Chapter 4

NATHANIEL 

I let out a muffled grunt as I stared blankly at the system, my eyes were on the report on the flat screen of the system but my mind was somewhere else entirely.

The past three days had been hell for me. The movies we watched made divorce looked so simple, but it wasn't. I had been feeling like shit since Val left my life. I couldn't believe we were finally over even though I hadn't sent the paper back to my lawyer.

“It sucks. Divorce sucks a lot.” I groaned out, banging my head on my office desk as memories of that night came rushing back in my head.

I hate what I did to Val. The thought of hurting her that night scared me to the bone, but I couldn't help wanting to hurt her, knowing she betrayed me. She betrayed my love for her, she fucking broke my heart. I had to send her out that night because knowing the woman I married wasn't entirely mine made me want to do things I would end up regretting.

After sending her out that night in that short nightie, I realized the street would be too cold for a pregnant woman. So, I searched for a thick coat and left to give it to her, but I saw her being carried into a car.

“Fucking Valentina!” I yelled, knocking my laptop off the desk and it shattered on the floor. I dug my fingers into my hair and grabbed a fistful of my hair but the pain wasn't enough. It just wasn't enough compared to the pain in my heart.

A light knock came on the door but I was too hurtful to acknowledge whoever that was. I stood there, hands on my desk as I panted heavily.

“Hey, sweetheart.” a familiar voice that I knew to be Julianne, my close friend, said in a singsong as the door crept open and I fell back to my seat.

“What are you doing here, Julie?” I grunted, slapping a hand over my face so my best friend wouldn't know how much I was hurting so she wouldn't give me that I–told–you–so look.

I heard a glass dropping on the desk and I realized she was here with alcohol to get me out of my mystery. Just what I want.

“What do you mean by what I was doing here? Am I not allowed to visit my only friend who is mourning the dead of his marriage?” she spat out in a mockery voice and the only thing I could do was to grunt.

I wasn't expecting less of a mockery from Julianne. She had been telling me from the day I proposed to Valentina that she wasn't the one for me. At first, I thought Julianne was being unnecessary worried about things that wouldn't happen until she started giving me evidence that proved that my wife wasn't indeed the one for me. She was having affair even though she knew how much I loved her.

“Not now, Julie. I don't want to see anyone right now. Thank you very much, but you should go.” that was a lie, even a baby born today will be able to tell that I was lying. I didn't want to be alone because I swear, I might hurt myself if I was to be alone for another hours.

“Tell that to yourself Natt.” she scoffed and I drew my bottom lip in my mouth, biting hard on it. Valentina might have left me, but she left a lot of things behind that reminded me of her. Valentina was the only one calling me Natt, hearing that from my best friend was like a torture to my heart.

“You should have get out of that damned marriage earlier, it wouldn't have hurt this much. I hate to see you this way.” she hissed, shaking her head as she opened the booze and poured it into a glass and handed it to me.

I arched my brow as I took the glass from her. I knew Julianne didn't drink alcohol so the four bottles were for me. “You brought four bottles for me? I know you plan on getting me drunk but thank you very much. I'm only taking one.” 

My glass paused an inch from my lips before I brought it home and the soft burn of whiskey seeped down my throat. I hated beer. It taste like piss, but since it was the drink Julianne brought I had no choice but to drink it.

Julie dropped the bottle and settled her phone beside it. Her gaze was soft and appealing as she knelt beside my seat and took my hand in hers.

“Let me help you, even if it just to forget about her.” her voice was small and I shook my head, gulping down the rest of my drink and I poured some more into my glass. “You don't need any woman, you have me and I will be whatever you want me to be if it means to make you happy.”

I didn't think I understand what she was saying, or perhaps it was the alcohol that was taking away my sense because there was no way Julianne would be proposing to take on a wife role in my life. But I doubt it was the alcohol but there was no way I was getting drunk with just two glasses. It was Julianne who was spouting out nonsense.

“You—what are you…”

“I need to use the restroom.” Julianne cut me off and hastily stood up, running towards the bathroom and I sucked in a sharp breath.

“Really? You don't have to go out of your way to make me happy.” I sighed sadly. I knew that Julianne loved me as a friend and she wanted the best for me. But I wasn't selfish to let her go out of her way just to prove that she wanted the best for me.

I shook my head, not wanting to think too much about it. I needed to get over Val, so I wouldn't give Julie anything to worry about.

“Fuck my life.” I hissed as I settled my empty glass on the desk and made to grab the bottle when Julianne's phone lit up and a message popped on her screen. I didn't mean to read the message but Valentina’s name that I saw made me grabbed the phone and I read it with my heart beating so fast.

“So, Natt, you don't have to think too much about what I…” Julianne was still saying when I stood up from the seat, my hands were trembling so bad as I moved a little forward, closing the distance between us.

“Tell me this is not true. Tell me it wasn't you.” I begged with my eyes as I shoved the phone to her face, letting her read her own message.

I didn't believe Julianne would do such a cruel thing to me. Never had I thought Julianne was my problem but the moment she gulped down hard, shutting her eyes like she had just been caught from plotting evil, I realized it was her all along.

“I’m sorry, Nathaniel.” she sniffed, tears rolling down her eyes as she dragged her eyes open. Raising those damned eyebrows that usually made me feel guilty. “I did it for you. It's because I love you so much. I'm sorry.”

Her phone slipped out of my hand. I staggered backwards until I crashed into my seat, my hands went to my head and I grab a fistful of my hair.

“Y–you lied that Valentina was having an affair because you loved me? You schemed with the doctor to give me a false result that I had been shooting blanks so I would hate Valentina and that was because you love me? You made me file for divorce after telling me shit about Valentina just because you love me?” I barked at her, my grip on my hair loosed and I let it slid to my lap.

I had failed Valerina. I had failed my wife. I shouldn't have listened to Julianne. I definitely shouldn't have believed the doctor. Valentina loved me, she loved me so much. I was such a fool and I was blinded by jealousy to realized Val wouldn't have done such. Val didn't cheated on me. I betrayed her. I betrayed our marriage.

“You…” I picked up my phone and stood up from my seat, turning my gaze to Julie who hadn't moved an inch from where she was standing. “You better don't be here when I get back because I will fucking kill you and bury you myself.”

I sprinted out of my office and dialled my wife's number as I entered into my car. Driving out of the company like a drunken man. The call entered voice mail and I cursed under my breath. I swear, I won't ever forgive myself if anything happen to Valentina.