Chapter Three

Fear..and Excitement. Is There A Difference?

Yavonne

Yavonne had never been so satisfied with herself. Not only did she get his attention, but she peaked some other interests as well. The way he wore his expressions. she saw his lust for her displayed in his amazing eyes, and his member reacted just as quickly as well. The way he looked at her invoked two emotions which clashed together to soak her panties with equal vigor. She did, in some way fear him. any 17-year-old boy who had that much confidence should be feared, but matched alongside the fear was excitement. He wasn't like most boys their age, or even the older men who had wanted her, he didn't clumsily attempt to flirt or blush, he was in no way apologetic. Somehow..he still even looked mad while his eyes roamed down her then back up. She didn't want to say anything, they didn't need to exchange names or make plans, after all she may not be here tomorrow.

Instead, she walked off, matching the pace of the crowd, and stopped in a doorway to an empty classroom to listen in hopes of hearing a name. sadly, she couldn't catch anything over the noise of students clomping past like a heard of elephants, so she abandoned any further pursuit for the day, but the sense of accomplishment lasted, and left her smiling all day. Unfortunately, smiling apparently made her look all the more approachable, and that’s when she started to wonder if maybe her charms were wearing off?

She lost herself in memory trying to pin more strength. She was smiling as she bounced from the back doors of the school, Giddy with excitement. night swims had always been one of her favorite things to do. The moon and the water soaking into her bare skin, the silence and absence of the mechanical world, it all felt so intimate, so raw yet somehow still tender.

She was lost in thought when she felt eyes on her, she paused to look around, and to her delight realized it was him. She couldn't see his face from this distance, but he was quickly slowing down in his big grey truck, another boy in the passenger’s seat. Oh, she had gotten his attention. with another come get me smile she turned to go, hoping to leave him in the same confusion. she didn't look back again until she was rounding the path that led to sidewalk, well away from the main road he had been on. Then the shock settled in. Her charms had to be wearing down. Not only were people starting to notice her, but someone remembered her. Hours after one brief interaction, he remembered her.

Dread settled deep into her skin, her heart thundering painfully until she felt like her skin might tear and let it leap loose onto the sidewalk. She had to do something, so she broke into a run. All the way home her feet pounded against sidewalk, road side, grass, and finally the wood of her small porch. she unlocked her apartment door and swung it open to stomp inside and slam it, leaning back against it a second later panting. A few seconds passed before she erupted into laughter.

Two things were very clear.

1. Somewhere along the way she had convinced herself she was being chased.

2. She was very out of shape, and if she was being chased, the unknown thing most definitely would have caught her.

She slid down slowly to sit, the door propping her up as she splayed her legs out Infront of her. She laughed still, laughed fully and deeply until her sides hurt. Until she cried from laughing, then cried from the memories her laughter brought. Her mother had always loved to make her laugh, which wasn't hard. Yavonne found little things amusing, and once she started it was hard to stop. her mom would joke that she was going to break a rib. but eventually she would giggle too. in that way, Yavonne could usually make things better. Not everything. but some things.

She stayed there a while, in the floor crying and giggling. For once glad she lived alone, glad no one was there to intrude. It felt nice to just...Let it out. so much of this has been controlled. contained. it was hard sometimes to remember that 3 short years ago, she was in a large full of people, full of food and conversation, just...full. The more memories she allowed to pass behind her tightly closed eyes, the more her chest ached. Instead, she pulled herself up and forced herself to get a bag ready.

One of the perks of her constant moving was that she didn't have much stuff which meant it didn't take much cleaning, one of the downsides of it was that she had to keep up with her routine. with only 6 outfits, and just enough dishes for her she couldn't miss laundry or dishes for even a day, or it pretty well threw off everything. Also..her hygiene items and 3 outfits stayed packed In case she needed to leave, so using them meant putting them right back.

at 6 she threw her bag over her shoulder, just some left over school food, a blanket and lighter inside. Getting a Taxi in this town was a feat all its own. Not only were they expensive when she had little funds, but because there was no other form of public transportation, they often took a while to show up. It was almost 7 before she left her apartment to clamor into the back of the musky car. The taxi driver an older man with greying hair and a slowly balding head, smiled and provided light conversation the whole way, unlike most not seeming nosy at all. She couldn't help but smile anyways.

Sometimes this town had its gems. These happy little old men were littered everywhere to brighten the day. Unlike most they didn't ask a whole lot of questions, just supply some comments and jabbered on, splashes of accent, making the conversation hard to fallow, but he didn't mind.

Those moments were simple, when she could just live in that moment, because she probably wouldn't see him again. Even in a town this small, when you didn't venture into town often, people found it much easier to forget you.