Chapter 1 Married

<Sabrina>

“Thank you,” matigas at malamig na pasasalamat ni Kioz sa mga business partner niya na pumunta sa kasal namin. Ningitian ko lamang sila.

Tapos na ang kasal namin.

Iginala ko ang mata ko sa buong reception place pero hindi ko na nakita si Jaedon.

Pumunta siya sa kasal ko pero hindi ko na siya nakita buong reception. Umuwi na ba siya?

“Mom, transfer your things to my house,” sabi sa akin ni Kioz.

Nakatayo kami dahil tapos na ang reception at nakikipag plastican na lang kaming dalawa sa mga bisita na uuwi na.

Hindi ako sumagot sa kanya.

Hindi naman siya ang gusto ko. Bakit hindi ko naramdaman na hindi naman siya iyung kasiping?

“Nakita mo ba si Jaedon?” Tanong ko sa kanya. Alam naman niya na ang kapatid niya ang gusto ko.

“Could you please stop looking for the fucking asshole?!” madiin ngunit pabulong na bulong niya sa akin.

Kioz and Jaedon are not in good terms simula ng malaman ng lahat na nabuntis ako ni Kioz.

“Hija, okay ka lang?” Tanong sa akin ng mommy ni Kioz nang makalapit siya sa akin.

“Ngumiti ka naman, you aren’t smiling the whole event,” she commented, squeezing my cheeks.

Ningitian lang ako ng tatay ni Kioz at bahagya akong ngumiti sa kanya.

“Congrtas bro,” malamig at seryosong bati ng pangalawang kapatid ni Kioz at tinapik siya nito sa balikat.

“Yeah, thanks, man,” Kioz replied.

“Hello! Sissy! Welcome to our family! You’re right na you will become ou family!” Masayang bati sa akin ng asawa ni brother Kieron.

“Why aren’t you happy?” Tanong sa akin ni Liam nang makalapit siya sa amin.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

“I saw my brother Jaedon and he was with a sexy woman,” nakangising sabi niya sa akin na halata naman na inaasar niya ako.

Lahat sila ay alam na may gusto ako kay Jaedon.

“Don’t cry, sis!” Liam added. And he stuck out his tongue.

“Liam, stop it,” suway siya sa kanya ni Kioz.

“My daughter,” my mom came together with my dad and my yaya. My mom kisses my cheeks as well as my dad's. They greeted Kioz too.

“We’re going na. Take care of yourself, okay? I already sent your thing to the house of Kioz. including your skincare and your favourite sleepwear. Your cat's shoes are also there. I didn’t include your cat,” my mom said.

Hindi ako sumagot sa mahabang sinabi ng mommy ko.

Sa lahat ng kinasal ay ako ang hindi masaya.

“Mom! I’m gonna miss you! Wala na mag make up sa akin,” ma-dramang sabi sa akin ni Kikay.

Parang naiiyak ako dahil hindi ko na makakasama si Kikay. Para ko na din kasi siyang kapatid.

“I’m gonna miss you too Kikay,” sabi ko sa kanya at niyakap ko siya.

Umalis na ang mga bisita namin. Nagpaalam na din ang mga parents ko sa akin.

“Good luck with your marriage, bro,” dinig ko na sabi ni brother Kieron sa nakakatanda niyang kapatid.

“Where’s Jaedon?” Tanong ni Kioz.

Nakaupo kami sa iisang table dahil hinihintay namin ang driver namin.

“I thought you were mad at him?” Tanong ni Kieron.

Umigting ang panga ni Kioz at nandilim ang kanyang paningin.

Nag-away ang magkapatid bago ang naganap ang kasal namin. Mabuti na lang walang na hospital sa dalawa.

Jaedon and Kioz are not on good terms because of me. Magka-away na sila.

“You know that Jaedon is not fucking using his brain!” Galit na sabi ni Kioz. there’s a concern in his voice.

“Okay ka lang?” Bulong sa akin ni Nuala, ang asawa ni brother Kieron.

“You look sad,” she said worriedly.

“Sister, I want to see Jaedon,” malungkot at naiiyak na sabi ko sa kanya.

