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Chapter Nine: The first kiss
Last Updated:
2025-04-09 08:41:05
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When loving you meant losing me Chapter Ten: Two hearts, one beat
I swing open the bath room door and stepped back into the room—I froze.My eyes shot wide. I spun around so fast I nearly tripped. Heat creeping up my neck—my cheeks flushed.He stood there, one brow lifted, lips curled in a smug smile. He didn’t flinch. He stood like a goddamn statue—perfectly carved .Jayden chuckled behind me..."There's nothing new to see here" he drawl. His voice thick with amusement."Put something one" I hissed, dragging in a shaky breathe—my eyes glued to the wall. His footsteps paded across the room. Then warm hands landed on my shoulder—turning me around gently.Before I could protest, he guided me to sit on the bed and nudged a take out box towards me."Not now, you need to eat" he said softly.The scent hit me—Chicken and chips. My stomach growled. I could not wait—I tore the package open and stuffed chips into my mouth like I hadn’t just been naked in front of him.I glanced up—and froze. My breath hitched. I was still naked. My arms wrapped around my c
Last Updated : 2025-04-12When loving you meant losing me Chapter Eleven: The Unexpected
The drive back home stretched longer than expected—every minute dragged out longer than the last. I stared out of the window, the city passing by in a blur, memories of our time together flooded my mind.He had told me to wear his shirt back home—he loved how it looked on me. I listened without protesting. When the Uber he ordered arrived, I didn't want to go back home but I had to leave—his cousin was returning home soon.Jayden’s shirt clung to my body, it was a reminder of what we’d shared. But it was more than just a piece of clothing to me—it felt safe.I slumped against the car seat—staring out the window absent-minded. The faint scent of his cologne lingered in the air, warm and familiar, clinging to the shirt like it was taunting me. Every time the wind brushed against my skin, it felt like his touch again—soft, lingering.I step into the building, my eyes scanning the building. I hesitated in the hallway, steps slowing as I glanced around. If Ava saw me like this, she would
Last Updated : 2025-04-13When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twelve: My reality
"Mom..." I yelled. "He's here," she said quickly. Then I heard it—my dad’s voice. An uncontrollable wail burst out of my mouth, loud and messy. "Shh, I’m fine, my daughter." "Can you hear my voice?" he added, his tone light, almost playful, like nothing had happened. But I couldn’t calm down. My vision blurred again. My thoughts spiraled. What if he broke an arm? A leg? What if something was torn or fractured and they were lying to me just to keep me from panicking? My mind wouldn’t stop. I was sobbing so hard my lungs ached. Ava stood beside me, gently rubbing my shoulder. She leaned in to eavesdrop on the conversation, her eyes starting to tear up. “Dad, where are you?... Just go to the hospital,” I begged, sniffling. “I’m fine, honey. I don’t have a single scratch,” he said. His tone sharper than I expected. That was so like him. Mr. Tate—always insisting he was fine. Always brushing things off, even when they were clearly serious. He would do what ever he wanted t
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The morning sun filtered through the curtains softly—but it didn’t warm me. My body moved lazily, but my heart was in a mess.The weight of what happened yesterday still beared down on me. I dragged myself out of bed, changed into something decent, and grabbed my bag and file. Outside, the world continued like nothing had happened but I felt like I was still in a void—an emotional wreck. Classes had already started rounding up because of the exams. I sprint towards my department to catch up with submission of assignment. My head throbbed. My mind wandered. I had other assignments to submit, presentation to prepare for, and—of course—my final research paper to finalize. It seemed like my world was coming to an end. My phone which was my only support to type was going bad and really fast. After class, I went straight to my supervisor’s office. The paper was already a patchwork of sleepless nights and last-minute edits. I had made over a thousand corrections since the semester began
Last Updated : 2025-04-14When loving you meant losing me Chapter One: Two heartbeats
The ultrasound room smelled like antiseptic and something faintly metallic. The walls were white—too white, I kept starring at the walls like it was comforting.The doctor’s chair creaked slightly as he adjusted the monitor. His face was unreadable, a practiced mask of neutrality, like he had delivered this news a thousand times beforeWell it was supposed to be a good news, that's why he delivered it with a smile on his face.But to me, this wasn’t routine. This was life-changing.The gel was cold against my skin, but I barely felt it. My fingers dug into the edge of the examination table, I gripped it thightly till my knuckles turned white, my heartbeat so loud it drowned out everything else.“You okay?” The doctor’s voice was calm, maybe he had read my body language or saw how tightly I gripped the bed.I nodded slowly, even though nothing about this felt okay, I tried so hard to control the tears that were welling at the back of my eyes.The room was silent except for the steady
Last Updated : 2025-03-21When loving you meant losing me Chapter Two: The beginning of us
"Who was that guy beside you?" I asked, smiling secretly."Who?" Bianca looked at me cluelessly."The one you were standing next to. Isn’t he your friend?""I don’t even know who you’re talking about. I was just standing there searching for you," she said, smiling."What guy are you talking about?" Bianca asked again, trying to understand."Let me show you."I turned her face toward him, subtly pointing at the guy in question. He stood there, looking uninterested—like he'd rather be anywhere but here Jayden, Biance barely spared him a glance"I don’t know who that is, madam. Focus on your assignments," she said, giving me a funny, judgmental look."Never mind," I responded and went back to my seat, still smiling.I had arrived at school early and was waiting for Bianca. Every time I called, she claimed she was almost there. When I turned to look behind the hall, I finally spotted her standing—but someone beside her immediately caught my attention.Thump... thump... thump... My heart p
