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I hate feeling like this
Last Updated:
2024-01-09 05:36:57Related chapters
What they never knew That was close
It was not hard to get his number at all. And I have it punched in my phone. What I was regretting right now was how the thoughts of getting his phone number popped into my head. And even if it did, I don't know why I acted on it. Because if I hadn't, I would not be in the situation where I am right now. My hand has been itching to type to him since I got his number from somewhere in the office a few days ago. I still cannot get over what had happened and I wanted to clear the air with him. That I was not his and he should stay out of my business. I felt like if we did not see, which we will not be doing anytime soon, I won't have any issues talking to him and making him know what was going on in my mind. But obviously, that was a lie. I was a freaking liar. Even though he was not here, or anywhere around me, I was still fidgeting to talk to him. I had typed and erased over and over again. I typed again this time. This is Gwen, Mr Emmett. I'd really like it if my personal m
Last Updated : 2024-01-10What they never knew Is that even normal?
I was losing control. I knew it and I could feel it deep inside of me. I feel the control slip out of my hands like skittering sand. And it was all because of one party brunette I cannot get out of my head. For a man that had business to run and things to do, things that even seven men can't handle at the same time, I was slacking off. As much as I hated it, I feel like I could not have it any other way. There was this feeling that I had that, now I have found her, I would not be letting her go anytime soon. Not now, not ever. But I wanted to torment her for a little. Make her feel the pain I went through before because of her and what she did. As much as I wanted to ask her why she did what she did, I also did not want to hear it. I did not want to hear her say the reason. I did not want to hear her tell me that she did not love me. That she never wanted to be with me from the beginning, that it was just the attention she got from me that she wanted. Because as sick as it ma
Last Updated : 2024-01-10What they never knew This is bad
I've not heard from him since that day. He did not call did not message, did not do anything. As much as I wanted to act like I wasn't bothered by it at all, I was bothered. We only talked once on the phone and I wanted it to be a constant thing. I wanted it to be something we did everytime. Whatever that feeling was, I needed to trash it. I mean as soon as possible because it definitely was happening. "Hey gurrlllll." Tamara drawled ass soon as she entered my office. Anytime she did that, I knew there was something she wanted to say. Something interesting. So whatever it was I wanted to hear it. "What's up?" I asked as I raised my head from the clothes I was prepping. Yes. Clothes. I still make my sample designers by myself and the people that work for me replicate it exactly. I've been cooped up in my own personal sewing space for a while now. "There is this new place that just opened. And I heard their food is good. So why don't we catch lunch there together?" I did not both
Last Updated : 2024-01-10What they never knew Let's talk now, shall we?
After what happened with my mother, I left the office. Instead of eating in the office or ordering food in, I left. I needed air. So I decided to go to the restaurant that one of my friends just opened and has been pestering me to visit. She was not exactly a friend to me, since we only met and knew each other during university days and we studied the same course. She was the version of someone that followed and pursued her dreams leaving her father's money. Thought that cost her being cut off from the family, according to what she told me. But, she was doing fine for herself. She had different branches in town and in other states. We met recently at an event, so she's literally been on my neck to come visit. I respected the lady a lot even though I did not show it. Immediately she saw me from behind the counter that she was, a big smile made its way to her face like she had been expecting me. "Look who finally picked my invitation." She chirped. After looking around and quickly
Last Updated : 2024-01-11What they never knew This was nice
I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It was like I was on drugs. Contrary to my opinion from what Tam had told me from the other time, I felt the opposite. Well, it was not like I had my eyes glued on him or something, but there was nothing bad if I had a snicker peak at him. And the ugly head of jealousy was insane. I've not felt like this in so long. When we were together then, I didn't exactly have to deal with jealous women. It only happened anytime we went out on dates and all of that. And it was more like pride. But right now, I wanted to stand up from where I was sitting right now and pull that woman, whoever she was from where she was sitting, in front of him. They look like they know each other. And every second that Charles payed attention to her made me mad and angry. "Are you even listening to what I am saying right now?" The voice of Tam jerked me back to the present. "What? Sorry, what did you say?" I asked in a resigned tone because I knew she had caught me again. A
Last Updated : 2024-01-11What they never knew What the hell?
