cried. I cried without making any noise. After crying for a while I stopped and went back after adjusting my face. They were still dancing, so I stayed in that corner again. Everyone enjoyed.

As it was already 8p.m., when we were about to leave so we were sent by Samaira's uncle from cabs and we decided to take the cab to the place we met before. Then we parted ways from there. Tyler, me and Alice our homes were on the same way. So we walked together. Firstly Alice's home came. We shared our goodbyes and then I walked with Tyler. Then I felt an awkward silence between us. We just walked side by side. Then suddenly a bike with full power just passed by me as Tyler pulled me towards his side. We were really close when he pulled me as he protected me. I was shocked at first but then I thanked him. Then he changed sides and we walked again in awkward silence until his home came. I was about to say him Bye but before I spoke he said, “I will walk you to your house.” I thought it would be inconvenient for him so I said its okay and denied. But then he said in a calm voice, "I saw how you are on roads. So it will better if I will walk with you. And it is already night so it will also be safe if I walked you home.”

 I don't know why but I felt his voice sexy and also felt safe with him when he said that. In my heart I was really happy. Well my all senses were always active when I am on road but today because he was with me I was careless. I felt thankful to him because I was also afraid to walk alone at night on that road. Then I said jokingly, “It is always safe for people like me whether it is day or night.” I just meant that who would take risk to tease a fat girl. He did not say anything and then we again walked in silence until we reached the path that led my home. Then, I took the initiative and said, “Thank you for walking me home.” Well he knew where my house was because his brother and my sister were friends. So he knew somehow. He said, “No problem, Bye then.” I again said, “Go back properly. Take care. Good night. Sweet dreams. Bye” He laughed lightly and said, "You too" and returned. I was back and was a little happy. Because it was my first time I was out with my friends this late and also because Tyler was there. Well my parents were worried because it was late but was relieved when they saw me. Then I told then the party was fun and wished them goodnight and went to my room. At night all the memories flashed since Alice went home and I and Tyler walked in that awkward silence. I felt it was kind of romantic. But again I remembered other painful memories and I cried my heart out and slept.