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Time crawled. I checked my phone for the hundredth time. Bianca had disappeared, and the hall was nearly empty. I replayed everything that just happened in my head over and over again That perfect opportunity, did I blow it, maybe I should have said something else My heart wouldn’t stop it erratic beating. What did I say, should I have said something else? A million conversations ran through my head, each more cringe worthy than the last. Hey, I noticed you standing there looking like a Greek god, and I’d like to volunteer as tribute? No. That would have sounded too desperate. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again? Absolutely not. No....no...no I groaned softly, gripping my pen so hard as if it was the reason for my frustrations. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, But I enjoyed it, I didn't know I had it in me You go girl, I gave myself a high-five. I tried to continue writing my note but my thoughts kept derailing. What if
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The rest of the week dragged by slowly, each day blending into the next. Jayden and I kept talking on the phone and texting about the most random things. He never mentioned anything about his feelings—if he liked me or not. He never answered my question on how I got him.The only thing I ever got was don't rush to things, slowly my frustration was building.It felt like I had known him for years, like we had some unspoken connection that made conversations effortless. We didn’t have to search for topics—they just flowed. It was easy. Natural.Before I knew it, Friday had arrived. I was both excited and sad. Excited because the weekend was approaching, and sad because Fridays were my longest days in school. I had afternoon classes that stretched till 6 PM, and as a final-year student, the workload was suffocating. I was on edge, exhausted from the endless cycle of lectures, assignments, and deadlines. I just wanted this semester to end so I could tell myself, Only one more left. Just
Last Updated : 2025-03-21
Latest chapter
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirteen: All I needed
The morning sun filtered through the curtains softly—but it didn’t warm me. My body moved lazily, but my heart was in a mess.The weight of what happened yesterday still beared down on me. I dragged myself out of bed, changed into something decent, and grabbed my bag and file. Outside, the world continued like nothing had happened but I felt like I was still in a void—an emotional wreck. Classes had already started rounding up because of the exams. I sprint towards my department to catch up with submission of assignment. My head throbbed. My mind wandered. I had other assignments to submit, presentation to prepare for, and—of course—my final research paper to finalize. It seemed like my world was coming to an end. My phone which was my only support to type was going bad and really fast. After class, I went straight to my supervisor’s office. The paper was already a patchwork of sleepless nights and last-minute edits. I had made over a thousand corrections since the semester began
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twelve: My reality
"Mom..." I yelled. "He's here," she said quickly. Then I heard it—my dad’s voice. An uncontrollable wail burst out of my mouth, loud and messy. "Shh, I’m fine, my daughter." "Can you hear my voice?" he added, his tone light, almost playful, like nothing had happened. But I couldn’t calm down. My vision blurred again. My thoughts spiraled. What if he broke an arm? A leg? What if something was torn or fractured and they were lying to me just to keep me from panicking? My mind wouldn’t stop. I was sobbing so hard my lungs ached. Ava stood beside me, gently rubbing my shoulder. She leaned in to eavesdrop on the conversation, her eyes starting to tear up. “Dad, where are you?... Just go to the hospital,” I begged, sniffling. “I’m fine, honey. I don’t have a single scratch,” he said. His tone sharper than I expected. That was so like him. Mr. Tate—always insisting he was fine. Always brushing things off, even when they were clearly serious. He would do what ever he wanted t
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Eleven: The Unexpected
The drive back home stretched longer than expected—every minute dragged out longer than the last. I stared out of the window, the city passing by in a blur, memories of our time together flooded my mind.He had told me to wear his shirt back home—he loved how it looked on me. I listened without protesting. When the Uber he ordered arrived, I didn't want to go back home but I had to leave—his cousin was returning home soon.Jayden’s shirt clung to my body, it was a reminder of what we’d shared. But it was more than just a piece of clothing to me—it felt safe.I slumped against the car seat—staring out the window absent-minded. The faint scent of his cologne lingered in the air, warm and familiar, clinging to the shirt like it was taunting me. Every time the wind brushed against my skin, it felt like his touch again—soft, lingering.I step into the building, my eyes scanning the building. I hesitated in the hallway, steps slowing as I glanced around. If Ava saw me like this, she would
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Ten: Two hearts, one beat
