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What if We Drown 56
Something moved in the sand, like a rock, but the colors were all wrong. It was much too large to be a rock, Ashlyn thought, it's mass taking up the majority of the space around it. The longer she looked, she realized that it wasn't moving. It was struggling. The poor thing was caught.Her hands fell to her side when Derek stepped past her to take a look. His phone was already out of his pocket, his fingers entering a phone number. She reached out to stop him, grabbing onto his arm.'What if it's not safe?' her eyes asked when he looked back at her. They were the only ones on this part of the track, and if something happened, she didn't know what she would be able to do to help."I have to help it, Ash," his voice was raw, his sorrow and concern for the animal evident. She could see it in the way he looked back towards it, he was doing this with or without her support. His heart was too good to stand by and do nothing.Ashlyn nodded, letting her hand fall away.Carefully, Derek s
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She's still scared. I hope they're not far, she answered, looking over Derek's shoulder and back towards the path they'd been walking.There were no roads around this part of the cliff, so they would have to walk out to find them here. She really hoped that they would have understood Derek's directions. She worried her bottom lip, wondering what would happen to Joan if the marine rescue team didn't find them there.Derek took her hand in his."She's going to be okay. They'll find us," Derek reassured her. She nodded, leaning her head to the side so she could look at Joan's face.She didn't know much about the way that turtles displayed their emotions, but the eyes she gazed into were a depth of darkness and pain, and she couldn't help but feel saddened by the predicament Joan had found herself in. Joan blinked. If turtles could have wept, Ashlyn had no doubt that she would have been crying a stream of tears.By the time Ashlyn noticed the flashing lights that approached signaling
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Ashlyn woke by a rough hand shaking her shoulders."Quick, get up. We overslept!" Kass exclaimed over her before something heavy fell on her face. A pillow.Ashlyn groaned, and, squeezing her eyes shut, she rolled over. But the soft surface beneath her back promptly disappeared, and she fell through the empty air, a thud echoing as she hit the floor.She bit her lip against the pain that shot through her knees, her vision hazy as she stared through groggy eyes at the room around her. She was in Kass's living room and still wearing yesterday's clothes. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Ashlyn tried to recall what had transpired the night before.The smell of cookie dough and chocolate were at the forefront of her memories, followed by the distant sounds of laughter and oven alarms. The mess she could see in the kitchen was the last missing piece to her memories.The night before, Kass, Marcus and herself, had been up until the early hours, baking an ensemble of cookies and slices f
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"Poppy, Sage. This is my very good friend, Ashlyn," he addressed each of the girls. She tried not to flinch at his choice of words, her heart yearning for a different word to have been used. But they hadn't yet had that conversation. Perhaps they never would.Quickly, she pushed that thought aside and reminded herself of the words he'd said that afternoon behind Salt. Words that had been proven true countless times since. It didn't matter what they were or were not, only that he was there, and that at some level, he cared.Pushing back the thoughts that threatened to ruin the day, she chose to focus on the people before her, and the good that she felt.Ashlyn waved to each of the girls, her smile warm. As she gazed at both of the girls, she could see the playful spark and curiosity in each of their eyes. The hints of those cheeky smiles they each possessed hidden in the corners of their lips were evident, much like they had looked in all of Derek's photos.The way that Derek spoke
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The ocean drew a deep breath.Suddenly, and all at once, everything came back to life.The sounds of the twin's spirited words were drowned beneath the roaring in Ashlyn's ears, the jagged sounds of her breathing smothering her. Three steps at most stood between where her feet sunk into the sand and the shifting waves that rolled up on the shore. Three steps, but a lifetime of disillusions.The girls continued their taunts from the water, oblivious to the rising storm that raged inside of Ashlyn.She had no doubt that everyone was watching, and there would be no turning back if she ran from this now. But still, her flight instincts urged her on, the security of the sandy dunes more promising than the mysterious depths that approached.Her hands twisted tightly in the fabric of her dress, and her toes curled and clung to the granules of sand, as she fought to maintain a steady heart and a clear head. Panic and fear thrashed against her from all angles, the thoughts she'd always fo
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The water was cold as it kissed her ankles, the softly spoken words dissipating on the breeze that tangled within her curls. A gasp stole from her lungs as she stumbled back, her feet dragging through the sinking sand.That cool kiss hadn't been a part of her memory. She'd felt it, clear as day. Somehow, lost in the memory of that day with her father, she'd lost control of her movements and had drawn too close to the rolling waves.The water continued its ebb and flow, unfazed by the events that had transpired. All while Ashlyn's heart thundered in her chest at the vivid memory that had quickly shifted into the tangible textures she'd just experienced.Twenty years had passed since the last time she'd felt the shifting sand and the foamy kisses, her muscle memory dormant through it all. But with one touch, with one unexpected kiss, her body had responded as though it had only been a day. Her toes had buried into the sand, the granules tickling the soles of her feet when the wave ha
