Chapter 4, part 4 - Secret feelings and stolen kisses.

We made our way up the concrete steps that led to the large village hall, and we couldn’t ignore all the obvious stares we were getting and wolf whistles, guys telling us we look ’killer’!

We whispered to each other in little giggles, excited for the night ahead.

We walked in and headed straight for the drinks bar, the music was blaring and the walls were covered in artificial leaves with orange and yellow flowers with lights intertwined in them, the ceiling had light blue thin sheeting draped across with green and white lights and the drinks being served tonight, were all concocted with yellow orange and green coloured syrups mixed in with the alcohol. The hall was already filled with so many people and the atmosphere was a buzz.

Dakota handed us our drinks she ordered and gave us a smile ”Well girls lets drink and PARTY”.. we all shouted Wahoo’s at the same time and clinked our glasses together, we took a few sips before making our way over to a group of friends we knew near the dancefloor.

We were all chatting and laughing away as my eyes looked across the dancefloor and stopped at Layton in the far corner opposite us with his little posse and a bunch of giggling drunk girls. Sam was near Layton kissing some skinny girl with long dark hair as she was swooning all over him and it was gross to see considering he was my brother, even though he was a sweetheart most of the time he was still a typical lad and enjoyed all the female attention.

I could see Layton, much like Sam he had a girl hanging off him, but she was blonde with long legs and a tiny tight silver dress on so far up her backside the whole hall could nearly have a view to the red knickers she was wearing. I took a deep sigh and reminded myself of the promise me and the girls had made tonight and anyway it’s not like I haven’t seen it all before a thousand times… it’s just whenever I saw him like that with a girl It hurt, every time!

We must have been chatting and drinking for at least an hour when I felt a little whisper in my ear from behind me

"Hey beautiful”. I whipped my head round to see Liam with a big smile on his face.

“Aw hey you“. we both leaned into each other for a brief hug. ”I’ve not seen you around lately, how you been?”

“I know, I’ve actually been doing extra training so I can pass and then go on to do the guard training and it’s been hard work, I’ve been so tired after each session, so no time to get out, see the old crew”.

“I know what you mean, I’ve been doing extra training at home with my dad”.

“Ahh well at least you get to train with a true warrior, that’s such an honour Lelanna, you’re very lucky”

I grinned “Yes I am and to be honest I do enjoy it”

“You know It’s a shame we haven’t been partnered up in a while, I miss sparring with you” he smiled cheekily

And I suddenly felt shy as I smiled back

“Anyway”...he broke the silence with one brow raised and rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as he started to look as bashful as I was ..”umm would you… .like to dance?”

“Oh yea sure course I would” I rushed eagerly

“Really”? Great”.. he took our drinks and placed them on the table as he held out his hand to take mine and lead me to the dancefloor.

We danced closely on the dancefloor to the fast paced music as we laughed at each other’s dance moves that we tried to make up and he was hilarious as he tried to imitate the robot dance.

Just as the fifth song ended, a slow tune came on and I rolled my eyes at the DJ, it was if they had a rule or routine that every thirty minutes, they had to play some sort of love song as if they were hoping we’d leave the hall in more couples than we arrived in... trying to secretly match make us all.

As Emma Bale’s - ’All I want’ started to play He took my hand in his again and placed his other hand on my back and pulled me in closer to him, my other hand resting on his shoulder as we smiled at each other, and I leaned in to place my chin lightly on his shoulder while we moved stepping side to side slowly together. I closed my eyes while we swayed listening to the song and smiling inside at how cute Liam was and how much he had made me smile tonight. It was slow and soft and sweet, I felt his thumb on my back slowly stroking my dress, holding onto me...

I blinked my eyes open and looked at the crowd of dancing couples, then across the dancefloor I saw Layton dancing with the blonde girl, but his eyes were on me. Our eyes collided with each other’s as my heart leapt while we watched each other dance with someone else, closely, tightly...my legs felt wobbly at his hard stare and my heart was thumping fast as the words of the song played through my ears. He didn’t take his eyes off of me and I felt unable to take mine away from him.

My weak heart felt as if it was being pulled to him, I’d wished it was Layton I was held close to, his hand holding mine and I suddenly felt guilty for Liam. I took a deep breath, gulped hard and slowly closed my eyes, in an attempt to block him out as I willed for this moment to be over.

After a few moments when the song was coming to an end, I fluttered them open again to see him still looking at me in deep thought. I wanted to walk over to him and just let him hold me. I slowly pulled away from Liam and thanked him for the dance, I told him I needed another drink and that I’d be back after to which he just gave me a massive smile and said he’d be waiting for me...