“Don’t cry. I know Kioz will take care of you and your baby,” pagpapagahan na loob niya sa akin. I’m glad she didn’t say it out loud.

“Kioz, your driver is here,” Kioz mom’s announced.

“Take care of my daughter, okay?” She reminded Kioz for the hundredth time.

“Mom, I know. Tsk!” May pagkainis na sabi ni Kioz.

“If you didn’t treat her right like Jaedon did to her might as well bring her to our home! And son, she’s pregnant. You must take care of her and your baby,” Mom reminded again.

“Mom, I’m not Jaedon. Tsk! Can’t you see? I agreed to marry her for the sake of the baby. Tsk!”

Kung walang bata walang kasal, at may chance pa kaming dalawa ni Jaedon.

“I know. I’m just reminding you. You know how much I love my daughter Sabrina”

Kio’z mom is so sweet to me and she took care of me when my mom didn’t.

“Mom, you’re so dramatic,” Liam interrupted.

“Shut up!” Mom answered his last son.

“Brother Kioz aren’t you going? Mom won’t let go and she won’t stop making drama,” Liam said annoyed.

“Bro, don’t go to the company tomorrow. It’s your wedding, I’ll take care of your work,” Kieron said before we walked.

“I’ll text,” Kioz replied and we walked together to the car.

Brother Kieron nodded his head.

I didn’t look back at them and headed to the car.

I’m so sad. There’s no longer chance for me, and Jaedon.

“Don’t touch me!” I hissed when Kioz tried to guide me entering the car.

He heaved a sigh.

“I’m concerned about my baby,” he said softly. He’s just making excuses.

When we were going to his home I couldn’t stop myself from crying.

Jaedon didn’t attend the reception.

“It’s your fault. If you didn’t cum inside me I wouldn’t get pregnant and we won’t get married,” I blamed him while crying.

He just look at me and heaved a sigh.

Kioz loosens his necktie and unbutton the three first buttons of his white long sleeve.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he coldly replied. His jaw is clenched and his stares are fierce.

I silently cry in the car while we’re heading to his house.

He will go to work tomorrow. We don’t have a honeymoon. How we can have a honeymoon if we’re not in love? I am forced into this marriage. My mother decided on this marriage for me.

I want to run to my dad.

“Stop crying, Sabby,” he said while looking at me hard. I couldn’t explain his expression.

“Your cry won’t do anything,” he said heartlessly.

“I don’t like you! I hate you!” I tantrums.

He goes silent and kills me with his glare.

Kioz looks scary, he is silent yet scary. His aura speaks of dominance and strictness. Maybe, he hasn’t gotten married because he is boring serious, silent, and dominant.

I rarely saw him smile and I never heard him laugh.

“Iuwi mo na lang ako sa amin,” umiiyak na sabi ko at ngumuso. Para akong bata na umiiyak dito.

“Miss ko na si Carcat ko,” tukoy ko sa aking pusa.

“I’ll bring your cat tomorrow,” he said seriously.

“I miss Kikay. No one is going to take care of my Carcat,” I said problematic while crying.

Mas niluwagan niya ang kanyang necktie na parang naiinis na sa kaartehan at ka-dramahan ko. Para akong bata umiiyak sa kanya.

Kioz closes his eyes and open them immediately and he heaved a deep sigh.

“I bring Kikay to take care of your cat,” he said coldly.

Bakit ba ang lamig niya magsalita? Pinaglihi ba siya sa ice?

“Are you going to pay Kikay?” I ask.

“Yes, I’ll hire her as your maid, or whatever you want.”

Kioz is expressionless except for his serious expression which is natural for him.

Ang gwapo niya kapag naka side view dahil it sharpen his nose and his loosen and messy hair added to his appeal. Magkahawig sila ni Kieron kapag nakaside view siya.

“Kikay is not allowed. Sa bahay lang siya,” malungkot na sagot ko at kusang tumigil ang mga luha ko sa paghagos.

“Then I make her visit you once a week,” he said finally and he sounded hinahabaan ang patience niya sa akin.

He is giving me solutions to my problems.

“Why aren’t you irritated with me? I’m throwing tantrums and having drama. Jaedon doesn’t like when I’m throwing tantrums,” malungkot na kwento ko sa kanya.