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Ashlyn feigned shock when the twins grabbed on to her hands to hold her in place, which only made them squeal louder. She knew that she had been caught and that she would pay for her involvement in such a scheme. A punishment she only pretended she didn't want, for the twins' benefit."Get her," Sage shrieked, her laughter bubbling around her words, as she moved behind Ashlyn and pushed her towards Derek.His arms were about her waist in seconds, the wind escaping her lungs for a moment. Ashlyn leaned forward, her knees brushing the surface of the waters below, in the hope that he would let go, but his hold only tightened further.In one swift movement, Derek turned her in his arms so that her chest was against his. Her feet lifted from the sand below as he held her tightly against his body like a human shield.The twins required no other signal, as they began to splash again, this time coming at Derek and Ashlyn from both sides. Derek turned her from side to side, warding off as
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Ashlyn stepped around Derek, her attempts to mask her confusion reflected in the wavy smile she cast towards him before she stepped out of the water and jogged up the beach towards the bonfire. She could feel Derek at her back as he followed behind, his feet shifting in the sand the only sound he made.Ashlyn navigated around the crowd of people seated around the fire, muted words of praise and congratulations for what she'd done reaching her ears.She didn't like being the center of attention, almost as much as she didn't like being in the dark about what was going on. And something had to be going on, it was the only way to explain the smiles that Abel and Kass wore when they looked to her, and Derek at her back.Before she could take her seat beside Kass, Kass gave a subtle shake of her head. Ashlyn's brow quirked, and she went to object when the soft cadence of a young girl's voice reached out to her."Sit with me, Ashwyn," Sage called out around the thumb that she nursed. Ash
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What if We Drown Epilogue
"Where are you taking me?" Derek's laughter carried on the sea breeze while he ran, hand in hand with Ashlyn, down the boulevard.The smile in Ashlyn's cheeks was enchanting, her heart swelling beyond its confines until it illuminated every facet of her expression. A childlike joy danced upon her lips, her giggles falling back to meet him as she turned to glance his way.'You'll see,' the glint in her eyes said. Squeezing his hand tighter, she continued to run, every fragment of fear and every splinter of doubt falling behind her, the remains of the walls she'd nursed for years crumbling like dust beneath her canvas shoes.Her steps continued to carry them through streets lit by twilight, the breath in her lungs escaping with a giggle when she stumbled on a crack in the pavement. Catching her waist, Derek pulled her back against his chest, his hands resting on her hips."Are you going to tell me why we're in such a rush?" His breath was hot, his lips teasing as they brushed the si
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For him to have been friends with you, I know I'd have loved him too. She squeezed Derek's hand, the two of them falling into a moment of silence, before Derek squeezed her hand in return."What happened to Liam, and what happened to your father, those things were out of our control. They weren't our fault."Ashlyn hesitated for a moment before nodding. That was something her and Lana had been working on during their last session. But hearing Derek mention it now, she felt a familiar pang in her chest, the battle of her heart versus her mind silently brewing.It wasn't our fault, she repeated, as much for her own sake as for his."I've been living in this world of what if, dwelling on all the ways that I could have saved him while neglecting to live in the world I'm in right now. Sitting there amidst the wilting posies and tears at Liam's grave, I was finally able to forgive myself, and Liam, for what happened."Derek turned to Ashlyn with a sad smile, the light in his eyes shini
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Derek's apartment hadn't changed since the last time she'd been there. Scattered books with bent spines and dog-eared pages claimed the living space, and the woolen blanket was still draped over the arm of the sofa where she'd left it.Her favorite thing, however, was the scent of crisp green apple that still clung to the air, wrapping itself around Ashlyn as she fell back against the couch, exhausted despite the 24 hours she'd just spent in a hospital bed.His home still feels like a home, she thought, her eyes wandering around the room. A fresh wave of relief washed over her, the state of his apartment a welcome reminder that he'd meant it when he'd said he wouldn't leave her.You never unpacked? Ashlyn asked, her head tilted towards the two duffel bags beside the front door.Placing two glasses of water on the coffee table, Derek scooched into the space at her side, his arm reaching across the back of the sofa so he could play with her hair."I never had the time. This is the