This sweet guy was right here, and I still let myself get distracted by Layton I smiled nervously and walked away quickly disappearing into the toilets instead to let myself have a minute alone, I needed to snap myself out of it and stop being so weak.

After fifteen minutes or so I went back into the Hall, grabbed a new drink and headed for my group.. or what was left of it.. some of them had dispersed, including Dakota who was dancing with a handsome tall guy who looked like he couldn’t take his eyes off of her..

I couldn’t see Liam anywhere and I avoided looking in Layton’s direction so I turned and faced my group again, while giving Maisie and Lola details of my dance with Liam that they asked for.. although I left out the part where I happened to look longingly at Layton. there was no point, and it was a moment I wanted to forget.

We must have been chatting away for a while and I had no idea where Liam was but in all honestly it didn’t matter, I was having a great time with everyone and seeing Lola get pulled to the dancefloor by a guy and her having what looked like the time of her life. I was in the middle of chatting with a friend in our group when I felt a light tap on my shoulder, turning around expecting it to be Liam, I was surprised to see it was Layton instead.

I mean we always tended to chat and have a laugh at parties but for some reason this time it seemed different and whatever that was on the dancefloor, it made me feel uneasy tonight being close to him. “Oh hi Layton, sorry thought you were someone else”. I said lightly as I gave him a small smile

“Ahh like that guy you were dancing with earlier?”

"Yes actually, but never mind! you having a good time”?

"Uh yea it’s been alright I suppose”. his hands were in his pockets, and he looked over at dancefloor for a moment before looking back to me ”Can I have a dance with you though?”

‘Oh shit’ my head echoed, and I hesitated to answer him. I didn’t want to have any more ′moments’ with Layton especially not tonight.. I tried to stall as I looked past him ”well where’s the blondie you were dancing with? She’s given herself over to you already?.. that was fast” I stated with a jealous smirk.

“Oh haha very funny” he said sarcastically ”no she’s gone to the bathroom I think and anyway it doesn’t matter I wanna have a dance with you… If... if that’s ok”?

I bit the bottom of my lip in angst

“please”? he asked again in a pleading tone

“Ok… sure why not” I shrugged and I regretted my answer as soon as I gave it “what are you doing?” My wolf questioned me anxiously.

He smiled and took my hand as we walked to the dancefloor, my eyes dropping to the floor as I ask myself what the hell am I bloody doing, and my wolf kept asking me the same.

Before I knew it he pulled me in and then started to spin me and twirl me to the music, as I realised what he was doing we both started to laugh as we playfully danced together in each other’s arms... and I already felt myself beginning to relax even though I knew it was probably the worst thing for me to do but we kept dancing to another two songs when the lights lowered again ready for yet...another slow song for all the couples.

Ed Sheeran – ’perfect’ began to fill the room and romance clouded the atmosphere as everyone started to slow dance together. Layton held my hand tightly and pulled me toward him in a flash, he looked into my eyes, and put his hand on my back pulling me even closer into him so our bodies were lightly touching as he kept his other hand in mine. We slowly swayed looking into each other’s eyes and once again I was captivated by him, his beautiful eyes and his warmth. I felt as though my heart was going to thump out from my chest as I took each shaky breath.

I saw his jaw clench as the tips of my fingers lightly caressed the back of his neck, his eyes never wavering from mine... but reality flashed into my head, and I broke eye contact having the sudden need to end this dance and all that he was making me feel. The aching love that was igniting from my stomach almost made my eyes water but I clenched down the tears and just stared past his shoulder, not having the will to look at him anymore but his cheek was suddenly touching mine as he leant down closer to me and I felt his hand softly trail from my back up to my hair twirling my curls, then he lowered his face until his nose was hovering over my neck I could feel and hear his breaths and I felt so desperate to feel his kiss, just to turn my head slightly and feel his lips just to know them even for a second.. just for a moment but I refrained and tried with all my might to stay composed. His hand that was still holding mine, his thumb slowly started stroking my hand.

I felt a wave of comfort and tenderness, it was as if there was nobody else around us, it was just me and him in this moment as If our hands and our bodies were moulded together perfectly. This sweet, beautiful moment It felt so magical, so right that I knew I would never forget it.

He pulled his face away from my neck and rested his forehead on mine so our faces were just an inch away from each other and our lips.. so close. I forced my tears not to come as I gulped them down, my poor heart beating a thousand times.