“I’m not my brother,” he said deep, severe and short. Kioz sounds annoyed when I mention his brother.

“Do you have one expression? Why you so cold?” Nakasimangot na tanong ko sa kanya.

Kioz look at me. Ibinalik niya din ang kanyang tingin at hindi sinagot ang tanong ko, lalo akong napasimangot.

“You’re also pipi,” I commented.

“Kioz, what’s the English of Pipi?” I asked him curious.

“Mute.”

Ang tipid niya sumagot, huhu.

“Maybe the English of Pipi is PWD,” I said innocently.

Someone asked me what’s the English of Pipi and I didn’t know the answer. I asked Kioz because he handles corporations and he speaks English.

I saw him smile a little.

“It’s mute not PWD,” he said seriously. He returns to being serious. I saw him smile a little.

“How about ‘yung bulag? Bird box?”

Narinig ko na tumawa iyung driver kaya napatingin ako sa harapan. Kanina pa ba siya nakikinig sa usapan namin?

“Blind.”

Why I’m having a conversation with him?

I don’t know if I will be comfortable with brother Kioz. Should I still call him brother? It’s not sound as if I am calling him brother while we’re married.

Before when I am always visiting their house we’re casual to each other. Hindi ko naman din siya ganoon nakikita sa bahay nila due to his work. 

I do feel a little awkward with him.

Muli akong tumingin sa kanya and he looks exhautes. Nakapikit na ang kanyang mga mata.

Tumingin ako sa labas ng bintana. I’m wondering kung ano ang mangyayari bukas, mamaya, at sa susunod na tomorrow.

Si Jaedon ang love ko, huhu.

Nakadating kami sa bahay na hindi namamalayan dahil sa dami ng iniisip.

His driver helps us with our things.

“Where am I going to sleep?” Nahihiya na tanong ko sa mahinang boses habang nakayuko.

Napahinto siya sa paglalakad, nakatingin ako sa mga sapatos niya.

“In my room,” tipid na sagot niya at muling naglakad.

In his room? Is he serious?

Why am I going to sleep with him?

Sumunod ako sa kanya.

Pumasok siya sa isang kwarto at pumasok din ako.

“Err, don’t you have a girlfriend? I mean serious relationships. Isn’t she getting mad when she founds out that we’re sleeping together?” I shyly ask him.

He removes his coat bago he answers my question.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, and the other rooms are locked,” he shorty answered.

He talks to me coldly.

Why lock? I bet he has a spare key or he can open one room for me.

“Brother K-Kioz can I sleep in another room instead?” I shyly asked while I couldn’t look at his eyes.

“You can stay in my room. I rarely go home,” he coldly answered me again and unbuttoned his white long-sleeved polo.

“I won’t sleep besides. I have to do my work,” he coldly said and he entered another room which I guess was the restroom.

I breathe in relief when he disappears in front of me.

I’m trying to be friendly and have a conversation with him to lessen the awkwardness that I feel that there’s a barrier between us.

I sat on the bed and roam my eyes in his room.

His room is painted white and there’s no decoration and everything. Kioz curtains are colour white. I only see two doors in his room, one wide TV, beside a table with a lamp, a bed and nothing more but it’s spacious. I feel that he rarely stays in his room because it doesn’t have many items.

If he is not staying in his house where is he staying? I rarely saw him at his parent's house. And whenever there was a celebration he always late or never attend.

My thoughts ate me.

I stop thinking when I heard the door open and I saw Kioz topless while he is drying his hair with a white towel. Everything here is colour white. Even the bedsheets are colour white.

He looks at me and I feel pressure.

“I'll take a bath,” I said like an idiot and ran to the bathroom.

I am used to being with a man. I don’t have straight male friends and was not surrounded while growing up.

Pagkatapos ko maligo Kioz is nowhere to found in his room. Did he have a working room like Dad?

I heaved a deep sigh and opened the other door and I saw a walking closet. I saw my clothes organized and neatly placed.

Kioz is working just like he said.

I want to go home. I feel better when I am home. I am not sure kung makakatulog ako ng mahimbing dito sa bahay na ito. Hindi ako sanay na natutulog sa ibang bahay, namamahay ako.