2. Wild Accusations

I shook my head and glared at him. "What? I'm already devastated over here, and now I feel insulted! After three long years together, how can you stand there and say something so cruel? Why do you think so cruelly of me, Holland? All I ever tried to be to you is a good wife. 

With disdain on his face, he looked at me and walked away.

I stood there crying and confused by the accusation that was being hurled at me. I couldn’t believe he said I married him for his money.  I was utterly shocked at the hurtful words coming out of his mouth. Is the man I married?  What I heard coming out of his mouth tonight was unlike anything I’d ever heard from Holland.  I looked at him with a sad expression. I couldn’t help it; the pain was so deep. 

“Your words are fake, and all this crying is pretense!”

“Don’t say that it isn’t true. I love you, Holland.” I broke down and sobbed even more.

“You know what I’m telling you? It’s true. You are no different from all the other women. Sure, you did all that sweet talk when we first met. Spewing lies about how you love me and that money didn't matter. But you are just like the rest of the girls out there in the streets. Seeking to find and trap rich men for their looks, power, and money! You don’t care about who I am on the inside. You don’t care about my opinions or beliefs. You just care about what kind of lifestyle I can give you.” 

My hand reached out, taking hold of Holland's hand as he slung mine from his. "Baby, don't do this; listen to me! Please, Holland! I care for you so deeply. None of what you are saying about me is true. Holland, you know I married you because I love you! But you are the one who thinks you know what I want. You are always throwing money at me like that’s going to solve our problems. 

“Because that’s all you really care about, Amanza! Won't you just admit it? " he said, walking away from her. “You're nothing but a user, Amanza!”

She couldn't let him go. Her lips parted to say how much she loved him, but the look in his eyes as he turned to face her made her pause. "Take that back! You don't mean that, Holland!" she cried in a fir.

" I mean every word I'm saying."

"Stop it! Holland, Stop it! Money from you is not what I want. If you’re not going to show up for our anniversary, write me a check, and I hope I’m happy with that! Then you are dead wrong, Holland!  You have no reason to accuse me of being some gold digger! I’m insulted by that!”

He picked up my glass of red wine off the coffee table and drank it

“You don’t care about my opinions or beliefs. All you’ve ever cared about is the lifestyle I can give you. 

Want you just admit it, Amanza! You don't love me at all. I already know that you cheated on me with other men.”

“What! That’s not true! Why are you accusing me of cheating?”

“Oh, you want evidence! I got the evidence,e Amanza! You’ve been caught red-handed!”

Holland took a stack of photos, and as I reached for them, he threw them at me. The photos fell to the floor. I stood there in shock for a moment. Then I picked up the pictures and saw it was me.  

“Who is that man, Amanza? And you say you love me.” He scoffed. “Don't I have the right to say something about my wife being out with another man? ”

I scanned through the photos. “Oh my goodness! You've been spying on me? Holland, you don’t trust me? I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“That’s right. You are always leaving out of here and talking about you meeting a friend. You are a liar! You were meeting this silver fox!” He picked up one of the pictures on the floor. “You even let this man kiss you!” 

“Holland, sweetheart, it’s not what you think. This man I’m having dinner with is not some silver fox. This charming gentleman kissing me on my cheek is Clinton, my father.” 

“I would never cheat on you. My father had come into town, and I was spending time with him, and we were having an innocent lunch, that's all.” 

“I don’t want to hear the lies, Amanza! You know as well as I do that this marriage was nothing more than an arrangement by my grandfather. You might have fooled my grandfather into thinking you are a good woman. But you’re not fooling me any more. Now I know the truth!” He snorted at the silver-haired man in the photo, tossing it on the coffee table. “I now know you prefer men a bit more… older, " he said sarcastically.

“Please, please, baby believe me. I told you who that man is; I don’t have any reason to lie to you. I’ve been nothing but faithful to you. Trust me, it's all a misunderstanding. You are the only man I’ve been with these three years. I love you.  Holland baby,  is this why you were out with Susie? 

“Don’t try to turn this around on me now that you have been busted!”

“Holland! Tell me! What is she to you? Why were you with her on our anniversary? I saw you at the restaurant giving her flowers and hugging that woman instead of me." I cried, needing and wanting answers, and that’s when Holland's phone rang. 

“Hello,” Holland says, glad for the distraction.

"Hey, it's me, Susie. Can you come over?" 

"Are you listening to me, Holland? Who are you on that phone with?”

"Hold on one second.” Holland leaves out of the room with me for privacy.

“Was that your wife, I heard? Can you talk now?”

“Yes. What’s up?”

“Can you come over, baby?" 

“Sure, how are you feeling?" 

"Not so good. I feel sad. Especially since you’re not by my side." 

"I'll be there; give me twenty minutes," Holland says as he hangs up the phone and goes back into the living room to face Amanza, who is balling tears. 

"Who was that? Was she calling you? I have the right to know. What is happening here?”

 I stood there begging Holland, “You are the only man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Please don’t do this to us. Why are you hurting me this way?”

Holland said, “Look, I got to go see Susie.”

“What!  Don’t go, Holland, don’t go. This is our anniversary. Doesn’t that mean anything?  Holland, do you still feel for this woman after all this time?” 

“She needs me right now.”

"Oh my God, I feel sick. This isn't happening." His words and actions were like a direct punch to the gut! I squeezed my eyes shut and was doubled over from the immense pain. Hoping all of this was some nightmare and that it couldn’t be real. But I could barely breathe as my heart felt like it was crushed into a million pieces.  When I opened my eyes again, he walked to the front door. I knew it was real! 

He grabbed the car keys, and I couldn't help but run behind him.

 “Wait! Wait, Holland! Please don’t leave me tonight, of all nights.  It's our anniversary! I need you here, too! Baby, I want you here with me!” I cried out. 

His response to me was that he left the house in silence. I fell to the floor, my heart shattered to a million pieces!

I eventually dragged my limp body back into the living room. I glanced down and saw through my tear-filled eyes the check lying there on the coffee table. I took it and ripped it up, screaming! “I hate him! I hate him! As I tore up his check!” Like a mad woman, crying and sobbing.  

A few moments later, my pride and anger simmered. I won’t sit in this empty house while he’s out with another woman!  Forget this.’

 I  changed into a sexy dress and texted a number saying, 

“I need someone tonight to help me forget about Holland. Are you coming?”