The song came to an end, and I slowly moved my face just an inch from his as our eyes were still locked into each other’s. I saw deep emotion behind his, there was something, something there... but what? All for a few seconds we just stayed like this, and our hands were still locked together as we just remained unable to move.

“Layyyyyton” a loud drunken voice came from the side of us jerking us out of our haze, both of our heads whipped to the side to see it was the blonde he had been with tonight and she was looking rather worse for wear as she held another whisky in her hand. “I’ve been looking for you" she said slurring her words and almost stumbling over her own heels..

Layton: ”oh um well...”

"never mind I’ve found you now“… she said cutting off whatever he was about to say.. she drunkenly put her arm around his shoulder, he looked at her while I looked back at him.. I gave him a moment to look to me, but he didn’t so I jerked my hand out of his suddenly feeling so angry and once again a fool. I turned and walked away toward the bar with a sudden urge for another drink… or five!.

I was just in the middle of downing my second self pity shot when…”uhh what was that”.. I turned to see it was Dakota looking at me wide eyed.

“Uh what was what? ”Oh and uh who’s the cutie you’ve been dancing with?”

"Nooo don’t change the subject.. we’ll talk about that after I want to know about you! You and that awfully romantic dance you and Layton just had I literally could not take my eyes off you both!”

I sighed and rolled my eyes’ “nothing. Just.. actually I don’t even know what that was” then I finished my shot.

"Well it looked.. well from where I was standing that wasn’t just an innocent dance between two friends, there’s definitely feelings there Lil’s“. she looked at me with meaningful eyes.

"Yea there is D, MY feelings”.. I said shaking my head at annoyance at myself. ”It did feel amazing and I thought" I took a deep sigh ”maybe, could he be feeling something?...but then blondie came back and that was it like he forgot I was still stood in front of him”.

"Well… maybe she just caught him off guard or something I mean it did look pretty intense Lil’s even from where I was standing, maybe he just didn’t know what to do”..

I thought for a moment at what she said.. maybe she’s right and I’m just overreacting, because that dance was. Well, it was SOMETHING, it had to be… surely? And not just on my part, there was definitely something in his eyes.

I came out of my thoughts and looked at Dakota who was looking wide eyed over my shoulder. I looked back in the direction of her stare to see Layton was kissing the girl ’fuck this’ I had enough, were clearly just friends in his eyes. I knew I couldn’t pretend anymore I couldn’t be his friend and watch him with other women, it was just too hard every time.

My face fell and Dakota squeezed my hand “Shit” she shook her head disapprovingly “Oh Lil’s I’m so sorry Hun, I really am”..

I finally pulled my eyes away from Layton and just shaking my head I looked over the bar turning my back to him so I couldn’t catch sight of them kissing again.

"Well, I think that calls for more shots, don’t you?” She waved her hand at the bar man to grab his attention.

“Don’t you want to get back to that guy you were dancing with?”

"Naa he was getting too touchy, feely and besides, I wanna stay here with you and drink some more”, she said with a laugh, and she managed to make me laugh with her.

“More shots it is”. I nodded eagerly.

“hi, could we get some shots over here please… um I’m thinking four each for now" she asked the bar man she looked at me with a mischievous grin as my eyes widened at the thought of doing that many shots after the three I just done before she got here.

We counted to three as we did our first shot and straight away we turned into giggles and laughter while she shamelessly told me all about the guy she was dancing with who kept trying to persuade her to go home with him tonight! ”As IF" she kept repeating ”even when I told him I was a virgin, it just seemed to excite him even more”! and we both fell into fits of laughter. ”anyway I told him I was going to powder my nose, well that was half hour ago” she said laughing ”I wonder if he’s still waiting for me to come out” we nearly keeled over with laughter as we pictured him drunkenly hovering around the girls toilets.

After we finished our shots we decided to re-join our group, I was lost in conversation with Jenny, a girl we were doing our training with when all of a sudden Dakota tugged at my arm ”come on girl we got to get on the dance floor, the DJ is about to play one of our songs”

I looked at her in amusement as I mouthed a sorry to Jenny and let Dakota drag me over to the dancefloor ”what song”? I asked her shouting over the music

"ahh you’ll see” she looked back at me and winked. We got to the dance floor and side stepped to the music already playing but once it got to the end, ‘take me there’ - by Mya started blasting through the speakers and I knew straight away it was the song Dakota had asked for and within a few seconds Lola and Maisie came running over as they danced and sang with us.

We were addicted to this song when we first became friends, we would sing it when we were at school together, at every sleepover we had, even 10 years later this song brings back so many memories of our childhood together. We couldn’t help but hold hands as we sang at the top of our lungs, swaying and dancing, singing every word, or rather drunkenly screaming every word.