As much as I wasn't expecting Tam to be serious with what she had said the other day, Friday came quite fast and I found myself in the situation where I have to sit down in the mirror in front of me and endure her putting makeup on my face. "I've said it a hundred times already that I do not need makeup. I do not know why you are adamant on putting it on my face." I said immediately she did something wrong on my face. "Shut up." She snapped immediately and I did. To be really honest, I knew it looked nice. It just was not something that I was a fan of. I did not like it at all. It made me feel a little out of place and I hate it. I might suddenly break into a sweat. It was not like the makeup will move from where it was, I just will not feel comfortable with myself. "Here. Done." She clapped her hands like she had just achieved something big. She stood behind me as I looked at myself in the mirror. "You look good, babe. Not like you dont look pretty without the face beating, but r
Last Updated : 2024-01-12What they never knew Well, fuck me
I've been on the edge since that day that we met at Anna's restaurant. I knew Gwen well. I will even think that I knew her more than she knows herself. What I heard her friend say the other day bothered me a bit. I knew she would not go, if it were up to her. But with the way Miss Brooks was serious with her tone then, I knew she'd literally drag her along to go with her. Which had gotten me to the part where I have to call her to be sure she was at home on a Friday night. And it has been made known to me that she was not. With the way she sounded and slurred on the phone few minutes ago, she was drunk already and in a club. Not just any one, but my club. How I got to know it was when the DJ mentioned the name in the middle of the whole hype they do. And I knew the kind of people that came there. Sleezy rich, bratty kids. The idea of any other man talking to her, or less touching her made me bytn with anger and that made me increase the acceleration of the car that was already spe
Last Updated : 2024-01-13What they never knew Sweet, little kitty
Different thoughts ran through my head as I was in the big tub in the bathroom. I wanted to deny it but I knew that it was comfortable. It gave gave me this sense if relief that I have not felt in a while. Soaking in the tub was not something I had the luxury to do Imin my own home. Putting that aside, I was here. Here in his house. Shit.Well, my drunken ass's could still remember the time he asked to take me to my house and I blantantly refused. Not my fault. You should know by now. Charlie was not not home, so there was no way he would meet her. But, Charles was a very keen person. He'd notice the stuff that was around, which belonged to a child and I don't want to raise any suspicion. I could tell him it was the daughter of Tam. But given the kind of smart person that he was, it was only a matter of time before her found out. Few hours precisely. I was still surprised that he has not noticed that I had a daughter. Because, I was sure that he ran a background check in me and I
Last Updated : 2024-01-24
Latest chapter
What they never knew Where did we stop?
GwenI should stop this. This is not okay at all. I should not indulge in it. I should make him pay for doing this to me. He had no right whatsoever to touch me this way or make me feel the things that he was making me feel. This was all wrong. I should not feel horny because my ex-fiancee was touching me all over, and I was allowing him to. I indulged him. This is not me. Not at all.The fact that I was the strong one that did not allow any man to touch me for all these years does not mean that I did not have any self-respect or that I didn't have needs. I was not attracted to other men mainly. But there were some other nights where my feelings got the best of me and I touched myself thinking of him. It has only been him for me. No other man. Still, it doesn't make any sense that I succumb like this. “Stop, this Charles. Let go of me.” I said with all of the strength I had and pushed his head away from my boobs. My hands were on either side of his head, and I was about to remove
What they never knew The audacity only I have
GwenThe pressure in front of my head was building, and I knew I had to stop working, or I'd pass out, or something worse would happen. I looked around through the windows and no one was in their cubicle any longer. It was just me. I took the cup of coffee to sip again but then I discovered that there was nothing in it any longer. Well, shit. I was thinking of going to the employees’ common room that was on this floor to see if I could get something that would keep me for a while when my phone started ringing. Looking at it, it was Adeline. A tired smile made its way to my face. It's been a while since I spoke to her. God knows I'm a bad person. “Adeline.” I dragged out and I'm sure my tiredness showed with the way I said her name. I might as well have given myself up. “Tell me you're in your house right now.” She said sternly in her usual tone. I smiled. “I'm at home, not the house.” I taunted. I knew she'd understand the wordplay. “Can you stop pushing yourself so hard already
What they never knew I hate you
GwenRain splattered on the sidewalk, and everywhere looked a bit messy, but that did not stop people from going to work or getting what they had to do. Everywhere was so busy I blamed myself a little for wanting to go out to get myself coffee. I did it in an attempt to walk and stretch a little from work. But then, since I got to this place, I've had my foot stepped on, been bumped into and my purse thrown to the ground. Who knew the whole of this street would be this busy? But then, I loved my walks when I had the chance to have them which wasn't every time. I take them up when I have the chance. And now, I needed to clear my head about a few things. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I made sure I was on the safe side before I brought it out of my pocket to avoid any more issues this evening. The reason I am drinking coffee this time of the day is that I am staying overnight at work. “Hello.” I swiped the caller ID and spoke into the phone without checking the caller. “You bette
