Uncertain

As she was walking out of there, something suddenly came through her mind. She kept thinking to herself about what she and Kurt agreed to, their terms and agreements about each other’s side. 

She was thinking if she had forgotten to say something to him, she was having second thoughts as well. Annika wasn’t sure if she would still continue with their little deal, she was wondering if Kurt was having second thoughts as well. “When he said that I was one of a kind earlier back at the bar, I felt like I was special for once. But did he really mean it? I wonder if he was lying or not, but why do I care anyway? He and I met a few hours ago, I don’t even know anything about him, why would I care about what he thinks about me? Is this seriously happening right now? Why do I even care about whether he meant what he said earlier or not? That’s because I don’t, I don't care about a single thing he said or will say in the future about me. I only care about the source of income and how he’s going to treat me, since our relationship would just be made to pretend to deceive her mother.” She thought to herself. 

She isn’t usually like this, Annika is a woman that has a very high self-confidence, none of the people that came across her could topple her down other than herself and her mind.  

“Then whatever happens between us is nothing, no feelings will be involved because that’s how I see it fit. If either of us develops feelings for one another, just a single hint of realism, I will personally make sure that we end our fake relationship whether he likes it or not. Oh, I should remember to tell him that earlier, he must know that feelings aren’t allowed in a fake relationship. That’s what makes it fake, everything that’s going to happen between us is nothing, it would all be a show to deceive everyone around us. And yes, I know that it’s wrong, but I need to do this for my sister. I’m not doing this for my benefit, everything I’m doing at the moment is for my sister and her lawyer fees. I want to make sure that she gets out of there because I want to see her again, I will not stand by and just watch my sister rot in prison. Nope, that will never happen as long as I am breathing, if my family isn’t going to do anything about it, then I guess it’s just up to me to make sure that I get her out of there” Annika thought to herself as she was walking out of the bar. 

Annika was  the only person that could give her a confidence boost in dire times because she is the only one she trusts wholly, she would never trust Kurt even in a billion years because she doesn’t know him at all, even if he did look and sounded like a gentleman to  Annika. She knows better than to trust strangers that are unusually friendly to her, especially when it happens so suddenly. “Kurt, you better not pull anything while we’re on this little deal, if you try as much as blackmail me about anything. I will make sure that your mother knows everything between us and what you’re doing.” Annika said to herself as she looked around if anyone was looking at her or not.

Even with a huge self confidence, she still manages to think about things that are out of her control. But at most times, she would get past them after a day or so. 

What’s happening to Annika at the moment is that her mind is trying to tell her to back out of their little deal since she was thinking that it was too risky because she doesn’t know what would happen in the end if she would continue down her current path. 

Annika sometimes becomes too paranoid from her surroundings, she doesn’t know how to control herself and she doesn’t know how to make it all stop other than just think about it more until the thought actually passes by.  “What else could I have forgotten to tell him? I cannot leave any single possibility or flaw in our deal because he could actually turn the tide to his favor, and I am not going to let that happen. I am not going to let someone else take advantage of me just because they think they can, I may not be as rich as him, but I know that I am more honest as a person than he’ll ever be. Hopefully, blackmailing people isn’t his thing and he wouldn’t even try to attempt one at all, but if he does. Then I have to be ready because, I cannot trust someone I just met a couple of hours ago, maybe even shorter. He may look charming and sound charming as well, but I don’t know what’s happening inside that little mind of his, since he doesn’t have any hesitation of deceiving his mother, then that means he won’t hesitate to get rid of me by any means necessary since to him, I’m just a stranger that no one even notices. But, to him, I’m also unique… No, whatever he said was a lie because you cannot know someone that well just by looking at them.” She thought to herself as she became more and more cautious and paranoid about everything that was happening to her. 

Everything was just happening too fast for Annika, she couldn’t handle the situation any longer,  which was why she chose to close herself up for the time being and actually have time to figure out what she’s going to do to make sure that nothing bad happens to her during her little deal with Kurt. 

She is thinking every single possibility of how everything could end up, Annika was making sure that none of the bad ones that she was thinking would actually happen. And so, she started to come up with plans in her head, a simple deterrent if something were to go wrong with her deal with Kurt. 

Annika kept thinking about what he said to her before the two agreed to their little deal. “Who does he think he is? Does he think that I, of all people, would even like him enough to actually have feelings towards him? Someone like me even fall in love with him? Argh, he wished, he’s not even enough to make me fall in love with him even if he did all he could to shower me with every love and affection he has to offer. Nope, that’s not ever going to be enough because I already know his likes. He is a shallow man who would only think about himself when push comes to shove, he’s lucky that I need the money right now or else I wouldn’t even be considering our little deal. I can’t believe he would even tell me not to fall in love with him! I pity the woman who one day actually falls in love with a shallow man like him.” She thought to herself as she felt a little frustrated from what Kurt said to her before he hung up the phone. 

She felt like he was way out of line when he said to not fall in love with him in their agreement because Annika was already thinking about the same thing the moment he asked her to be his girlfriend, even if Kurt was one of the most charming and perfect man in the entire world, Annika still felt ill about him. 

Although Kurt’s request was unusual and quite surprising to Annika, he thought that it was only fair that feelings shouldn’t get involved with their deal because if feelings were to get involve, then their whole purpose of entering a fake relationship would be nothing because they would care for one another rather than just turning themselves into a show to make his mother to leave him alone. 

Annika felt like she was being taken for granted, but she knew better and even got ahead of Kurt. In her mind, he was already the villain in her story, even though he is the one helping her through her financial crisis. “He wished that I would actually fall in love with him, but in reality, he would just be another one of them boys that would just stand out in the background and just be a side character to make way for the main character. He may be the one helping me at the moment, but I won’t let anyone tell me what to think or what to do because I know that I am my own person and no one else could make me anything else.” She thought to herself as she talked a little ill about Kurt.