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How? Her heart questioned, her eyes wide with wonder."When I heard that voice and felt it whisper in my heart, the only thing I thought of was you." His chest rose and fell as he stole a glance in her direction. "But that's crazy, right? I mean, I've never heard your voice, and it's not like Siren's exist." He gave a nervous chuckle. A sound escaped Ashlyn's lip, somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle, and she felt her eyes begin to prickle with tears.He had no idea what the words he'd just said meant, or how true it was. By some unknown magic, his name, her final plea, had carried to his ears and called to him. Her heart had called, and he had answered. Like a Siren. She giggled at the absurdity, and yet the possibility of it all, her cheeks burning when he turned to gaze at her with wonderment."Here I am telling you something crazy and impossible, and yet, you're the one blushing and crying." His laughter was hearty and amused as his thumbs brushed over her cheeks, catching ev
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A familiar beep broke through the silence, and Ashlyn winced at the sound that fell upon her ears. Her eyelids fluttered, cracking to allow the light of day into the darkness she left behind. Her blinks were quick at first while she adjusted to the sunlight streaming through the window, the sky a stark contrast to the night from whence she'd come.The window was closed, but as she watched the streak of ocean waver against the horizon, she could almost taste it lingering in the back of her throat.Flashes of white wisps and mermaids tails, her father's grim expression, and the grey-blue tempest that she'd wrestled flickered behind her eyes, and her heart picked up its pace. The fog over her memories lifted, and with sudden clarity, the aches in her body and the sandpaper feeling at the back of her throat made sense.What was I thinking? She raised her hand to her temple in an attempt to massage the memories and mortification away.Her gaze roamed over the assembly of monitors and m
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The sea. Angry and unrelenting. Dangerous.It rolled again, jostling her head. Ashlyn bit back a whimper and squinted as another body wrapped in an emergency blanket wavered on the deck before her. Upright and leaning against the side, the body shifted as she tracked their outstretched legs, slowly trying to piece together the scene before her. Her heart hammered in her chest, her gaze roaming over their chest, moving towards their face when something blocked her view.Exhaling, her eyes continued to roll around the space, tracking the activity upon the deck, in an attempt to gather her bearings.Shifting his weight, the man at her side leaned forward, the back of his head creating an umbrella of sorts from the unrelenting rain, while he held his finger between both their faces. Focusing all of her energy on that single digit, Ashlyn brought her attention back to him, tracking his finger as it moved from the left to the right.A small smile of relief lifted his lips, and a trickle
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All around her was a stillness and peace unheard of, as she drifted upon the grey-blue tempest, while laces of white tickled her nose and her lashes, teasing and tantalizing, singing to the breath within her lungs.Squinting through the prickly haze, Ashlyn rose and fell with the ocean's deep breath, her limbs moving in a hypnotic dance under its command. Her gaze roamed the deep expanse, her sense of direction ceasing to exist amidst the tendrils of fire that floated around her face.My sweet daughter, the ocean cooed, its arms reaching out to cradle and caress. Enveloped in its tight embrace, Ashlyn felt herself falling deeper into its touch and the promises it whispered over her mind. Home at last. The ocean's voice tickled at the edges of consciousness, and Ashlyn blinked.Wisps of white and silver danced upon the waters, the shape of memories forming and reforming with each flutter of her lashes. Children ran towards the tides, kicking and splashing at the waves that kissed th
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The wind thrashed against her front, driving the sliver of ice deeper into her heart. She sobbed, clawing at the pain in her chest, which made it harder to breathe. An invisible force pushed her forward, towards the end of the dock, and she cried out when her foot caught, dropping her to her hands and knees.Pain shot through her knees and her palms throbbed against the deck. Gritting her teeth, she pulled herself to her feet, wincing as her knees protested.Ashlyn bent to roll up the leg of her jeans when something like a horn sounded in the distance, startling her. Lifting her head, she glanced out to sea again and spotted several lights bobbing against the angry sky.Derek!Her heart gave a distressed cry, the icy pick within melting beneath the warmth of a hope rekindled.She watched the boat draw nearer, the lines between her brow growing deeper. Something wasn't right. The boat was veering dangerously close towards the lighthouse and the rocky graveyard that waited below. S
What if We Drown 101
Ashlyn was almost out the front door before Kass could catch her."What do you think you're doing? You can't go out there!" Kass cried over the wind that thrashed against the door.He's here, Kass. He's been upstairs this entire time, and you didn't tell me. Hurt flashed behind Ashlyn's eyes, her arm twisting beneath Kass' grip. She'd known, and she'd omitted to tell her anything.Regret pooled in Kass' gaze, but Ashlyn wasn't sure what she regretted more, telling her about Derek or keeping the secret from her in the first place.I have to go and see him, Ashlyn pleaded before she reached around to grip the door handle. Kass' grip tightened again as she pulled Ashlyn away from the door."He's not here. He's out there," Kass sighed in defeat, gesturing in the general direction of the ocean, her posture shifting to block the exit.Ashlyn's chest seized, her airways closing against the sharp inhale of air.'He's out there' rang in her ears, the rising panic they caused not strong