What they never knew We needed to talk
Gwen's POV “What?!” The whole room resonated with her shout. I almost jumped out of my chair in response to her reaction. It was not surprising though. She always reacted overly. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?” She asked in a hushed tone like someone would walk in and catch her. I shrugged in reply. “What do you think?” I said silently. I felt a little embarrassed and I'm sure my cheeks turned pink just confessing to her what I'd done. “I know you two have a past, and the man is fine as hell, but he's the enemy and you know it.” She sounded with so much conviction that I felt like a child who had been scolded by her mother. “I know. I know. I…I..don't even know how to explain myself right now. It just happened.” I said to her almost in a lamenting voice. “No matter what happens, he's still your enemy for now. Fine, you work together a little but you should know that he wants to take your child away from you. Well, I'm sure that is what will happen if he knows about
What they never knew We almost had sex
Gwen's POV I sighed gently as I placed my head on the window sill beside my dress. Funny how I could not bring myself to sleep all these days. So instead of wasting the days away, I worked my ass off instead. I didn't give room for unnecessary thoughts even though they came along. Between different meetings and work calls, I made sure that there was still work in between. There is no avenue for unnecessary thoughts. Why? Because they were not worth it. Tam has been on my ass, telling me to rest and all, but how can I tell her the reason why I am working myself so hard was that I didn't want to be a scapegoat for my thoughts of my ex-fiancee and what I allowed him to do to me? Even the thought of it made my cheek burn. “Boss?” I jerked back to the present when I felt someone tap me. “Yes?” I sighed inwardly, not liking the fact that I went off again. “I'm sorry. Did you say something?” I asked. “No. I wanted to remind you that you are done and the dress needs to be taken to the s
What they never knew You taste like heaven
Charles POV I knew what was going on in her mind and what she meant to do by doing this. I knew that she planned to hate me because of this later and probably pin it all on me. But even after knowing all of this, I still indulged her. I could not resist. She knew how much she affected me. The effect she had on me, no woman has ever held a candlelight even up to it, and she'd use that against me. I hated how much I loved the feel of her lips against mine and how warm it felt. It felt like being home after a long time. She felt like home. Bringing myself to the present, I pulled away from her gently. My eyes were still closed, but I could still feel her eyes on me. I forced them open to look at her. Desire hazed her eyes. She missed me too. She knew deep in her mind that we belonged together, and there was nothing that could stop whatever it was that was going on between us right now. I hate how much it hurts. “Don't do this, Gwen. Pl..please.” I hate how weak I become bec
What they never knew Shut the fuck up
“I'll drop you off at home.” His voice jerked me out of the thoughts that was swirling in my head. Since our ordeal the other time, I've not had it in me to sleep at all. I could not close my eyes talk less sleep. “What?” “You have made it a habit of making me repeat what I say right?” He replied me. “Oh. Sorry. But I can get myself home by myself.” I said to him. I was already planning on doing so before he said it. I stood up from the bed ignoring his presence and made my way to the bathroom. Needing to wash my face and put myself in order before I left. I felt much more better than I was throughout the whole of yesterday. Only God knows what he gave to me. But whatever it is, I really appreciated it. It was like I as never sick. I sighed as I threw water on my face. After I was done with that, I threw my hair up in a messy bun. It was strange how I was not shy around the man to say the least. There should be this level of shyness where I should feel like he should not see my
What they never knew You're so predictable
I shut my eyes immediately when I opened them. They felt too heavy. I felt as though bricks were tied at the edge of my eyes and pulled them apart. This is really terrible. After a few minutes of battling within myself, I forced myself to open my eyes. The ceiling looked unfamiliar so a feeling of fear gripped me. What was I doing in this place? Before I could put two and two together, I heard Charles' voice. “Calm down. You're safe.” Immediately I heard his voice, my frayed nerves calmed instantly. Don't ask me why, I don't know why myself. It's a reflex reaction that just happened. I looked towards the direction of where the voice came from and I saw him sitting on a chair that was somewhere in the corner of the room. He had a book in his hands like he was reading it and a pair of glasses perched on his nose. Don't ask me how I can see that too, I just saw it. But when did he start using glasses? The question found its way to my mind. “You like it? I started using it a few year
What they never knew You better get used to it.
I was sitting in his arms in a comfortable silence a few minutes later. It felt like the silence was comfortable but it was nowhere near the turmoil going on within me. As much as I wanted to be in his arms, we needed to talk. Maybe I've been overreacting all of these while. Maybe it was all my fault. I can't get over the fact of what happened to him. It's exhilarating. “We need to talk.” I said simply and I felt him stiffen behind me. Here goes nothing and everything. “Yeah. We need to.” He affirmed and I nodded like I wanted his permission to actually go ahead to talk. “About Charlie, I think we can work around something. Probably get you to meet her and introduce you to her officially.” I said. It was easier said than I had anticipated or expected. I did not expect it to be that easy for me to say. Maybe I already knew that this day would come and that I'd have to talk about it sooner or later. And my mind knew that I could turn Charles away for so long. Hearing about the ac