The song drew to an end, but the DJ kept playing songs we liked so we kept dancing, our hands loosened from each other as people from our group started to join us. Some of the guys showed off their skilled dancing, some breakdancing and others doing Michael Jackson stye moves as we all danced around them watching in amazement.

By now there was about fifteen of us dancing in a big circle, we all took turns to get into the middle and show off a little move, which had us howling with laughter as most of us would fall over our own feet or onto to each other but song after song came and no one wanted to leave the dance floor.

About three hours passed when I finally started to feel the height and straps of my shoes stinging my feet, I tiredly left the dancefloor to the tables when I felt someone put their hand in mine I looked to the side of me to see Dakota grinning and still singing to the song playing, I grinned happily at her and pulled her into a hug.

"I’m going to go home now D, my feet are hurting and I’m tired” I spoke in her ear and pecked her on the cheek.

She hugged me tighter ”ok Honey, I’ll let the girls know you’ve gone home then I’ll be heading off too”. I pulled back nodded and smiled. I looked to the girls on the dancefloor as I headed toward the door, to see them giggling and dancing, I did wish I had it in me to stay longer because I was having so much fun with them all, but my body was crying to get out of these shoes and crawl into bed.

I was out the doors into the fresh cool air with just the ringing of the music in my ears as I made my way down the hall steps, I got to the bottom when a shout stopped me in my tracks

“LELANNA”

I turned round when I heard my name to see Layton at the top of the stairs. Of course fuckin Layton, because I’ve not had enough of Layton yet!! I moaned in my head “What?” I sighed… what could he possibly want now!

“You’re going?” he asked in surprise as he was coming down the steps, he reached the bottom and stood in front of me

“Yesss Layton that’s why I’m on this side on the doors... to go home” I said sarcastically. I was tired and achy, and I just wanted my bed now, I couldn’t stomach THIS any longer tonight.

“Oh well you didn’t say bye”.

“Well, I don’t need to say bye every time I leave a place, Layton and anyway I didn’t want to hang around because I’m tired”.

“Ok.... well you always used to say goodbye” his eyes looked down to the floor.

“I’m going home Layton, you’re always preoccupied anyway with women so I’m not going to start tapping you on the shoulder when you have your tongue down someone’s throat, just so I can say goodbye” I looked at him and waved my arms out to the side as feeling exasperated as he stood in silence still looking at the floor.

"I just..well I wanted to say that.. you looked really beautiful tonight.stunning actually… not that that’s a surprise cause you always look good” his voice sounded nervous as he blabbered his words ”and I... well when you agreed to dance with me, it meant a lot”.. he said as his eyes finally lifted up to look at me.. and I just felt confused and frustrated!

“Well.. That’s ok and thank you“.. I replied with one eyebrow raised, not entirely sure of what else to say next.. ”I’m glad you’ve had a good night Layton but I’m gonna head home so I’ll see you around”.. Just as I turned to walk away, he instantly grabbed my hand making me turn back to face him as my brows furrowed in surprise

He looked tense and his eyes locked on me.. “I… I just”... then all of a sudden he leaned in fast to kiss me, but before his lips could touch mine I quickly reared my head back in shock, my hands flung up against his chest as I pushed him hard away from me.

He looked at me in confusion as I just looked at him in anger.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” I shouted at him.

He quickly took a step back, looking embarrassed ”Im sorry..I thought”..his hand ran through his hair as he tried to catch his breath “I thought.. I just wanted to kiss you Lanna, I’m sorry..he said all flustered

I just looked at him feeling dumbfounded ”Are you fucking serious Layton.. Huh? You want to kiss me NOW after you’ve spent ALL NIGHT WITH YOUR TONGUE DOWN THAT GIRLS THROAT! Do you honestly think for one fucking second, I want to share her fucking saliva! I scolded him as my chest heaved with anger. I stepped back further away from him.

"YOU pick now...NOW to try and kiss me… Have you got THAT little respect for me that after all the years we’ve known each other.. you think that’s all I deserve??”

It fell silent for a moment as we just looked at each other, our mixed emotions clinging in the air around us. Luckily, we were the only ones out here cause it would have been embarrassing and it would have quickly turned into gossip, which I knew Sam would fume at.

"I’m, I’m sorry Lanna”..he said quietly with regretful and sad eyes.

I scoffed shook my head “that’s it? That’s all you want to say to me right now?” He just stood there as he looked around at everything but me, so I just turned and walked away leaving him stood there alone and I didn’t look back..