I swing open the bath room door and stepped back into the room—I froze.My eyes shot wide. I spun around so fast I nearly tripped. Heat creeping up my neck—my cheeks flushed.He stood there, one brow lifted, lips curled in a smug smile. He didn’t flinch. He stood like a goddamn statue—perfectly carved .Jayden chuckled behind me..."There's nothing new to see here" he drawl. His voice thick with amusement."Put something one" I hissed, dragging in a shaky breathe—my eyes glued to the wall. His footsteps paded across the room. Then warm hands landed on my shoulder—turning me around gently.Before I could protest, he guided me to sit on the bed and nudged a take out box towards me."Not now, you need to eat" he said softly.The scent hit me—Chicken and chips. My stomach growled. I could not wait—I tore the package open and stuffed chips into my mouth like I hadn’t just been naked in front of him.I glanced up—and froze. My breath hitched. I was still naked. My arms wrapped around my c
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Nine: The first kiss
Jayden jiggles the key before the lock finally gives in—the door swings open and we step in. The ambience is welcoming and warm, A studio apartment with a single bed—neatly made by the window. I quickly scan the room—the tiled floor is neat and not a single thing was out of place. Jayden lighly settles on the small of my back guiding me forward towards the bed— I sit on the bed suddenly aware—we are alone. "Let me help you with that" his fingers brush my neck as he slides my bag strap off my shoulders and place it on the table. Thumb.... My heartbeat hammered against my in cage. I could barely catch my breath. The bed dips under his weight as he sinks down be side me—close enough that our knees touch. I let out a laugh—. Starring at the wall— avoiding Jayden's eyes. I might do something stupid if I start into those tempting eyes that look like they wanted to pierce into my soul. "You don't have to pretend with me" his voice quiet "Feel at home" he says squints closer. I sudden
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Eight: One visit
I tore through my wardrobe in a desperate search, fabrics rumpled as I tossed aside options. Too formal. Too clingy. Too… desperate. My fingers brushed the black dress—the one that hugged every curve—and I held it up to the light. Nope. Too needy. A flush crept up my neck as last week’s memory flashes—his arms around me, the way I felt his breathe against my ear. Just a hug. Just a fleeting moment that had made all my senses come alive. I grabbed the trousers and t-shirt instead. I wanted the casual and unbothered look. Like I didn’t spend an hour searching for the perfect outfit. Four weeks had passed. One month of consistent calls and texts that left my stomach in knots and kept me yearning for more. Jayden insisted on taking things "slow," but every glance felt like a silent message. Tonight, though—tonight his home, his voice, his smile— I yanked open another drawer. Choosing an outfit had never been this difficult —Why was this so hard? Jayden’s voice from last night’s call
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Seven: Fluttering hearts
My conversation with Jayden from the previous day echoed in my mind as I dressed for college. His voice had been softer than usual. What was it he said about being hurt before? About not wanting a relationship? Did he have a past he didn’t want to talk about? Or was he just not into women? I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I rummaged through my wardrobe, searching for the perfect outfit. I Wanted to look effortlessly stunning—school edition. If he saw me today, I wanted him to want me. Since it was Monday, I decided on a corporate look—a pair of wide-leg pants, a chic shirt, and sleek shoes. I put extra effort into my hair, glossed my lips generously, and when I looked in the mirror, I smirked. "Ooouwiii, that’s a hottie right there,” I murmured to myself. Who wouldn’t fall? My first class was at eight, then another at twelve. It was going to be a long day, but the thought of seeing Jayden made it better. When I stepped outside, Ava—my friend and neighbor—gasped.
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Six : Fear of falling
Talking to Jayden became part of my days, from morning calls to afternoon texts and late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours. It was the perfect beginning. Our conversations flowed effortlessly, as if we had known each other forever. I was falling deeper and deeper, unable to resist the pull of his presence. He would share details of his day, update me on every little thing he was doing, and I found myself reciprocating. At this point, I felt like I was already his girlfriend, though he hadn’t asked me out yet. The waiting was unbearable. One evening, we found ourselves talking about relationships. I don’t know if it was the way his voice softened or the way his words landed too close to home, but I felt exposed in a way I hadn’t before. “I didn’t want anything serious before I met you,” he admitted. "I was done with love. I just wanted to focus on making money, graduate, and get better at programming" "A relationship wasn’t on my list. I've been hurt
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Five: Between the lines
I told myself it didn’t matter. That I wasn’t entitled to an explanation.I thought about it the whole time I was walking back home from school.He wasn’t my boyfriend.But no matter how many times I repeated it, the thoughts refused to settle. I knew what it meant for a guy like Jayden to spend the night at a girl’s house. The way he dismissed it so casually… was she just a fling?Or was I?My stomach twisted every time I thought about it.We weren’t dating, yet it still hurt like hell.I wasn’t waiting for his message. I told myself that over and over again. But each time I picked up my phone out of habit, of course—I found myself checking for his name.Nothing.Frustrated, I tossed my phone aside and tried to focus on something else. Anything else.Just when I was about to give up, my phone buzzed.His name lit up my screen.Jayden: Hey, what’s up?I stared at the message, a million thoughts racing through my mind. Was he texting me from her house? Had he just left? Or was she
